Okay if there are guys reading this - it may be too much personal info for you. Fair warning!
I have noticed that every single month, about a week before my period starts, my ds gets really out of control. It's not that he doesn't do that at other times occasionally (like yesterday) but that week is almost always BAD. This past month was worse than usual (as was my period, by the way). My dh agrees with this - we have tracked it and it consistently is the same. I don't generally start PMSing and getting more impatient with things until about 3 days before my period. But it has gotten to the point where his behavior escalates my PMS to the nth degree. He just does all sorts of things that get under my skin - and he does it MUCH moreso at that time of the month than any other time.
We have noticed this for about a year and a half. At first I joked that he must be able to sense my hormonal changes - but now I'm seriously wondering if this could be true? At first I thought - well, maybe he is just reacting to my impatience at that time of the month. But then I realized that he is starting this behavior a good 3-4 days before I (and dh) can tell that I am PMSing. And his constant doing stuff to get my goat (at least that is how I see it - probably not what he's really doing) starts before I am PMSing. It becomes a vicious cycle as he does things that annoy me, I get upset, he does more things to annoy me, I get more upset and then I usually blow.
Maybe I need to get on hormones or something... I definitely need to change my diet and resume exercising (haven't found a place here that has child care within a 20 mile radius!). I know that will help. This month was the worst - there were days I just simply had to go and take a "mommy time-out" because I was seriously losing it! And my cramps lasted for 3 days as opposed to the usual one - which didn't help one bit!
Anyone else ever notice this? I know some people think their kids operate on the lunar cycle, but I know my period doesn't coincide with that. Any thoughts anyone?
[QUOTE=ShelleyR]you know how they say if you are around the same women long enough your cycles get closer together..??? [/QUOTE]
BTW - this is true. Dh has 3 sisters, they and his mom were all in synch when they lived together. One of his sisters has 17 year old twins and the three of them have been in synch every month since the girls started menstruating.
Me and oldest dd are @ a day of each other..my poor husband:) He gets forwarned to be nice or else!Funny...she actually is the more powerful of the two...I have never messed up hers...lol She IS the older sister though...lol
Karrie
Interesting that at least someone else has experienced this as well. I seriously have wondered if I give off some kind of pheromes as well!
This also occasionally happens when I'm ovulating. I know exactly when I am ovulating - I sometimes even get cramps on the side of whatever ovary is releasing the egg (I am NOT kidding!). I do sometimes get hormonal around that time as well - especially if I'm cramping and my diet is not good.
I guess this is all the more reason to get in better shape! Because when I am eating right, not drinking caffeine, sleeping better and exercising - I just feel so much better and I don't even get cramps!
I think all that stuff will have to wait until school begins, though...
Most of us have "civilized" our way out of responding based on primal instinct and being so in tune to the body chemistry changes, etc. of those around us to be that aware, but many who are highly sensitized - such as many of our children are - still respond biologically (and consequently behaviorally) to the changes in body chemistry someone else exudes. There's a reason aromatherapy works, even when we're not aware of it. Different races and cultures use seasonings in their cooking that causes changes in their body chemistry and scent - something that we subliminally react to without fully being conscious of it. If you're craving certain comfort foods prior to the onset of your cycle, particularly ones strong in garlic, onion, basil, or some other aromatic herb, you'll find that your skin/sweat taste (and smell) changes - the taste/smell of that strong herb comes through.
And yes, women's cycles can - and do - synch up, based on whose pheromones are stronger. I historically have a shorter cycle than most and - unfortunately - apparently the stronger pheromones, as most of the girls on my dorm wing in college wound up having shorter cycles by semester's end than they started out with and didn't know why... it's only my midwifery training and hindsight that made me realize I was the culprit! After my suitemates synched, it was a domino effect through the wing. My teenage daughters have both synched up with me since their transition to puberty. It's a pretty safe bet that #3 daughter will also. And yes, my ds Mr. B. gets more aggressive about a week-10 days before our times as well.
Diet and exercise can help even things out with PMS - particularly avoiding caffeine (chocolate unfortunately contains it
Wow - thanks AnamCara!
But now you've got me worrying. If my ds is more sensitive to this - am I going to have to REALLY watch him when he hits puberty? Like, will he be chasing after all girls who are ovulating?
Okay, note to self - think only about THIS year, think only about THIS year!
Thanks for the hint about red raspberry tea - I am going to try that for sure! I don't want to go on hormones, even though I just turned 39 and I'm at that age.
Yeah his puberty will be fun, here, too.
I wonder if we are discovering a sociobiological phenomenon?
I don't have that problem anymore (hysterectomy thank goodness), but my dd always got moody also. My mom always said that it was because she picked up on my discomfort and moodiness (which in turn affected her moods). Always made sense to me. I would ask a doctor about it. IMO I never paid attn. to this but will:) Very interesting~maybe exuhuding pheromones or something..you know how they say if you are around the same women long enough your cycles get closer together..??? I was on deproshots for years...wonderful~no periods at all for over 3 years!! I am full throttle right now and Sarah has been ever so quiet?? She usually is one to "shut down" instead of push my buttons...thats my dh job!But yes, I sit here and think--it's like he knows or even for some reason maybe going through PMS too, lol...I laugh, but in all seriousness, I have thought about this a lot.
lol snoopywomen! That really does sound like something that would be possible if they are sensitive to it as kids. I wonder why I never heard of this before?
