Have you looked at capd our son sings well but still has this go figure. Teacher's should let the parent's know what is going on. How about sending emails. I go to the principal when we didn't get from a teacher what we wanted. This year I am home schooling Daniel cause I do not want a return to his past school with a failed 3 year plan. The Se coop returned almost all the kids that where in his last school/class they relocated this Se class to the larger town. She kept only the nv kids though. She is getting 8 kids in this room this year. He will stay with horse rideing/scouts and homeschool classes if we can get in them here.
As far as communication with the school...that is the number one thing you need to have...and it seems like a lot of schools/teachers don't do it unless things get completely out of hand or you keep bugging them. well in our case anyway.
We made a notebook for Mason--I suggested something really simple just to let me know how things we going...we agreed on a smiley face for good behavior, him participating, acting appropriately...a straight face told me no bad behavior, but he wasn't really engaging or participating, and a frown face told me that he wasn't acting appropriately at all...there was a comment area that she would let me know some of the bad behaviors and how they responded to them. It listed each class activity and a box next to it for the face. It was VERY simple for his teacher to just reach over and at least put the face in there, so I knew what was going on...also helped me realize that he was getting tired, frustrated etc at certain times of the day, so I could make other suggestions.
But this came only after me writing the teacher a few notes in the morning to ask how Mason was doing and getting the response--"he's doing fine." Only to get a phone call from the principal a few weeks later informing that things were spiraling out of control. Of course I explained that I have been asking, and getting "he's fine." I was angry and frustrated so came up with this idea...thought it was easy enough for his teacher to do. It seemed to help a lot with our communication.
Just print up a bunch of copies on the computer, explain to her your concerns and tell her (teacher) you would like her to do this for awhile, bcuz you aren't getting the communication from you DD like you want.
edited: I do have the notebook yet and some empty sheets...if you would like me to scan it and post a copy of it so you can see more what I am talking about, let me know...I would be happy to do it.
My dd just started Kindergarden. She is mainstreamed and has no supports. The school district didnt feel like she had any delays...sadly...because she needs help with her language skills. Maybe in time they will see it.
Anyway, I wait outside for her and watch her walk out with her class. It hard for me to watch all the kids running out not wasting any time teling their Mom what they did and who they played with...etc...
I usually wait a while to ask my dd any questions. A few hours after she was home today I started asking her about her day. I do not get any details unless I string them out of her. I have to be so specific. Most of the time she just ignores me and I end up asking her again and again...I am frusterated. They are simple questions...like, did you like your lunch? I have to "make" her answer. I hate that too and I know I shouldnt but in the heat of the moment, I just want her to answer.
She never acted like this before. Any suggestions? I feel like I dont even know whats happening at her school. I dont know anything at all. I want to ask her teacher but she asked all the parents to wait until "something was wrong" and she needed to approach us...like no news is good news. I am not liking this at all. I have no idea if kids are being mean to her, if she is playing with the kids...eating her lunch...etc.
How can I make her communicate better? Will it get any better?
My daughter's school is screwd up too. Don't return phone calls or answers letters 90%of the time. They also send schools papers a week late. My daughter had a music program and I didn't even know. Got the paper that Fri. after the music show!!!!!I want to ask her teacher but she asked all the parents to wait until "something was wrong" and she needed to approach us...like no news is good news.
Um, okay, are you kidding me? The teacher said "don't call me, I'll call you" basically?
I'm thinking that might be something you would want to take up with the upper level administration there at the school...there should always be open lines of communication between you and her teacher (the person who is helping shape and mold your child for the better part of the day?) in any case, but especially if you have concerns about special needs for your daughter...I would be blazing a trail in there so fast...straight to the principal's office to see if this was policy set by the school, or just some rogue teacher who doesn't want to be bothered with parents...WOW, that is one of the craziest things I've ever heard, that you can't check with the teacher on how your child is doing in school? Oh my...I hope it hasn't come to that...my son starts pre-K next year...
I couldn't tell from the post, does she (your daughter) have dx, or ? Forgive me for not knowing, but I'm new to the site and don't know everyone yet.
