Pdd/Aggression | Autism PDD

Well I did have a chance to talk to my son  he is upset that he isn't working or going to school. He had a job but lost it due to his aggression with others. He was seeing a girl and that also ended badly he took it as total rejection. He feels like he is a burden. I knew some of this already but he says his mind is consumed with thoughts and they wont go away . He did also admit that he was not taking his meds regularly   Thanks for all the advice I have been researching doctors in my area also  I hope we can get back on track and he will be able to get another job to help build his self esteem. Lanette Ya, the medication may be needed for kinda an emotional boost, but he needs direction, once i found what i wanted in life and had a direction i was much more happy with myself, and more at peace with the world. Actually, i knew what i wanted to do at that age. He is 19, so i assume hes eather wanting to enter collage or is already in school? If I may ask, what was his job? Im curious cause it seems, dispite maby having a hard time dealing with ppl, all of us, or at least many of the other ppl with similar disorders I have talked to have had a wide array of employment, sometimes even dealing with ppl i know its hard but I have done it plenty of times and feel to an extend it got me better at it, and probably where I am currently. He had a GF so he sounds like he does well enough in that area. I think its shocking how closly he resembles myself at that age, i think he will do just fine with direction who knows, maby someday not even need the medication. I myself never was on any medication, and dont have a perscription now, tho axiety and stress for me have been a big issue over the years, my whole life and im sure your son feels plenty of both.

What is his school situation? i mean, its summer, but what about the fall semester, also, im very curious, at that age i would be entering collage. For a job, and it was part time, I worked at mcdonnelds, met alot of ppl, very social environment, and i could do the repeditive tasks quickly and became efficent at that work. I did quite good in school, and im sure if your son found what he wanted to study i bet he would excell.

I really hope he stays outa trouble, i probably felt the same as he did at that age and it can go down a bad road. It was this age my parents were also very concerned about me, it lasted a few years also, i hope your son can do better then I did, i hope he can make better choices and school is 1 of those good choices. Probably the only good choice I made at that time.Well back again ,what ever is going on in my son's mind I have no idea. He has been regressing almost like a little kid asking me things he already knows wandering off not remembering where he was I'm getting concerned, he goes to the regular Dr on Monday his pshy is on vacation till next week. This has never happened before this is not a melt down , I'm not sure what it is, Just wanted to get this off my chest  Bobby is 19, I have 2 other children Melanie17, &Tyler11  it is hard for them to watch their brother become somebody so different. Last week it was the aggression , now I don't know what this is. Thanks for listening. [QUOTE=MiMom3]

Sometimes I think parents are looking for a quick fix when communication and patience may be better than side effects of meds. I am not judging anyone whose kids need medication.

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I wish Payne were one of those kids that could be without it...we have tried going without it. HORRIBLE CONSEQUENCES for that decision. He is over 4 feet tall and 70 lbs and solid. If he ever decided to hurt me...he could do so easily and badly. As with any decision regarding our children the decision to medicate can not come lightly.
First of all, your son needs to see a specialist in autism.  A physician (psychiatrist) who is very familiar with how people on the autism spectrum react to meds, which can be atypically.  For aggression, the med that has been shown to be the most effective with the vast majority of ASD people who are aggressive is Risperdal.  It takes about a month for this med to work and the doctor will start your son on a low dose, so it can take additional months to slowly raise the dose to the proper level, but this is the only med on the market that is specifically OK'd for on label use in autism.  That does not mean that other meds are bad.  It just means that Risperdal has been shown to be so effective with so many people with autism that it's recommended for use with the disorder.  Good luck.

Woodsman

Thank you for sharing your story, and I think what you did was a life lesson. It doesn't make you a bad person. In this day and age of meds, I am also glad you shared that you never took any. Sometimes I think parents are looking for a quick fix when communication and patience may be better than side effects of meds. I am not judging anyone whose kids need medication. I just like to hear that some kids can live without it. I wish all the best for all the 19 year olds out there, I have a sister who is that age, and she does a lot of immature things as well.

Payne is VERY aggressive too...he takes Risperdal - ABSOLUTELY NO WEIGHT GAIN FOR THE RECORD- just saying not ALL kids have the weight gain...we fight to keep weight on him, Lamictal for seizures and mood stabilizing, Clonidine (Catapres) for hyperactivity and impulsiveness and Prozac for anxiety with the VERY occasional Phenergan for migraine (really for nausea). It is IMPERATIVE to find the right doctor for your child and you b/c ultimately if you don't trust them then you won't seek their expertise. I love our doctor - we've seen him for years...I even went to see him by myself when I was having problems with my own bipolar issues. Payne is dx classic autistic, bipolar, ADHD, epileptic, and debilitating migraines. Payne did NOT respond well to the Abilify or Seroquel - even if the meds are in the same class does NOT mean they will have the same reaction to the others.

