Modelmekids has a dvd on conversation skills that helps in this area...it is done with real kids and models how to converse with peers, take turns,,recognise when the other person is bored or not not interested:) It had older kids in it probably @ 8-10yr. old but Sarah still liked it:) I would keep doing what you are doing too..keep reminding him that he already knows your answer and you will only do it once so he better pay attention:) Good luck!
YOU ALL ARE AWESOME!!!!
I feel like such a bad mom! Now I know I'm not alone in my frustration. The biggest problem is that my husband and I are both masters of Reading a Writing and I've even taught interviewing skills and public speaking, so this problem is so foreign to me.
I'm going to look into all of it! THANK YOU!
Wow - great social story. We can always count on you Norway Mom!
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=12693&am p;KW=grapes+tomatoes
There are several conversation-related social stories under the following forum topic:
http://www.autism-pdd.net/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=14154&am p;KW=sample+social+stories
Here is one example:
How to Have Successful Conversations
When talking with other people, I want them to feel ___________________. Most of my conversations will be with people I know like Mr. David, Miss Susan, Mr. McCormick, Mom, my sisters, Miss Rebecca, Miss Michele, or other friends and family.
Having conversations is not always easy. I want people to listen to me, so I need to listen to them. Good listening means thinking about what the other person is saying, instead of what I want to say next.
There are things I can do to have successful conversations.
Most conversations are about one main topic and maybe some little topics that are connected to the main topic. Connected means that they link together kind of like the chain links in a fence. I need to stick to the main topic or other small topics that are connected.
I want the other person to feel happy that they are talking to me. If I ask questions and listen carefully to the answers, others will feel happy. Successful conversations mean that some of the time I answer questions and some of the time I ask questions. The person I’m talking to also gets to ask questions and listen carefully to my answers.
Most conversations are short or medium, not real long. I need to pay attention to clues that will tell me when the other person wants to stop talking. These clues might be looking at their watch or turning their body a little bit away from me. Another clue that the conversation is about to stop is when the other person says words like, “Well, it’s been,” or “Next time,” or “I’m so glad.” People might not always say these exact words but maybe something similar. These kinds of words are a clue that the conversation is about to be finished.
Most of the time, I should finish a conversation by saying words like, “It was good to talk to you.” Or, “Maybe we can talk about this again another time.” Or, “Ok, good-by.”
When I remember to stick with the main topic, ask questions and listen, and pay attention to clues for when to finish, many people will think I’m a smart and nice person. I feel good when people like to talk with me and think I’m smart and nice.
May 4, 2006
This social story was written by Susan Ward, following the ideas of Carol Gray from her website about social stories.
Source: http://www.olderchildadoption.com/parenting/socialstorysocia lskills.htm
My son also does this, I'll ask him a question you know to get him off the subject and he's talking away and I have to repeat his name til I get his attention and I'll ask him again, it works sometimes if he's interested enough or sometimes he'll answer and get right back on the same conversation! Heh, well.... your kids already have a head start in this area, i had a very difficult time, but was more quiet on occasion or would not even join in the word exchange. When I did... ya akward, i did not feel it but im sure others thought i was strange. Anyways i was never taught how to do it, so i wont know how you can teach something, tho i doubt you really can, it was, for me something i picked up on in the teen years all by myself, just copying what others did, their demener, and applied it, so after a few more years of trial and error i seem indistinquishible from anybody else.Quote KimC
"He wants to have the same the same conversation ALL THE TIME."
I experience that with my 8 yr old Daniel too. We have to have this dialogue in the car every day when we go to school and when we return. It's become a routine that he JUST MUST HAVE to keep things well... I indulge with him but when I'm in the mood I also throw in a question to stimulate an answer from him. It's more of getting him engaged in a different scenario... and letting him talk.
Yet at times too... I NIP IN THE BUTT and SHUT HIM UP... but sometimes it's good coz he then learns to understand reasoning behind an action. Like when I was having a sore throat and had difficulty talking... I explained, "Papa is sick" "So Papa cannot talk".... He got it and it was one of the MOST PEACEFUL journey in the car... free from the rethorical dialogue !!!
He also struggles with conversation. He is very one sided and wants to talk about animals all the time, facts, stastictisc, etc. Not interesting to everyone. So because he is comfortable with this he talks in circles. He wants to have the same conversations ALL THE TIME. I've gotten to a point where I stop conversations when he starts this. He has to begin to understand that altough this is a form of finding security, because he can predict it. I am tired of the "Mommy what's your favorite large wild cat?" He already knows: cheetah. I told him the last time he did this that I'm not going to answer this question again. I worry that he will push people away with this tactic. I know it is his way of communicationg and feeling competant, but is there another way to help him in this? Am I going about it wrong? The only way to help him change the problem is to help him find a new way and if I continue to have the same conversations over and over again I am only enabling his crutch of falling back on what he feels is a time when he was in contrtol and confident.
What to do?
We had this issue for a while and still occasionally do. My general response is, "What do you think?" and he responds with the correct answer. So I say - okay, if you know the answer, why are you asking the question? Questions are to find out information that you DO NOT ALREADY KNOW! I don't want him to stop asking questions - but do so when he wants to know the answer (and doesn't already).
I think a lot of this comes from the fact that we as parents, try to have a conversation with our child. Which often results in us asking a TON of questions in order to get a word or two out of our child. Then, they end up thinking this is how you have a conversation. So, we have stopped asking so many questions. And have started conversations out by making statements like, "Well, I did such and such today and it was really fun..." and then talk about it. Then say, okay (ds) it's your turn to talk about something that was fun in YOUR day. We're still working on this, but it is getting better.
I don't know if this is a recommended way to help or not - but it is working (at least a little!) for us...