[QUOTE=kristys]
I want C to...
...be independent.
...have a happy and fulfilling life.
...feel good about himself.
...accomplish all of the goals that he sets for himself.
[/QUOTE]
Ditto for my DS.
My son iss 16, so we're at the threshold of "tomorrow." Over the years, I've seen my goals for him eroded every, single year. Now before you feel pity, I have to say that my acceptance of his disability has grown in proportion to the loss of those former dreams.
When my son was 3 (1994), my goal was for him to be "over" his issues by kindergarten. By kindergarten (1996-1997), I was sure that once he read, his language would explode. He learned to read, but his language improved only marginally. As he went further into elementary school, my goal was to get him mainstreamed. Unfortunately, this was not something that was typically done with ASD kids back then in the late 1990's on LI, so although I was successful in getting him into "typical" classes, part time, the teachers were SO bad at including him, that it was a waste. Over the next years my goal was for him to get a high school diploma. Then NCLB came along and NYS made a REGENTS diploma with all its high stakes test a requirement, so my son can't get a HS diploma (tho he probably could in other states where not everyone is required to take college-bound courses like Biology and ALgebra and Geometry to get a simple HS diploma). As he entered HS, it became very clear that he would not be an independent adult. It took a long time to come to grips with this, but I have. I still have as my goal for him that he will hold some kind of job in the outside world, get to that job using public transportation and will live in some sort of supported situation without us (I'm hoping we can move and give him our house and that he can get a social worker and a roommate to live with him -- this is feasible). I want him tohave a full-time job, love his job, be successful at it, have friends, have a love interest, have recreational opportunities and not feel lonely. I want him to be able to accept our deaths when that comes and move on to a life of his own -- whatever that life might be. My secret dream is that he will fall in love and get married so that when I'm gone, he'll still have arms to hug him. I will be content if he is content. And I think that will happen.
This is the history of my dreams for him so far. Thought my long experience with this might be enlightening. Maybe yes ,maybe no, but it's here for those who want to read it.
[QUOTE=kristys]I want C to...
...be independent.
...have a happy and fulfilling life.
...feel good about himself.
...accomplish all of the goals that he sets for himself.
[/QUOTE] same here for my son Benny [QUOTE=ShelleyR]
My biggest goal now is for her to find a friend or buddy..girl/boy and form a bond that last longer than 10 minutes:)
[/QUOTE]All I have ever wanted is for my children to be happy with who THEY are. In what ever shape or form it takes.
If you ask me what I want for Nicholas:-
I want pretty much all the things that have been listed. But are these what Nicholas wants? As the years have passed, I have come to accept what I want (and I guess need) are not necessarily what Nicholas wants or needs.
Nicholas is happy with who he is. I consider my job done :)
With Lachlan my goal is the same (as it is for my daughter Ashleigh)
Mysh
eta: Listed above is LONG term. Short term for Nicholas - nothing. For Lachlan - to eat fruit :)
I just wanted her to talk..know we love her and know how to love back:)
Now she talks well and loves us dearly...and knows we love her dearly!
My biggest goal now is for her to find a friend or buddy..girl/boy and form a bond that last longer than 10 minutes:)
Hi everyone
I had a friend ask me, what is your goal for Devin? I thought that was a stupid question, until I had to stop and think of a answer
So what would your goals be for your child? Grandma to Devin 3yrs ASD / SID Wow, I've spent so much time focusing on get him through today, that I haven't spent too much time thinking about tomorrow. I would have to say that I have 2 main goals. First being that he can become independant. If he doesn't achive this, that he learns to trust someone else besides us for help, when he is older. I want C to... ...be independent. ...have a happy and fulfilling life. ...feel good about himself. ...accomplish all of the goals that he sets for himself.
with himself and can advocate for himself.
To find the right nitch in society where his skills can thrive.
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