Once you get him on the right medication he'll be just fine. Some of these medications have cruel side effects...it's not that good...

Depakote: You're on chemo pretty much for anti-convulsants, and anti-psychotics...The sodium goes through the blood stream and up the central nervous system, and once it reaches the top of the head, you get hair loss, weight gain from some people they gain right after they take it, and they wake up one morning 10 lbs. bigger than they were. Anorexia is rare, but not too awful bad, mouth sores, etc. I can't say anything good about Depakote.

Risperdal: Weight Gain is completely unbelievable.

Geodon: Incontinence, diahrrea, gas

One I'd like to recommend for a bi-polar, is Zyprexa. I'd ask about a lot of these medications, instead of treating the problem, you get something else.

I just wonder, i mean, she knows her son better then anybody, but I never needed medication, i was hyper as a kid, so what every kid is, HFA, AS or NT. But anyways, when I was 19 and at the peak of my aggression, medication simply was not the answer, had I well... first used my brain and realized this is a bad crowd (dispite the fact i grew up with half of them) but also, i wish that I coulda been more open with my parents, i dont know if its a HFA thing, but I was always so secretive, i talked to them, but never about problems, they did not know how to handel it cause back then this kind of info about the disorder did not exist (late 80's early 90's). I pushed everything down, all my problems, until they burst out. I think her son may have some problem, and i think that it would be great to try and talk about it, i wish i did. Parents who love their kids always have time to sit and talk, to help, u want them to succeed. Try talking before medicating. Plus he is an adult, so if he is to be medicated, hell have to take the initative himself, even tho he may still be on his parents inshurance, at least in the US.Thank you for the information , I need help finding a doctor in my area do you have any ideas?  He is getting worse and  I need to get some help with medication. The last Dr said he was bipolar but i just don't think so he really doesn't have manic episodes just very aggressive and anxiety .  Thanks Lanette Now... b4 i tell this quick story, i dont want anybody to think im a bad person, I think im generally good, God fearing/loving. the circumstances were such that things led to other things and, well... the restults for everyone was bad, lesson learned.

ANyways, when I was 19 i was about sick and tired of being picked on by these other kids in the neghboorhood (although we were not kids by now) I went to a gathering at a neghboors house, their was this kid their, we grew up together, and in front of his friends he would pick on me, everyone their knew i was the 'odd one' and almost did not feel welcome at this gathering, and had i went with my gut instinct, the horror that insued would never have occured.

While he was picking on me, i was getting angry (i too had alot of aggression at this age, what caused it was the peer factor, perhapse this is your sons issue??)

Anyways... I lashed out at him, i had pretty much lost it, almost meltdown but i held it together in front of the crowd, and started basicly, well... for lack of a better word, i was trying to start a fight . It was stupid, and i regret it every day, it haunts me sometimes even. But, and never expecting it, he punched me right in the jaw, i stumbbled back and it was on. Lucky, i was a little bigger then he was, and quickly got the upper hand, i had him down, i was soo aggressive then, i dont know what came over me, never have i felt this way, i wanted to 'return the favor' and I wanted to do it in front of his buddies. He was on the defencive, and I hit him several times right on the side of his face. His friends watched for a second, then seperated us. I had a bloody lip, he ended up with a floating fracture (the bone under his left eye was cracked according to the X-ray he received)

Im telling this story only cause, well.. obviously, 6 years later, i know it was wrong, and regret it, even appologized, as did he. But, because I had a rap for being different, (i found out recently some neghboors heard i was autisitc, I was HFA tho, heh) the neghboors did not like me, and everyone in the house ganged up on me, the police came, i got cuffed, he went to the hospital, it was over. The judge in court dismissed the case, because he hit me first by his later addmission.

Before this, i was becomeing increasingly aggressive, all because of peer activity, their was alot of pressure, alot of miss interpretation (social) by then your friends social behavior is complex, and for us, we cant keep up, so we get made fun of, harrassed, maby physically abused, its too much, first year as an adult, perhapse not ready for the adult world, i dont know!?

I think, before the meds, you should talk to your son, really sit down (if he is willing) find out whats bothering him, its something, my aggression was due to environmental factors, my parents did nothing, one day it got outa control. I hope you can talk to your son, enshure he does not do something to get himself in trouble. I think, as good as i did do in life up to this point, i still, dont want these kids to make the same mistakes I made growing up. Interveine and get him on the right track.

