I really need to get my stuff together. | Autism PDD

I know what you mean cause I have been feeling the same way myself :-)

Flylady is a real saver!

Lol, I do flylady already! I just keep getting off track with it. I need to go back and start over with the babysteps. (If I did flylady consistantly, I think it would change my life and that's my plan) It's not that I've been neglecting my son, it's just that I haven't been working on all the issues I should be. We just started too, so I have to cut myself a little slack. I have been doing some of the aba stuff with him, but just not being consistant like I should. Todays try at potty training was heart wrenching. He knew what he had to do to earn a monster truck and he was really scared. I hated to see him like that. He wasn't scared to sit on the potty, just scared to let the pee pee out. He let out a few little streams and then just started crying and even let out a few blood curdling screams. I'd let him off the potty, and he still had to go, so he'd just walk around crying. It was so hard for me, I didn't know what to do. Luckily it was almost bedtime so I put a pull up on him. He got his monster truck and was happy about that. What do you do when they are so scared. He is little (in certain areas) and it's hard to keep the pee in the potty. He also won't let me touch it and he won't either so he is afraid of getting pee everywhere. Marilyn, let me know if you want to do that. I'd be up for it. I would type out in bold letters what your main priorities are right now and put on fridge..it will keep you focused and honest:) There is tons to do and slow and steady wins the race:) Get er done:P You can do it. It has been hard for me to let the house cleaning go a bit. But, I think my son's progress in ABA has a lot to do with the fact that we follow through with it. It is actually easier on you later if you help him become independent. Sometimes, I know it is so much easier to do it for them. But, it is important for our kiddos to learn these new skills. Good luck!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

I very seldom hug but here goes....(((((Molly)))))

Karrie

Let me tell you something I discovered about myself and housekeeping. When my son was younger, I spent ALL my time trying to keep my house nice. I never seemed to make headway, either. It finally occurred to me that I cleaned all the time because dirt was something I could CONTROL, autism was not. The house seemed a perpetual mess despite my efforts and I think that was no mistake. If the house started to actually LOOK neat and clean, I would have to stop addressing IT and start addressing the autism more. When I realized this, I changed my ways. I saw that my housekeeping activities were stealing time from my son (something that's already occurred to you) and that no clean house was worth that sacrifice. However, I couldn't simply live with mess. So I found www.flylady.net It's been a lifesaver. I followed her instructions to the T. I THREW STUFF OUT! I limited the time it took to do the basics. I established an ironclad routine. Now, years later, I can be a bit loose with my routine because Flylady's methods are now a part of me. Having the house under "good enough" control and knowing I have the skills to fix messes pretty quickly and efficiently has taken that monkey off my back. I can pay attention to my son.

I know that autism is scary and heartbreaking and facing the facts day to day is hard. Use Flylady's list to make a routine that you do with your son. None of us was raised the way we must raise our ASD kids. We have to participate in their lives differently from the way our parents participated in ours. Please listen to the therapists and do EXACTLY what they say. You already know you must do this. Limit the time you spend wrestling with your house. This will pay off BIGTIME.

I really looked at things that I feel I am good at and can do with the
needed enthusiasm. I enjoy creative projects and messy stuff and so I do
a lot of messy sensory stuff with my son. I went through all our pictures
and enlarged faces with different emotional expressions and made my
ds a poster that we look at and talk about how to recognize emotions. I
enjoy his special interests and I have been indulging them but at the
same time use them to help with back and forth language skills.
I feel that there are so many things that we can work on with our kids.
Pick the ones that you enjoy and are good at or find creative ways to
make the ones your are not good at enjoyable for you.
Nothing is going to work - be it a diet, your marriage or your son's
therapy - if you lack motivation and are not able to find the joy and
excitement in doing it.

I think a good therapist readily recognizes the difficulty of parent compliance. Talk to your therapists and get some SUPPORT from them!

It was a huge frustration to us, when T was doing OT for her birth injury, to try to do JUST 15 minutes per day, of therapy with her. One of the biggest helps was that we kept it positive and fun, and she began to demand therapy from us! "I need my thepapy, she'd say. (Not a typo). See if your therapists can build in some motivations for you and Parker to complete your goals!

Oh! I love flylady...that's what I do. I also use the book HOME COMFORTS as a companion. Parker has been in ABA therapy for about 6 weeks. So far it seems like I haven't changed many of my behaviours that will help Parker. I have a hard time being consistant and following through with things. I haven't been working on potty training like I should or filling out the potty chart. I haven't been having him pick things up or get dressed himself like I should. I just get lazy and it's just easier not to do all that stuff sometimes. I guess I kind of got called on all the things that I let him get away with or don't work on. Alot of the things I am not working on are preventing him from moving forward. I really need to make him my priority and not cleaning house my priority. I guess I just needed a kick in the butt. We are starting potty training today and I know I'll be in for a lot of hard work but I just need to keep at it. Wish me luck.ya good luck, i could not put myself in your shoes, or my parents, but ya, we can be a handful while growing up, i know i got a little extra attention, and my mom had to stay home while my dad worked, no wayyyyy could they both work and leave me and my sister to, well... whatever, i needed mom, more then my sis cause its much harder to learn stuff sometimes, especally daily life skill tasks. Dont become to lazy, heh. I know with a little work, and the continued ABA (i have absolutly 0 clue what this is, but probably woulda benifited had it existed during my time).

Consistency is the best policy, i know had my mom not been consistent, their would be no way for me to, well... predict outcomes, how she would react to something, and thats soooooo important to us (well... at least me) i need predictability in everything (thats impossible) and feel lost without it. Its confusing for us (again... im only speaking my opinion, i cant speak for your son) and so this can cause regression, worsen behavior, make it less likly well learn how to do something, or take care of ourselfs, and at that age its critical to learn basic survival skills.

I know sometimes everyone needs a break, but u will be glad when hes a little older and doing much better, u just gotta get rollin now,

have a good night, i have to go to work now and do overtime all week, but i got my car fixed today, 0, heh, so i need all the overtime i can get, hehehe. Im sure no matter what goes wrong tonight with your training him, ill have a much worse night

good luck!

Wow, You just described me . I have a hard time staying on track also, for example my little picasso covered our scheduling board with marker over a week ago and i gave up on it, and haven't touched it since.

I don't know, My kids are my main priority, i just find it hard to be consistent. I wish i could give you some good advice but it looks like we are in the same boat.

I know exactly how you feel! Is the ABA overseer (whatever they're called) going to ask you what you've been doing? I think if I had someone to do that it would help me. I really need someone to get mean with me!

Today I was planning to work on potty-training. Well, I made it through 2 wet training pants, then I was tired of it and put the diapers back on. I need to try again tomorrow.

Maybe someone could be your accountability partner. Like email you every night and ask you how you did that day. That's what I need for sure! I could do that for you if you'd like. And you could do that for me, too!