Awwww....sorry you had such a rough day!
Hope tomorrow is better for you.
And I just have to add that you are very strong in still trying to let other kids come over and play when the day already started off so rough...even though it didn't work out the way you wanted, you at least still tried...I would have probably said...sorry, not today!
I would agree that something was in the air. Carter was up and down all day. School starts this week and errands had to be ran. However, 3 diff places in one day might have been to much for him. I think life would be easy if he could tell me he was hungry! He says so many words he basically can repeat about 50% of what I say to him however, the child could not start a conversation if he tried. Hi Mommy is all he says that would make me give him a hello back. Everything else.The rest is all just random words that do not piece together. He was saying "Hi" to a poster of a person today at Great Clips. Than he would laugh to himsef. Yes people were watching. (Did I mention he did this 6 x's)
I must say you controlled it way better than I did. I went off the deep end today. It is better as I got to see a movie to "disconnect" However I thoght of my kids through most of the show. Hope you have a better day tomorrow.
If it happens again tomorrow just put them outside and turn the hose on them to cool off their tempers:)
((((Snoopy))))) Hey getting pretty good at this...lol
Karrie
Yeah, the hot weather isn't helping any... WHEN does school start?
I actually couldn't get my dd (who is NT by the way!) off ds. Pulling her toward me would have resulted in him losing a great deal of hair. But, if she starts doing that to me - I will try it! I don't think I could convince ds to try pulling her toward him and if he did, I'm not so sure I'd like the outcome!
I think she is needing some extra attention as she is getting upset that all the boys (ds and the twins) are going to kindergarten without her. I may have to use a full-body restraint on the first day they go (and maybe the first week!) to keep her from trying to get on the bus with them! She has her little backpack (for pre-school) and she keeps telling me she is going with them.
Dh had to wake up early and go to work - before everyone else was up. So ds didn't get to say good-bye to him - this started the day off on a sour note for everyone because both kids like to wave good-bye to daddy and at least see him in the morning. So, by 7:00 - I have two grumpy children.
I should preface this by saying that yesterday, while I was out - apparently dd decided to BITE ds really hard - she left huge marks (an entire mouthful) on my ds' arm. So, I think they were already not having pleasant feelings toward each other this morning.
The kids fought non-stop this morning, so I got absolutely nothing done. They settled some after lunch. I had tried to give them a snack in the morning but they were too grumpy to even do that - and I knew part of it was that they were hungry (tired, too I imagine!).
Then, my dd pulled my ds' hair really hard and I had to actually spank her bottom to get her off him (not my finest moment but she would NOT let go of his hair and I was really worried what he was going to do to her in retaliation!). I don't know what is going on with her right now - clearly she is having some anger issues!
The twins came over around 1:45 and I just was in no mood to have them here. But, I thought it might help ds to settle down and it did for a while. I warned the mom that we had had a rough day ahead of time. Well, around 2:30 the twins wanted ds to go back to their house to play. I told them they needed to clean up all the toys they had gotten out (you cannot believe how many toys they can get out in a matter of half an hour!). The one twin said he didn't want to - which of course rubbed off on ds. He said he didn't get the toys out, so he shouldn't have to clean up. I asked him if he played with the toys? Well, yes. Then he needs to help clean up. In addition, that is part of teamwork and we all work together. He started to get really snotty and I told him he needed to go sit on the stair for talking to me so disrespectfully. THAT'S when he lost it. FULL-BLOWN meltdown - right in front of the twins. I knew it would happen some day. The twins didn't really realize what was going on. I told them they needed to leave and they didn't budge. I had to tell them four different times that it was time to go home and ds would not be going with them. They kept trying to talk to him and I told them - "no, he isn't acting nice right now. You can't talk to him." I do the same thing if my dd is in time-out as well - I tell them they can't talk to her.
I left ds downstairs telling him he needed to clean up the mess by the time I got back downstairs (he was settling down and just BEGGING me not to send the twins home). I made sure they got home (I also brought dd up so that we had no problems there!). Ds was mostly done cleaning up by the time I went back down (I gave him a while). He needed some help figuring out where things went - so I verbally told him and I did put a few things away myself. Dd helped as well.