This is why im here, i made soo many mistakes, and feel that, i was (along with rainman, stickboy) kinda the first kids in the modern age to, well... just miss the treatments, the understanding, and our lives are all very different, to fit in, to be social, to be accepted, as i cant talk for them, but for myself, meant everything in middle and high school, i made horrible mistakes, my parents did not have the understanding you guys have now, as well as I did, and all the lessons i learned, i, as much as i dont like writing these stories of my past, (and im hoping nobody passes judgement on me, thinks im a bad person, i really try and be decent) its just, just because one has HFA does not mean they want to be alone their whole life, i wanted friends, i want the average american lifestyle, be like everyone else, the problem is, how to obtain it.

I was wild in my teen years, because that was the path i choose, i screwed up, made horrible mistakes, i tell these stories so that you parents wont mess up like my parents did (but i love them ) you have information my parents never had, right from the beginning, i was at a diss advantage compaired to your kids, and I think... maby its destiny, that I was to screw up so bad as a teenager, perhapse, to maby become not only a decent person now (i think) but also, to spread my story, so you parents can enshure your kids dont repeat my mistakes. Good luck.!DOes your son show emotion, not anger or contentment (the only ones i typically showed my whole life). Just to give me an idea of how open he is with u. I was not open, i can say honestly and to my best recollection, that the only time I showed weakness was the day my parakeet had to be put down, it had a stroke, suffered and could not eat, my dad wanted me to go with him to go to the vet, i was 9 years old, i cryed, i did not want him to be killed. I never showed affection, even when I was little, no hugs, no kiss, no saying I love you. I think I cryed in 3-4th grade when I moved to a new school, I was in a jym class, all mainstream kids, i was the only special ed kid in a huge jym class consisting of 3 3rd or 4th grade classes. Many in the class picked on me, the year just started, and many ganged up on me , hit me, pushed me, made fun of me, i cryed in jym class, and when I cam home, at first i did not wanna talk about it, I had a meltdown about it, and i was cryin. other then those few things, i never was open with my parents, althought im sure i cryed a ton more times, i never really conveyed how i felt, my feelings, discused emotions, ect. I wonder, and thats very important, as I feel i could have opened up, had a better relationship, and gotton more help, struggled less.

Will your sone be truthful, show emotion, will he explain how he feels, what he wants, his fears?he sounds utterly lost. I know everybody is different, but i know that was a very difficult age, actually between 17-19 were really difficult, had i not at least had collage to look forward to or already attend, i dont know if i woulda made it, i was depressed about my situation, my friends i grew up with were gone, i feared i would never be anybody in the future, feared i could never succeed, feared my parents would kick me out and that I would have to work at MCdonnalds for the rest of my life. Dont get me wrong i had good times, but in all seriousness, if i was not enrolled in collage, i probably woulda lost it. I had problems at this time.

I sincerely feel that perhapse, he feels lost in life, hes angry, fearfull, understands how 'outside' he is. Absolutly it is time to intervene, i got into trouble around this time, first criminal offence, and i was in collage, but still was having problems, all personal, i blaimed everyone else but myself. I sincerely hope he is not abusing substances.

What does he want to do with his life? Has he told u of any short or long term goals? What does he want to study? What is his life like outside the home (at least what u know)? What is his daily scedual like? Does he talk on the phone to ppl, use the computer, does he drive? Do his friends come over or does he go over to friends houses? If u dont think these questions are to invasive, id really like to understand better his situation, i really think i can help with some parents questions, soemtimes. Im not a parent, and their are many questions I have been asked that I did not know the answer too. But I think me and your son, at that age, I had alot going on, and i know my parents feared for me, things were getting worse, but at least collage kept me from 'giving up' on life.

Around this time, I had occasional bouts of depression. Im not like anybody ive ever met (DUH! ) I am so future oriented, always concerned about something that has yet to happen. Its this mentaility that I think allowed me to in the end succeed in life (to this point). Maby your son may not have the same mentailiy, but I think he is worried about his future. You meansioned schooling earler, what is his current status? Is he searching for jobs? DOes he have hobbies? Does he spend alot of time in his room alone? DOes he have a GF, or talk about that. IS he difficult to deal with, to talk to. Does he appear tired all the time? Does he come in late at night, does he sneak around, try to avoid others in the household? DOes he hang out with others in the neghboorhood? Has his eating habbits changed? This was the first time in my life I actually did alot of self reflection, i do it all the time on a regular basis. I have an excellent memory, I can remember details from when I was 3, details my parents cant even remember, and on occasion, I get flashbacks, memories I have forgotton. It was around 18-19 that I really started thinking about my past, their was soo much I wish I could have done over, my memories for the most part were very good, and I think, nastalga, like many ppl enjoy it, i think anyways, for me, these memories brought great depression, it may be an AS, ASD, HFA thing because nobody else appears to have the amount of memories from child hood, the amount of detail, i remember dates, or at least general dates, times, things said, how i felt. Im thinking, maby some of your sons problems is the depression he may be feeling caused by his memory. Maby he feels, or finally understands their is no going back, he really is an adult, he has to find a niche in society to fill. He cant go back and fix something, he has his hand of cards to play with. Does he talk about the past with ya, bring up moments from childhood? Does he have an interest in seeing old photo's?