Communication was not what I wanted in kindergarten..I had her teachers email address and home phone# and tried not to abuse the privilege but it was all one way communication for the most part and I always felt I was overwhelming an already overwhelmed teacher!
As far as Sarah communicating with me...
I wouldnt give her a snack at home until she told me at least 3 things she did at school that day~I am a mean ol mama! :P
We also printed out a sheet from "Teach me Language" manual ;
"What I did today_________________
_________________
__________________ect.... sometimes I took the sheet to her ABA playgroup and had the therapists practice getting her to express herself..the key was reinforcing her in the beginning till she got the hang of it..I think we used reinforcers for everything she has ever learned.
Trust me, I am the LAST person to start problems, I hate conflict but I already called the principal and I never got a call back. The parking situation is really bad and starting this year they dont want parents past the parking lot, so basically they want you to drive up and get your kid out at the curb. I was scared to death of this. But, they promised that PTA moms would be out in orange vests to help kinder kids find their classroom...well, I have yet to see an orange vest. I dont care what they say, I park and get out and walk her. I have been told twice not to park...but I tell them that my dd is not ready to walk alone to her class for crying out loud. The whole thing sucks.
I do not have a dx. I think she is an aspie. Lots of traits but no delays so we are stuck. Our district gave her the Vineland test and said she was fine for mainstream. She struggles to communicate, she is repetitive and she stimms. I think thats enough to dx??? I didnt get one though (through a Children's Hospital)because she didnt have social deficits...she was just three then but I think I see them emerging so we will see... I watched her on the playground when I dropped her off, she hung out near the wall alone. But, she does tell me she likes a little girl in her class...so, I dont know.
Shelly, I love that idea and I will try it:) You are not mean, you are creative...
My son just turned 9 and I still don't feel comfortable just dropping him off. Not all kids are ready to take responsibility for their backpack and not all kids follow the crowd easily -- in fact, the crowd creates the potential of them going missing!
When are parent-teacher conferences scheduled? If it's a long time to wait, you need some feedback. Here's a link with tips on establishing good communication with the teacher. One of their tips is to volunteer. Not everyone is able to do that, but it sounds like a great idea for getting your foot in the door, building communication with the teacher without conflict, and having a chance to observe your child.
http://www.kyspin.com/NDSS%20Parent%20Information%20and%20Ad vocacy%20Tips.pdf
If your child struggles to communicate but the school district only used the Vineland adaptive behaviors scale, that doesn't sound like appropriate testing to me, and you might want to pursue further testing either through the school district or privately. Maybe the Children's Hospital isn't the best evaluator for high-functioning kids. You can find other alternatives through www.autismsource.org, the ASA's searchable database. You can search for your local ASA chapter and get suggestions from them, or you can search under "medical and diagnostic".
Finally, remember that even NT kids aren't necessary good at the question "what did you do at school today" if you wait too long. Kids are very much "in the moment". I'm not suggesting you ask her right away, because she's probably too stressed to handle answering questions. Visual cues might help, for example this "letter home" worksheet, where your child can circle activities she did (color coding for best and worst) and circle how she felt about her day. Encourage her to talk a little about it, not just fill it out.
http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/resources/circle_of_activiti es/circle_of_activities.pdf
Good luck with everything.
[QUOTE=alwaysworried2]
The parking situation is really bad and starting this year they dont want parents past the parking lot, so basically they want you to drive up and get your kid out at the curb. I was scared to death of this. But, they promised that PTA moms would be out in orange vests to help kinder kids find their classroom...well, I have yet to see an orange vest. I dont care what they say, I park and get out and walk her. I have been told twice not to park...but I tell them that my dd is not ready to walk alone to her class for crying out loud. The whole thing sucks.
