I feel bad saying this........
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but do you ever just feel hopeless? like........life is hopelss? and the situation is hopeless? and will it ever really change? and what kind of life is this really?
sorry, i am feeling EXCRUCIATINGLY sorry for myself and SO DOWN today. Hugs Autumn, We all have days like that. Then we see the beauty in the things our children can do, and it makes us smile. Hang in there.
And to answer your question - yes, all the time I definately have my black days. You are not alone. ((((HUGS)))) I was just crying my eyes out today. I am not normally a crier, but lately I just feel overwhelmed. autumn, I had posted the Serenity prayer on my fridge to read everyday..not sure why it helped me sooo much but it did. No one could tell me anything because no one knew what kind of progress my child could make or understand the pain I felt...I delt with life one day at a time. It is good to have at least a couple of hours to yourself a week that has nothing to do with autism..mine was to scout thrift stores or go to mall with teen daughter..go see a movie with my sisters or read a good book~not on autism:P It does get better over time and the pain of today will be just a small pang in your memory:) Life has a way of reminding you that all of this is for a reason...Try to learn all you can from it..it is the only life you got and this time next year will be so completely different:) HANG IN THERE:))) (((((XXXXXOOOO))))) I do often. Even on good days it seems that for all the reading, soulsearching and struggeling there is little to show and my little guy is still sitting there while I frantically spin my wheels. Hang in there - there will be other days. Autumn, Can you get a break from it all, and do something nice for you tomorrow? I hope you feel better soon. And yes I have had days like this, they suck! I usually don't talk like this, but they do suck. Take care of yourself. {{{{big hugs for you}}}}}} You know i have days like this also Autumn, In fact i think it was you that gave me a great big hug just the other day thank you for that!!!! Tomorrow is another day and will probably be a better one!!!! I have been in the same place as you for a while...as soon as I read your post I began to cry, which is something I havent done in a while but feel as if im on the verge of all the time...still no DX and everyone thinks im crazy...house hunting... the in laws...and to top things off last night the baby fell and hit his head long story short ask-a-nurse said call 911 the neighbor came over to watch the girls well...he ended up being fine but Trinity freaked out with all the noise and strangers and wouldnt let me go. Today she has been so whinny... just one example-the baby is sick and crying and shes having a major meltdown because she wants strawberry milk not the juice in her cup (to much milk makes her belly hurt) finally I give in(tho know it will be worse later around poop:thirty) its hard and now my oldest DD is starting school and hubby is working more than ever...tonigh doing laundry I thought...could I fit in the washer or dryer? Well sorry guess im not being very helpful so in the words of my beautiful husband-keep your head up, things WILL get better, we will make it thru this,I promise, now go take a bath and a nap, i'll be in there in a minute to tuck you in ~Nicole Yes, Autumn. I feel that way from time to time. I remind myself often, that things can be worse. I remember several years ago when my 16 year old was just 3, and had to get dental work done. I was devestated that she would be have to be anesthisized at such a young age. I was feeling very sorry for my baby...and VERY sorry for myself. Well, I took her for the standard blood work for pre op and we were sent to a ward of the hospital with EXTREMELY young cancer patients. Some were bald. Some were thin. A few had burn marks from heavy doses of chemo. Upon leaving the hospital, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and decided things could always be worse. So much worse than I could imagine even on my worst days. Don't get me wrong....I have days like the one you seem to be having. All those thoughts and worries about our children can't help but ocme out now and again. Have your sorrow. But then Autumn....pull yourself up by those bootsraps...because that is what we mothers and fathers must do! That sweet only son of yours needs you. Peace.
I am just SO much more interested in what I can do for my kids than what I'm feeling about the situation. Although, it makes me mad that our friends have abandoned me and my husband, and that I get no help (or understanding). That hurts more than me thinking about my own feelings about my kids and their ASD. Do something for yourself - ANYTHING. You will feel better. Hugs to you again. Patty HUGS From Us, the Boo Family... Mr Boo, Mrs Boo, Daniel Boo & Jordan Boo
I hope that your are feeling better soon. yes, occasionally I'd say I feel exactly like that. It will pass and you will be ok. I think I am verging on one of those days today actually. I am scared I don't have the energy to do this with Nina too. We need to stick together, none of us are alone in this. Deep down you still have hope and that will shine through again soon. Tomorrow is another day. ((((HUGS))))Yes, I felt that way alot for wks when I found out but then I found this forum and it has helped me have hope with everyone's stories and advice so thank you everyone here, another way I keep my sanity!  Especially b/c my family will never understand besides my husband of course.I'm not saying that I don't get that way from time to time, I think we all feel that every now and then, but then I see my son and can't help but smile b/c he has come so far.
