I would say...try to ease him into new rountines..my son knows his way to certain places we are going to go..if I take a different route he freaks out..my older son had to take an art class for a week and it was on the way to my parents house. He screamed and through a tantrum as soon as I turned off the route. We went through this everyday until Friday on the last day of class he went from a screaming tantrum to a mild yell. Good Luck!
I suggest sameness as much as possible, unless you have set aside time for a possible meltdown, such as on a weekend or other less busy day. It looks like your son is fairly young, and this tendency can often improve on its own with age, so you may just want to give him his predictability now and slowly work up to throwing him a curve ball every now and then as he gets older.
Most books I've read say that a predictable schedule is one of the most important things when dealing with ASD children, as it lessens their stress and gives them a sense of security in a world where they have little control over anything. It certainly is recommended when teaching or doing various therapies with an ASD child, as it allows them to focus more on the lesson and not on worrying whether or not something "new" or "scary" will happen.
C isn't very rigid, so we mix it up. hmmm... well a routine growing up was not a big issue, cause my parents had a routine so I grew up not having a hard time as far as that. Later tho it was difficult, new job, new living conditions ect. Much of the time ppl seem to settle down into a scedual, a routine, and so much of the time (especally school age) its cool. Things should be changed up a little, like stated previously to help them understand things change in life (and i hate that it does myself). You cant help but settle into a routine during the school year, but during the summers, vacations and weekends is probably a good time to switch things up a bit, cause without school their is less stress, and you can be more flexible as far as what you wanna change perhapse.
Devin is a go with theflow kid he is not rigid about anything that I can think of
I thought of one thing, when working with a shape sortor the blue one has to be put in last
We gave in to her picky food issues and some things like avoiding loud crowded places..she was never rigid with routines but sometimes she wanted us to not talk or turn tv off in the middle of what we were watching..we wouldnt let her get away with this as it wasnt condusive to real world living:P
She still wants to be boss of when she goes to bed, bathe and clean up toys.. ect..no dice:P
If it is something that isnt going to impair her in life or at school then we compromise the best we can..she is so stubborn:)
Like Snoopywoman said...pick your battles. I let my son have some things the same way...things not worth the fight, like what pan I cook noodles in (yes, it matters
I change up things like our drive to and from school(any driving I do I change it up), bedtimes, therapy times and days....stuff like that. Major things that I can control, I control. It's the little things that make him happy I don't mind doing for him!
We keep bedtime rituals pretty consistent - even when we travel. We bring all loveys and some fave books to read as well. And we try to still have them go to bed at 7 p.m. (not always very successful at that - but we DO try!) and read stories.
Otherwise, I do not try to stick to rituals. During school, I guess it is pretty routine - get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, get backpack packed, get coat and shoes/boots on, wait for school bus. But, we have done so much changing up in our routines his whole life - he pretty much goes with the flow. However, he was never that rigid to begin with!
I have heard lots of parents encourage others to not have rituals/routines maintained. But, pick your battles. If there is something that you don't mind doing - like going the same way home every time (I chose to pick that battle) - then maybe that is one you can follow. But, I wouldn't have too many! Those are just my thoughts, though...
I think it also helps immensely to reduce the general stress level, otherwise trivial things will always be the "straw that broke the camel's back" and pushed him past his stress-tolerance level. Life got easier at our house when we learned how to identify and deal with our son's sensory issues and thereby lower his stress level. Frustrations with communicating are another common source of stress.
Good luck with everything.
I try to change things up. My son gets attached to routines very quickly and rigidly. The only routine I keep consistent is bedtime, because that matters so much to me too! In therapy, I have the therapists even change where they sit each session (floor, chair, on pillows, etc). My son is quite the puppeteer and I refuse to let him manipulate every situation. He still has meltdowns over little things all day long, but the meltdowns are getting shorter in duration. I agree about trying to change things up - just make sure you are pushing at the edges of the envelope rather than constantly stressing him out. The need for ritual, for us, has faded with maturity and language, but they still like to have their routines, esp. around night time. But you don't want to end up in a situation where the kid has everyone jumping through hoops and walking on eggshells all the time.
My son has meltdowns when the sameness or his routine is just a bit altered. I posted yesterday about meltdowns and the posts I received were helpful!
I am wondering though if I should try to keep the routines the same each time so he knows what to expect, or should I continually change things up a bit to ensure that he will "roll" with life as it continually changes?
He seems to get upset over the TINIEST things at night like the nightlite not being on or me not being ready for him to open the door to go outside, etc. He falls completely apart without warning and leaves me to cope with the fallout. Any input would be great :)