I totally sympathize with you on the drop off/pick up thing...at my son's school, they do have teacher's aides and the 5th graders out there to help with cross walk and getting them to class, but parking is non-existent/impossible (there are 50 spaces and at least 50 employees), so they recommend the whole "drive-thru drop" off approach...um, yeah, my son is still in a car seat, not like he can just unbuckle himself and jump out, so I always pull up into the fire lane area and off to the side out of everyone's way, and then get him out and walk him up to one of the aides...crazy thing is, the aides don't seem to mind me doing this, but the other parents go all crazy on me, honking, screaming, etc., I even got flipped off by one once (nice example they are setting for the kiddos, don't you think?)...jeez, people are so self-absorbed and inconsiderate, sorry to make you wait an extra 15 seconds in line for me to pull off to the side, so I can get my special needs child out of the car...nevermind that the honking and screaming totally unnerves my son, and he starts crying and asking me "why mommy?"
I do not have a dx. I think she is an aspie. Lots of traits but no delays so we are stuck. Our district gave her the Vineland test and said she was fine for mainstream. She struggles to communicate, she is repetitive and she stimms. I think thats enough to dx??? I didnt get one though (through a Children's Hospital)because she didnt have social deficits...she was just three then but I think I see them emerging so we will see...
Not clear from the post who assessed at hospital, but have you considered taking her to a developmental pediatrician? We made our first visit to ours at 2 1/2 and she was reluctant to give us a diagnosis (apparently, they won't give formal diagnosis until age 3, unless it is a very clear case of autism)...my son's traits were just starting to become evident at that age (he's on the mild end of the spectrum, if there is such a thing...LOL), but we ended up getting a "diagnosis" of PDD-NOS from the diagnostician from the school district when he turned 3 and was no longer eligible for ECI services...
I watched her on the playground when I dropped her off, she hung out near the wall alone. But, she does tell me she likes a little girl in her class...so, I dont know.
That's great that she at least expresses an interest in one of her classmates...I like Shelly's suggestion about getting the teacher to try to pair them up...if your child has trouble initiating conversation, then maybe the teacher can help start it for her, and she may make a friend...
I've yet to get any verbalization about the goings on at school...I always call and talk to the teacher about how he's doing, what she's seeing in him, any changes, improvements, regressions, etc. The only time he's talked about "school" was one instance at his after care facility where a kid pushed him into the wall and busted his lip and bruised his eye and cheek...I heard about "Eric pushed me" for weeks...still breaks my heart that he was traumatized like that enough that it stuck with him for about a month...
http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51750.html - Part 1, Difficulty with Reciprocal Social Interactions http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51751.html - Part 2, Impairments in Language Skills http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51755.html - Part 3, Sensory Sensitivities http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51752.html - Part 4, Narrow range of interests and insistence on set routines http://printables.familyeducation.com/forms-and-charts/skill -builder/51754.html - Part 5 - Cognitive Issues (including mind-blindness) Again, good luck with everything. My son at times is like this when he first gets home. I set up the spongebob tent in his room and let him go and relax for a while by himself to unwind. By the time dinner is on the table he is more able to answer those simple questions that I really need him to answer and it also helps with his dinner time social skills. He just seems to need that extra time for himself after a long day at school. Karrie My dd just started Kindergarden. She is mainstreamed and has no supports. The school district didnt feel like she had any delays...sadly...because she needs help with her language skills. Maybe in time they will see it. Anyway, I wait outside for her and watch her walk out with her class. It hard for me to watch all the kids running out not wasting any time teling their Mom what they did and who they played with...etc... I usually wait a while to ask my dd any questions. A few hours after she was home today I started asking her about her day. I do not get any details unless I string them out of her. I have to be so specific. Most of the time she just ignores me and I end up asking her again and again...I am frusterated. They are simple questions...like, did you like your lunch? I have to "make" her answer. I hate that too and I know I shouldnt but in the heat of the moment, I just want her to answer. She never acted like this before. Any suggestions? I feel like I dont even know whats happening at her school. I dont know anything at all. I want to ask her teacher but she asked all the parents to wait until "something was wrong" and she needed to approach us...like no news is good news. I am not liking this at all. I have no idea if kids are being mean to her, if she is playing with the kids...eating her lunch...etc. How can I make her communicate better? Will it get any better? [/QUOTE] My guess is the auditory environment of the classroom totally overwhelmed her. Happened with my dd. GREATLY diminished eye contact accompanied this withdrawal. I feel better knowing that I can anticipate it happening, this fall and know what it is. Of course it will still suck.
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