That was really interesting AnamCara! Ive heard how womens periods become in sync with eachother but figured it had to be coincidence! It was all really fascinating to read about!
Oh and re: synchronous menstruation, I have a close friend 600 mi away and we have been in synch plus or minus 2 days, for ten YEARS. Except she is on the pill, now ...My two college roommates and I were in perfect synch for the 3 years we lived together!
My son has always been sensitive to my hormonal fluctuations! It's eerie. I've even tried to fake a happy attitude during PMS and it does not work---he's an emotional mess.
Anamcara did a great job describing it - I'm a believer.
I feel so blessed in that I NEVER ever in my life have had pms in any way shape or form - my docs say it is because I am a vegetarian?!?! who knows, but I like it. In reality I cant WAIT until periods stop completey - when is that by the way, do any of you know or are we all too young to know?I didn't have it until I was 21. Never had cramps before and then on Super Bowl Sunday my senior year of college - BAM! I was flat-out on the couch unable to even watch the game! Finally, someone gave me some Motrin (which I honestly had never had before) and I felt MUCH better - still not great, but somewhat functional.
I think menopause can start anywhere from late 30s until early 50s. I'm not too young to know in that case. I don't know when they stop, I think everyone is different, but I never had pms until I was 40. It's all in our hormones they get wacked the older we get. At least thats what my mom and sisters in laws say. Oh GREAT! More to look forward to then...
YOU better duck buddy...
Karrie
[QUOTE=karjab30][QUOTE=boobear]Hah !!! I MUST PUT IN my view on this...
I'm a guy by the way... in case some of u newbies don't know me yet. And YES, my dear wife does get more edgy with Daniel when it's near her period. Days preceeding her period will sometimes... Note;SOMETIMES coincide with periods (No pun intended!!) of extreme agitation towards Daniel. In plain simple language, she gets angry easily during this time...
So... PMS... Myth or Fiction ???
[/QUOTE]
WHy would you ask if it is myth or fiction when you just stated above that your wife gets edgy near her menstrual cycle? Doesn't that seal the deal so to speak that it IS real...or true..etc... LMAO....maybe I'm just hormonal right now....
Karrie
[/QUOTE]
OOPS !!! I meant to say FACT or FICTION !!!
ANYWAY.... there are times it's just a MYTH... isn't it ???
I haven't had a period in almost a year now...I'm using an IUD. No other form of birth control has ever done that to me, and I'm grateful. I used to have horrible periods. I never had PMS, either, so I don't have any direct experience with my kiddos reacting to the changes that brings. Interesting thing to consider, and it makes some sense to me.
I haven't noticed it myself, but it sounds plausible. I thought I'd see if anyone had studied this. I found plenty of stuff that connected mood/affect and other people's hormones, but nothing specific to autism.
I wonder if it's actually the testosterone level he's reacting to? Testosterone is lowest at the beginning of the cycle and highest at ovulation, according to the sites I saw today. I also seem to remember that it's higher during PMS -- I think I read that many years ago because I've always blamed testosterone for my PMS tendency to "blow up" at anybody who bugs me (behaving more "aggressive").
boobear - See, the thing is - when this starts, I am not PMSing. Ds starts acting out more and exhibiting more autistic symptoms about 2-3 days BEFORE I even start PMSing. My dh agrees with this - it is not me reacting more angrily to him initially - it is his behavior that starts me reacting. Initially, I am patient but after a couple of days, the patience starts going away as my PMS kicks in.
This is interesting. I wonder if this is true for him - that he does actually sense my hormones changing and reacts to it. Well, glad to know I'm not COMPLETELY crazy (only a little bit!
I'm a guy by the way... in case some of u newbies don't know me yet. And YES, my dear wife does get more edgy with Daniel when it's near her period. Days preceeding her period will sometimes... Note;SOMETIMES coincide with periods (No pun intended!!) of extreme agitation towards Daniel. In plain simple language, she gets angry easily during this time...
So... PMS... Myth or Fiction ??? [QUOTE=boobear]
Hah !!! I MUST PUT IN my view on this...
I'm a guy by the way... in case some of u newbies don't know me yet. And YES, my dear wife does get more edgy with Daniel when it's near her period. Days preceeding her period will sometimes... Note;SOMETIMES coincide with periods (No pun intended!!) of extreme agitation towards Daniel. In plain simple language, she gets angry easily during this time...
So... PMS... Myth or Fiction ???
[/QUOTE]
WHy would you ask if it is myth or fiction when you just stated above that your wife gets edgy near her menstrual cycle? Doesn't that seal the deal so to speak that it IS real...or true..etc... LMAO....maybe I'm just hormonal right now....