Yes, I think all parents feel this way at one time or another, believe it or not. My neighbors who I always thought of as having such normal lives, great kids, etc....well, this summer, things like a teen pregnancy, assault charge, tramautic brain injury...they are all second-guessing, and feeling less than hopeful. It's become apparent to me, that autim or not, life with children can be extremely challenging, heartbreaking, & crazy. You never know what's coming around the corner. I think having those hopeless sad days, it's just part of it. I try to stay on top of it (prone to depression), and dh is always on the look-out so I don't get truly depressed. I allow myself a pity party from time to time, it is helpful, I believe, so long as I wake up the next day & get on with things! You got some great advice here, especially like finding some time for YOU. I hope you are able to do something good for yourself soon. Keep your head up, you've got lots of people here that support you & really have a clue about what you're going through (I know that helps me, sometimes more than anything else in this world!!). Hope you are feeling better tonight. Take care.Yes, I do too. You are definitely not alone here. I also am prone to depression. You are having very appropriate feelings. If you find that they don't "pass" or change in more than two weeks, you should seek help for depression (which is a very real by-product of chronic stress). For now, I'm sending you a big and a whole lot of understanding.
Hope you feel better soon! ((hugs)) I know how you feel, but in a different way. I wouldn't call it "hopeless"---but more totally overwhelmed and wondering how on earth you are going to get thru it! I personally don't have time to "feel" hopeless or even stressed for that matter! I try to not "think" about it. I just live and get thru each day without looking too far into the future. But I can also say all of this---thanks to MEDS for me!!! Situational depression isn't just going away any time soon! "sigh" I feel that way sometimes. Just so powerless, like you just can't fix everything. I think it comes and goes. It's been really hitting me lately with more autism behaviors coming out in my son. :hugs: I hope you feel better soon. I feel like, with God, there is always hope.
YES! I DO remember those days and still have one every now and then..... I remember the days during those 3 years I gave up my teaching position to try to make a difference with Cammi because everything my husband and I read said that the more one-on-one time spent with her, the more she could possibly improve. I remember coming to the realization that our lives - my two NT daughter's too - would never be the same again. I remember thinking that we would never be able to go out to eat, to the mall, or on vacation again as an entire family because it just was easier to stay home with her. I remember crying with her so many times when she would cry and I couldn't help her because I didn't know what to do to help her. I felt so very helpless and hopeless more days than not. Here's the part you have to hang on to. Eventually the days of feeling hopeless start to be outnumbered by the days you can see the sun. And then suddenly you'll see improvements and think, "hey, what happened to that certain behavior?" - some of them will disappear and be gone just out of the blue. Some will be replaced by other "behaviors" but most won't. The worry, frustration, and effort you have put into your baby WILL begin to pay off. You may not see it on days like you had today but be assured -- IT WILL HAPPEN May the advice you get here on this forum bless you as it has me and may your guardian angels pick you up tonight and rock you lovingly to sleep. Please know there are people who care about you and what you're going through - even though we can't see or touch you, we're all bonded here by our experiences and our precious/precious special little people. Keeping you in my prayers....... Teresa
Hey, you are not alone in feeling that way, as I suppose this thread demonstrates really well! I don't have hopeless days, exactly, but there are days when I get really overwhelmed by everything. I worry by nature, and this tendency has really only gotten amplified by Jason being diagnosed autistic. I worry about all kinds of things with him, and I also worry about how this will affect my other sons, now and in the future. It sounds dumb, but I think sometimes that I worry too much about things I shouldn't, things I can't really control, and that really gets to me at times. I worry, because I always feel like parenting is something that doesn't really come naturally to me. Loving my kids is easy, but being a good parent is tough, I think. I have high standards for myself and my DH, and I always feel like I'm falling short. It's frustrating, and really depressing, because the stakes are so high, kwim? Definitely none of us are along in that feeling. But I gotta say, I felt more hopeless when I didn't know what was wrong. When I knew he was different and I needed to get him help. That was so scary to finally realize my child wasn't normal and what my husband and myself were going through at the time, both of us put our heads in our hands like, OMG this is really awful. Since he has received the help he needs and has really improved on some of his issues, I now have hope that all of us will get through this. I worry all the time and most certain times when he is in a place where he is acting out or like going to the dentist, [which I have to do this year] knowing that I probably won't be able to calm him down is worrisome and depressing. School evaluations always get me in knots, but my hope level is has been renewed with knowing what's wrong and now dealing with it. I think it's important to know I have felt this way about all my kids. Some things seem never ending, and then they do. The biggest helper is to drastically change the routine. Like, go away for the weekend or something. When you get back, you can start all over.oh yes. There are days I think we can beat the world and days I feel the world has beaten us. I think its perfectly natural. Hang in there. Hang in there - Mega mega hug Autumn I think all of us get these feelings - My SIL is handicapped too and has seizure disroder so someday we will be takingcare of her as well - and I start feeling really bleak - but I try to snap myself out of it I have to say my more predominant negative feeling is that we are not doing enough and that valuable time is slipping by!  |
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