I should have also mentioned that I told the kids this morning that dh would not be home to say good-night to them this evening because of him going to the memorial of his former co-worker's husband in our old town. This obviously didn't sit well with either child as they hadn't seen daddy this morning either. They talked to him on the phone several times today, however.
Anyway, I had to call the twins' mom and say, "Well, ds has been having a rough day as has dd. They're not used to daddy leaving and that, in addition to getting back from a whirlwind trip - they just are really grumpy." And, I left it at that. I think I will have to tell her about ds' diagnosis rather soon...
Anyway, dd kept bugging ds to the point where he was screaming "Stop looking at me! I don't want her to even LOOK at me!" Don't know why she has chosen to start being so mean to him (sometimes she is REALLY nice, I should add). Many times today I had to go intervene because I heard ds saying loudly, "Stop! Please stop!" And she was just doing whatever she could to antagonize him.
Well, she is only 3 and I can't expect them to never fight. But today, of all days, when I had no support - I hoped it would be better. I didn't want to dump all this on dh after his really trying, emotional day - so thought you guys could hear it instead. I feel better already!
My son used to pull hair. I could get him to let go really fast by placing my hand over his and pushing it toward my dd head. His finger would open an flatten out. Same with bitting. Instead of pulling away I would pull him towards me. I saw his teacher do that when I dropped him off at school and he really did not want to see her that day and was letting her know the best way he could at the time.
Me too! I should say that it was a good thing I wasn't PMSing or I might have gone off the deep end!
Another thing that happened yesterday - which now that I think back was probably the catalyst to all of this... My ds bought a beach ball at a garage sale last week for 25 cents. I'm trying to teach money management - so when we go to a garage sale, he and dd each get .00 to spend at all the sales. So, he gets to choose what he wants to buy. He wanted this beach ball in the WORST way. We saw it driving up as a little boy had been playing with it and it got away and rolled into the street. Both my kids were yelling to me, "Rescue it mama! RESCUE IT!" So, I did. Since we "rescued" it, ds decided he HAD to buy it. Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but yesterday it popped (I'm failry certain my dd SAT on it!
Usually both kids will tell me they are hungry but if they are so upset from the get-go, for some reason they will not do that. Perhaps they felt somehow I was responsible for the beach ball popping even though I was not in the room at the time? I had forgotten to put the stupid thing away because it's not even supposed to be IN the house!
Anyway, I'm hoping for better this morning. My dh told me that ds is in a better mood. I've been giving him some space and time alone - hoping that helps. But, I better go interact with him. It's a delicate balance - he needs SOME time alone in the morning, but if given too much he starts to get in a bad mood...
Hectic day - but you sounded totally together yup I would not guilt myself over the spanking either - Plus all kids have meltdowns - NT or Spectrum Well, if you read my PMS thread - you'll find I'm not always together!I loved the PMS thread and thanks for bringing it up, BTW!
Well, honestly spanking was the only thing that got her to let go of his hair. If I tried pulling her, a huge chunk of his hair was likely to come too! She had a FIRM grip on it and she was in one of those meltdown-type episodes where she could NOT listen and was crying so hard she probably couldn't hear me anyway! This is a totally new behavior for her (besides the biting incident) and I'm hoping it stops soon. She is NT, so hopefully it will!Emerald -
I ALMOST said no to the twins. But, they pretty much just came right in when I opened up the door and started playing (they're pretty comfortable here!). So, I thought to myself - well, how bad can it get?
This morning, ds and dd went down there today and I heard ds giving her a lecture about not taking out all the toys because he was too tired to clean it all up again!
My two older kids are home with a fever (the tail end of one in both cases) today, and I am hoping to just get through without any crappy behavior!
I think you used spanking VERY appropriately, BTW. Sometimes it is truly the only way to get their attention and prevent further harm. I think it has been a bit TOO stigmatized in recent decades.