Wow, talk about making lemons into lemonade! I am VERY impressed with all you have been able to accomplish for your son. Please keep us up to date on how Tommy does this year!I am learning to be an advocate for Sarah too..I was way too nice last year:) It is hard for me because I hate confrontations so much but I will just have to toughen up..I just cant stand her falling through the cracks when the teachers can do so much more to help our kids! Good luck to you on using your voice:)
Here we are, two short weeks left before school starts. My Tommy has a had a pretty good summer and I dread the start of school.
Autism is something that our public school district is just starting to learn about. Pre-school was a little rough, but Kindergarten was a NIGHTMARE!! Kindergarten was also the year we got our official diagnosis. The principal of Tommy's Kindergarten just could NOT grasp any of the information we'd given her about Autism. I should point out that Tommy was NOT the only Autistic child in kindergarten that year. There was also Adam. Adam's mother was VERY instremental in helping US get our diagnosis and seek out information.
Adam is a non-verbal. Tommy speaks mostly in echolalia. Adam had a great year in Kindergarten because his teacher and aid took the time with him that was needed. But the principal felt that since Tommy was verbal, he should be able to understand instruction (sometimes 2-3 part) without extra help.
Art class was almost ALWAYS a melt-down because Tommy has very sensitive sensory isues, and the plastic disposable aprons the children wore drove him insane. Tommy also has very sensitive hearing and high notes on a piano can send him banging into walls. (All day on Tuesdays and Thursdays music class was in session for different classes right down th hall from Tommy.)
The principal tried everything to "get rid" of Tommy. She brought in an independant observer from the state to observe Tommy's behavior in hopes he could be removed. The observer asked to meet me in private before the school day started. The principal was NOT allowed in the room! (I still giggle at the look on her face when she was asked to leave the room.) The observer immediatley cut to the chase, and told me she was not only an idepenbdant observer, but was part of the Illinois Autism Project. By the end of the day she had a list for the principal of things that needed to be done differently! (Most things were tried for a day and dismissed)
I was constantly being called into the school, having to leave work and risk loosing my job, for every single minor offense. The worst day was when I was called into school because Tommy refused to color a picture of a SHEEP! He colored the feet black, the grass green but refused to color the sheep. (Sheep are white......DUH...I understood his logic completely!) The principal had instructed Tommy's aid to stand over him and allow nothing else until Tommy had completed his sheep. He would color the feet, the grass and stop. If she tried hand over hand he'd scream and rip up the sheet. Lunch had even been witheld. By the time I arrived Tommy's aid was in tears because she KNEW what she was being asked to do was not productive. That ONE little issue caused a meeting with most of the school board and a police officer. (I guess the principal thought it would intimidate Tommy, but Tommy's uncle is a police officer and well, it did NOT intimidate him....my son was actually told he would be taken to jail if he did not color that sheep!) The principal even tried to have Tommy commited to The Meadows that day. (a mental istitution!)
Two weeks before kindergarten mercifully ended I was called to school once again. I arrived at the kindergarten (once again having left work) to see Tommy being held against a brick wall outside. The principal holding one arm and foot and the aid holding the other (again with tears in her eyes.) I do not even recall what horrible offense Tommy had commited. A mother's rage took over!! (I should point out that I have a sister who works with spcial ed students, she teaches at a treatment and learning center and works with some of the WORST behavior cases in our state... and through her I KNEW that wall restrainsts are dangerouse as well as illegal!) I ended up screaming at the principal, and I'm sure I had a pretty bad potty mouth that day! I had completely HAD IT with her!!! I'm surprised I didn't hit her!!
Tommy's IEP was the very next day. I'd leaned a long time ago NEVER to walk into an IEP alone! And since Tommy's public education was at stake I came VERY prepared!! I brought along an educational advocate, my sister, my sister's boss (who has written MOST of the special education laws in our state) my mother, (a school nurse) Tommy's pediatrition, (obviously a very dedicated doctor to make time for this mess) A representative from the Illinois Autism Project, myself and Tommy's father (my ex-husband). I came armed with piles of books and magazine articles. It was by far MY most pwerful IEP!! On the school's side was the woman who wuld become Tommy's first grade teacher IF he was allowed to stay. This is a woman with the patience of a SAINT!! To make a long three hour meeting short, tommy was going to first grade!!
First grade was a DREAM come true!! Thanks to my constant hard work, a program was put into place for Autistic children in our district. research had been done, the staff at the new school LISTENED to ME!! Tommy got a Rifton Chair, a weighted blaket and a full time one on one aid. By the second week of school Tommy was going to the "regular" first grade reading class. He was also diagnosed as hyperlexic. Tests to gage his reading level were incunclusive, first testing at a 5th grade level, then at 7th, they just decided to keep him at a fist grade level to make sure he grasped the basics.
When it came time for the schol's annual Christmas program Tommy & I finally had our day in the sun!! The special ed classes had never participated in the Christmas Program before. Tommy had had two years of pre-school and a year of kindergarten and had never been on stage. Working closely with the school's music director as well as the students aids, our children participated in the program!!
If THAT wasn't enough to put me on cloud nine, The principal at the elementary building was ill the night of the program and had invited the principal from the kindergarten to take her place and welcome the parents and introduce the music staff. YEP..... EX-Principal greeted us at the door. Tommy looking resplendant in his brand new custom made suit (I made it from flannel due to his sensory issues). She was stunned that "those children" were oing to participate in a public program. I made SURE that she sat right next to me in the front row. Tommy's class came on stage and took thier places on the risers with the rest of the students and BOY DID THEY PERFORM!! Tommy sang every word of the first song. The following songs he did NOT sing, but he DID do all of the actions that went with the songs. Not a ONE of the special ed students needed to be removed from the stage! They stood up there the entire 45 minutes, most of them simply standing there relishing the spot-lite!! By the time Tommy took his bow I had tears of pride streaming down my face!!
First grade WASN'T perfect. Tommy had his share of outbursts and I was called into school plenty of times. But NEVER was I given the "kindergarten treatment". Tommy will be going into the second grade this year. he'll be at the same school and have the same teacher. He'll be taking reading, math and lunch with the "regular" students. And it's time to start planning for third grade, where Tommy will be in another school, with another principal, and a whole new fight for his education. But I'll be prepared. Tommy's early ordeal have taught me that I can no longer be the quiet girl in the corner!!!!