Second Guessing | Autism PDD

Anyone else go through this? I've 2nd guessed before...but not like this.
Ever since we met w/ the school a few months ago, & they just wanted to
discuss her high IQ score, forget her MR range adaptive & social-emo
scores etc., I am 2nd guessing so much. They contradict what the docs &
therapists have said, and challenge so much of what dh & I see/think w/
regard to dd.

Since that meeting in May, I'm always thinking I'm in the wrong. In
the meantime, we've gotten the official Autism dx & all...but still. The
meeting (follow-up) is fastly approaching. I told dh I just wanted to
forget the whole fight & keep dd at home. We had a big talk tonight, and
it seems like I'm overlooking a lot & have gotten to where most times I
don't necessarily 'see' the autism in dd. Does that make sense? All the
screaming, odd behaviors, stims, etc. have become normal to me...it took
this conversation tonight & a lot of directness from dh to make me realize
dd still has all the issues & all. Part of it too--it's getting HOT here, so
we barely go out, hence not seeing any other 3 year olds out there, and
also not challenging dd or seeing her in uncomfortable/new
environments.

I'm going nuts over this though. Honestly, if we'd never met this school
team & I heard all their views, I don't think I'd have all this 2nd guessing &
self-doubts. I mean, I sit here doubting these docs that we trust & have
sought out. I doubt my own thoughts. GRRRR!!!

Not really sure if there's a point to this post. Just wanted to get my
thoughts down...hope to make sense of things & see things as clear as dh
does. Perhaps it's a maternal thing to try & keep my sanity or see the
best of things? Who knows!? I want to keep a true perspective of dd, her
abilities, & what she needs w/ regard to education. I do know this, I feel
strongly that placing her in a regular preschool program would be like
throwing her to the wolves. Yes, lots of rambling! I feel better. Thank
goodness for this board! I came her immediately after our chat--to get
some more insight & try and quiet this voice of doubt (thanks to the
school!).

I know what you mean when you say you don't always "see" your dd's autism. When you live with it 24/7, it starts to become "normal." For me, the reality check has always been going into a classroom full of my son's NT peers.

At my youngest son's last IEP, the team was really upbeat about his abilities. While it was nice to hear complimentary things about my child, it also made me wary. Unfortunately, when a school talks so positively about a child and their abilities, it can mean they are going to pull back on the services they offer.

I would be concerned about the fact the school is so focused on your dd's high IQ, and ignoring her MR range adaptive, social emotional scores, etc. I would also be nervous about them contradicting what your doctors have told you. You want your daughter to receive whatever services she needs at school. Don't let them weasel their way out of offering services just because she has a high IQ.

I'm always 2nd guessing myself. I think it's just part of being a concerned parent. Good luck to you at your next meeting!

I too have days where I don't "see" autism...and that brings along a lot of second guessing. Especially because in our case Mason has brain damage and at first was told it wasn't autism because of that. So I seem to always be second guessing myself.

I agree with what WiMom wrote about not letting the school get away with not giving her services because of her IQ, if that's what is going on there.

Good luck with your meeting!

I think it is normal to us because we get so used to them...I get reality biting me in the hiney everytime she is around other peers or family members.

I see so much of her reactions so typical of what I would do too in the same situationo...so it hard to discern what the heck normal is anymore..I forgot!

I ask myself and therapists and MDs (not dev peds) all the time, my cliche question:

"When does a personality trait become a symptom?" And nobody answers.