Karrie
proudofmyself - I'm a little confused. I don't have autism - my son does. And I'm talking about before I get PMS and how my son with autism seems to have more behavioral issues a few days before I get PMS. Could you describe what issues you had and the symptoms of PCOS? Thanks!
Anamcara - My periods have been getting just a HAIR shorter. I used to be very regular and be on a 28 day cycle. But, this last year I have noticed that once in a while it is 26-27 days at times. I never know - which is not fun to get surprised if it comes a day early!
Thanks for all the great info - I'm glad I started this post!
I'm sorry. My symptoms were Emotional Outbursts, Aggressive Behavior, and Mood Swings before my periods. I'd stab myself with pens. I pulled the skin off of my Mother's breasts, examples of violent behavior of What I've Done. I would insult and put others down with my comments. It wasn't me.
Wow! So those are symptoms of PCOS? I have mood swings for sure and certainly am irritable - but I definitely don't get violent and USUALLY not insulting (well, except to my dh occasionally! ). Thanks for sharing![QUOTE=snoopywoman]Anamcara - My periods have been getting just a HAIR shorter. I used to be very regular and be on a 28 day cycle. But, this last year I have noticed that once in a while it is 26-27 days at times. I never know - which is not fun to get surprised if it comes a day early!
[/QUOTE]
I just read a review article -- because about 8 yrs ago my cycles shortened up too. This is typical of perimenopausal age -- liek the last 10 yrs before meno. Do not know your age, but just thought you'd like to know it is probably not something abnormal!
I just turned 39 on Sunday - so I'm right in that time period. I had heard that they can shorten up some - it's just a little frustrating! Not happy to know that PMS can increase though - yikes!Look into pmdd I thought I had pms but I think I have this insted. Evening primrose oil helps this also. Many moms/daughter's cycle around the same time. I am less patient dureimg my cycles. I eat alot more and even urinate more then also. More tired also. My cycles are/never been regular . I am almost 40 so I hope menopause starts soon. I had a tubel also after son was born. If my thyroid med. is off my cycle is off also. The kids say I become like CLARILA DIVIL!Evening primrose oil helps, but flax oil is CHEAPER. Also, CALCIUM and Vit D supplementation!
Yeah thyroid makes a huge difference too. Gotta keep TSH low enough or UGH!
[QUOTE=NorwayMom] I wonder if it's actually the testosterone level he's reacting to? Testosterone is lowest at the beginning of the cycle and highest at ovulation, according to the sites I saw today. I also seem to remember that it's higher during PMS -- I think I read that many years ago because I've always blamed testosterone for my PMS tendency to "blow up" at anybody who bugs me (behaving more "aggressive").[/QUOTE]
Actually, NorwayMom, you're not off the mark at all. Yes, the changes in hormone levels (estrogen versus testosterone) is what triggers ovulation, and since that occurs the week or so prior to the onset of menstruation, that's one of the triggers in libido and aggression. Males are territorial primarily because of their own testosterone levels and their response to the same around them, so it stands to reason they'd pick up on their female family members' testosterone levels. Primally speaking, there is only a short window of time for fertilization of the egg, so everything on those biological levels between male and female of the species is geared toward conception...including aggression. Ever notice how a "good argument" can end in great sex with your partner?
As far as the menopause question goes, actually there is a phase that begins anywhere from mid-30s (or early 30s in some women) to mid-40s called "Perimenopause" and has several menopausal-type symptoms, including gradually-increasing hormone levels (resulting in increased PMS), eventually sliding into full-blown menopause. During perimenopause, you can occasionally skip a cycle, or find it changing (getting longer or shorter), experience increased moodiness, and begin to find that absolutely unwanted "hair on your chinny-chin-chin!"
For those of us with multiple children, if you think about it, you'll probably notice that with each subsequent child when your cycle returned, you found yourself experiencing symptoms of PMS and hormone changes you hadn't before. Childbirth, and all of the resulting changes in hormonal levels both during pregnancy and after birth increase a woman's sensitivity to those changes. For some, they might find their cycles easier if they had problems before ever having children; for others, the opposite is true, and those not previously afflicted with cramping, cravings, or crabbiness now find they experience all of those "blessings". (I've apologized profusely to my sister in recent years for all the fun I poked at her when we were teenagers!
All that being said, I am not at all surprised that our children, who are sensitive to all the sensory input around them in their environment, are also sensitive to our changes. And Snoopywoman, having a son in a similar place to yours, the question of how to handle things down the road has certainly come to mind! I'm hoping that with all the social stories and social skills development we will be working on between now and then, it will help put some self-regulation skills in place that he can use to NOT cross the line where he is perceived as a threat to some girl he finds really interesting. Either that, or his older sisters will pound it into him, much as my sister and I did to my younger brother.
It wasn't psychiatric related...if you're still having menstrual cycles from what a M.D. told me, you may want to talk to an Endocrinologist. Not a lot of those things can be related to Autism.
Yup - you better duck! Remember how I started out this post as perhaps for females only? This was not meant to be discriminatory - but just because it is hard for men to understand PMS since they don't go through it... And some get grossed out by any talk of periods, etc...