Im sorry if this post is all over the place, and i appear to ramble (and do) in certain paragraphs. I really think at that age me and your son are very common, have many similar problems (i know everyone is different) He sounds very high functioning (he had a GF) I really think, if u can give me a little more info, or obtain it by really trying to get him to open up 2 ya (i never could honestly open up to my parents until adulthood. I thought it showed weakness, and my dad may have had something to do with it, we Love eachother, but he was always tough with me sometimes, even little, we built RC cars and raced them together, so we did things, but often, he was consumed with work, or fixing something, and was not open kind of person at all. I beleive that we would shair the same label ((aspringers)) if we both got to talk someone, my old HFA label from childhood i feel in inaccurate to discribe me currently, and i think your son is like us).

SOrry again for the ramble, and the questions in no particular order (writing has always been a weakness in school, cant ya tell??) I really want to help, and think i can if I knew more. I think many of the now children of parents on here, in another decade (more or less) will be in a similar spot, as i can tell many will be independent in adulthood. I think this age, is really the time for a need of direction if 1 did not have it already. This is the age of realization, of responsibility, of initative, and i bet many like me, your son, stickboy, rainman, ect hit a crossroads right here.

ok ill stop typing now, heheheh, enjoy reading the book i wrote above!Well I had to put Bob in the hospital, he was was just getting worse. Right now they put him on abilify but he is still afraid that people are after him. They are pretty sure bipolar is what is going on now. He just seems so lost  I hope we get this under control ,the doctor says she knows about PDD/Nos but sometimes I wonder they are so quick to say bipolar, even  in the er before we got a room. Ill keep you posted. Lanette I am sorry your family is going through this, hang in there. I hope your son feels better soon.  My son is 19 and the last 2 years has had a lot of aggression , he was on Xanax and zoloft but that didn't seem to work. Now he is just taking the Xanax but says he still has a lot of anxiety. Just wondering if this has happened to anyone else or if we should try a different doctor  Just at loose ends right now. Thanks  Lanette Hey Lanette, there's many more options than just medications. He may be still going through puberty, but I would try to help him out also. :) EmilyI would try a different doctor. Make sure they are experienced in ASD issues.  Agression is a big one that some of us with older children have experienced.  Adam is on Abilify for agression and Prozac for anxiety.  They seem to be working really well for him, but each child is different.  I'll keep you and Bob in my prayers. I hope something starts working for him soon. Hang in there.Well Bob is now on Depakote , abilify and ativan, He really doesn't seem better but I know it takes time to work.My other kids are tired of me never being home I go to work , eat dinner and go to the hospital. Well just wanted to up date I'm still trying to get a meeting with the doctor. Well its late Ill post again soon. Lanette thanks for all the supprt Lanette Right now they have Bob on Zyprexa , depakote and ativan. They say he is having a schizophrenic break. But today they said they really don't see him getting better. But the meds might not have fully kicked in yet Ill keep you updated Lanette Nette -- Sometimes it's necessary to be in the hospital in order for doctors to safely try out medication. Abilify is in the same class as Risperdal. I know that it can take MONTHS to adjust medication.  My son had become quite aggressive when the hormones hit at puberty.  Hormones are a powerful force and some of our kids get what's known as "cycles of rage" from the testosterone their bodies produce naturally.  Just think of the athlete steriod users who have sometimes developed "roid rage."  It's the same with our kids but their own BODIES cause it.  Testosterone is a steriod that a man's body naturally produces -- our kids can't avoid it.  Anyway, it took about a year for our psychiatrist to concoct a combination of meds that helped our son get "himself" back.  He's been 100% OK for about 3 years now, which is a blessings since, at 16, he is 6'2.5" and nearly 300 lbs.  He takes 6mg of Risperdal (for tics and aggression), 60 mg of Buspar (for anxiety) and 3mg of Tenex (for general hyperness) per day.  It's been our saving grace.  We worked very, very closely with an expert autism psychiatrist who has known our son since age 5.  We've had to put up with LOTS of weight gain, but it's a small price to pay to have our son back to his happy and reasonably cooperative self.  Please don't let yourself or your son feel guilty about his actions.  Brain chemistry is a hard thing to control.  Let us know how it all goes.Bob is now on Risperdal, depakote and abilify has anyone ever been on this combination? He is suppose to come home on Monday but right now he seems really medicated. Just a quick update Lanette
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