am i a jerk???? | Autism PDD

Hi, My 6 year old son aidan is diagnosed pdd nos. he is starting school on wednesday. his dad and i were divorced over the summer, and he didn't get to go on vacation or anything over the break. so a couple months ago dad tells me that he has a conference in MAUI and that he will pay for me and my son to go. problem: it is during the second full week of school. but I checked the school attendance policy and it says that i can request up to 5 days off for him.  so i made sure to talk to the principal and do all the paperwork for it well ahead of time.  and she was fine with it.
then i made what was apparently a MISTAKE and talked to his teacher and the counselor about his PDD NOS diagnosis. Now all of a sudden i'm some kind of selfish monster who is neglecting her son by TAKING HIM TO MAUI. and making him miss the second week of first grade. so when they thought he was normal it was fine, but now that they know the diagnosis i'm some kind of irresponsible jerk????
arrrrgghghghghgh!
it is too late to cancel the flight so the principal said she'd go ahead an approve it, but real grudgingly, the whole while implying how SELFISH i am. selfish?? i'm doing this for him so he can have something resembling a vacation. i sure as heck don't have the cash to take him on one, and he's been so excited about it.
anyways, i feel so rotten thanks to that lady.
does anyone seriously think i am going to ruin his whole school year by taking him to maui???
sigh. well, th anks for any replies!
becky

Becky...For God sake...DON"T LISTEN TO THOSE PEOPLE!!   A vacation in Maui WILL BE GOOD FOR HIM!!   Think of all the social oportunities he will have to work on! From making good eye contact with the flight attendant to talking to the people that run the place that you will stay at. Resturants and the people that work there. etc etc...the list goes on and on.  It will be great.  I am soooo excited for you!   Let us know how it goes ok??   Wish I were comming with!!!

Karrie

My personal experience is, that the more and varied experiences my son has, the more he improves! He talks more, he seems more interested in his environment, he's less angry, his behaviour improves etc. You are actually doing him a favour.that was what i was thinking. and best of all, i thought maybe we could do some neat project and SHARE it with his classmates. i was thinking that maybe in that way it would help him with the new school.  he attended a different school for kindergarten, and transferred here after i moved out. my ex and i have joint custody. but he's been exposed to the new school all summer because his ymca camp was there.
i just feel so guilty. the principal did approve it, but did so in a way that i feel like a total jerk.  "Well can't you reschedule? It really would be best to think of your son."
arrrgh! i thought i was! i have NO money. if he doesn't go to hawaii now, who knows when? well, they'll just h ave to deal with it. i hope this doesn't affect how they'll deal with us the rest of the year!

Some go their whole lives and grow old and still never get chance like this!

I think he will make memories that will last forever!! Take lots of pics:) Life is just as educational if not more..surely more meaningful:) Dont let them get you down..they are just jealous!  I am!  They are wishing they were on that flight. If you keep your child in a bubble than he will never get better. You need this vaca too. Enjoy it and you are not selfish.

ENJOY YOUR VACATION!

He needs a chance to be a kid too.  A break is good for everyone...and like everyone said there is plenty of learning opportunities for him out there!

Don't feel guilty!  I'm mean really, what were they going to teach him during the second week of school?  Please! - He's going to learn more on the trip than he will sitting in a classroom.  Traveling is one of the best learning opportunities you can give your child.    Go to Maui.  Don't give school another thought.  They need to get over themselves.  The world won't tilt on it's axis if your child misses a week.  Have a great vacation!No.....but it sure sounds like the principal is

Aloha, Renee

not true.. let see.. i got married... and moved to japan... and had a baby all in 2 years.. and my son is doing ok. its been a rough ride. but he adjusted. We just had to ride with him.GO,HAVE FUN, ENJOY YOUR SON! YOU MIGHT NOT GET A CHANCE TO DO THIS AGAIN.

Its HORRIBLE to me that they are making you feel guilty

Enjoy your vacation

[QUOTE=Carters Mommy]They are wishing they were on that flight. If you keep your child in a bubble than he will never get better. You need this vaca too. Enjoy it and you are not selfish. [/QUOTE]

I totally agree with this quote. BOTH of you need this vacation and to hell with what that lady says or thinks of you. He is YOUR child. Go on your vacation, enjoy yourself and please take plenty of pictures. GOTS TO HAVE PICS!!
thanks for the support! i feel like less of a jerk now. today is school open house. he is REALLY hyper this morning. geez. the start of the new year is so stressful!
anyways, we will certainly be going to maui, we already have the tickets and everything.

He might actually NEED the break after a week of school - did they think about that?? Easing into a transition - there's a thought. All I can say is - I think it is great that you can go and have backup (Grandpa) to have fun in the sun.  It is YOUR child!! You get to decide!! Duh! I agree with everyone else on here...GO to Maui...The school should be ashamed of themselves for making you feel bad about taking a trip of a lifetime with your son. Last year, we took savannah to Jamica for 4 days, and she is Still talking about it now. This is a teachable moment for your son. if need be, ask the teacher if he can do a photo project, about it or something to tie it to school. As the others have said...This...is a trip of a lifetime, the opportunity to go to Hawaii doesnt present itself everyday.

I think that is GREAT and the school is just being ... what we in the library biz call "tea-drinking bunheads!!!!"

I pulled T out of Kg for TWO WEEKS to go to China with me (As my sole companion) to pick up her little sister and it was DA BOMB!  She was uptight about the food, but it was a definite lifetime ADVENTURE for her and she is still talking about it a LOT, a year later!   And YES it made her more flexible and open to different things and people, if not food, exactly

GO TO MAUI and damn the torpedos!!!!

Enjoy Maui - you and he both deserve it!  If guilt is still getting to you, check with his teacher(s), pick up the work they'll be doing in class, and work on it a little bit at a time over the time he's out.  Bet he gets it all done, and you and he have fun in the process! 

As far as being selfish - NOT!  One thing that principal failed to mention, and probably the SOLE reason for her "selfish" argument - the district gets paid for every day your son is in class...they've just lost a week's worth of the money his place in the body count brings in.

Have a blast!

Maui wowie!!! They're just jealous (me too).  I say go since this is an opportunity that doesn't come around everyday.  Have fun!!! 

Have a great time!

Nobody knows their child better then their Parents, so if you think it would be good for you both, then go. trust yourself not themI hope you have an awesome trip. The school officials will be eating their words I hope!No way are you selfish! there will be lots of social skills that he can work on and school will be there, it's just a wk! I could see you being selfish if your son really did not want to go but he does so I don't think you have anything to feel bad for, go have fun with your son and have an awesome vacation!Can I stow away in your luggage? Goodness, I can't stand it when people act
holier-than-thou...

It'll also give you a much-needed charging of your batteries. The Aloha
spirit has a way of doing that!!!

Enjoy and ALOHA! Please eat a pineapple for me!
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