Mommy needs help!! | Autism PDD

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I just want to thank all of you for your support, I do feel much better about all of this. After hearing your stories, I think that I will take your advice, start off the first few days taking him to school and letting him ride the bus home and then transition into riding the bus to and from school everyday. He will only be in class from 8-2 and my dd goes from 8-3, so I will have plenty of one on one time with him before she gets home from school.

Once again, Thanks for all of your help and support. You guys are the GREATEST!!!!
[QUOTE=LeAnne C]

Oh, and my two cents of the bus is: drive him to school in the morning for a week, but let him take the bus home.  Then the following week, let him ride to and from school on the bus.  It is an excellent transition "place" from mommy to school and back.  When you take them to school, there's often some trouble going from black to white.  Use the bus as your gray zone.

We'll all be shedding tears this month!  Cole starts first grade this Friday the 10th and I am NOT ready!

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Thanks LeAnne C, I think this may work for him and I both. Thanks.
[QUOTE=YepperBepper]

Mandy...I am so with you on this issue.  Our big day is Spetmeber 4th.  My 3.5 year old boy will be begining school.  We have opted not to take the bus.  Hubby will take him and pick him up.

I am nore than happy to cry with you....we can bite our nails, worry, pace....whatever you like.

 

[/QUOTE]

Thank you yepperBepper, I may just hold you to that.
((Snoopywoman)),  I totally agree, I truly hope that he is going to adjust just fine....it's me that is going to have a harder time.

Like my husband said "You keep complaining about the weight that you have gained this year, well now is your chance to exercise your little heart out and make yourself feel better, and it will keep you busy at the same time".
Makes perfect sense to me.
Great idea.. You will be a healthier, and happier mommy with all the
endorphins you'll get from the exercise! You will also be doing something
just for you!!
I like having the extra time to do errands, clean,etc. When my baby is
home, it is all about him!
Once the 2 of you adjust- you will love it!!


yma

I just want to say that usually, school is good for our kids! Yes, it is scary to send them off to strangers - that is why it is so important to investigate and make sure it is the best setting for your child. But these people are generally not going to be trying to work against you. Kids will often blossom in school and learn things you never expected they would (or thought to teach them!). When my son went off to pre-school the first time at barely age 3 (it was mainstream and pre-diagnosis) I was terrified. But within a month, he came home telling me what all the days of the week were - in order! I had never thought about teaching him those for some reason. But he picked it up at school - he's like a little sponge sometimes.

I did a lot of research on the pre-schools available and chose the one I thought fit him best. I obviously did well, because his teacher that year was the one who first suggested to us that ds be evaluated for possible Asperger's Syndrome. Because we got a PDD-NOS diagnosis so early on, we have been able to get him services and he is doing really well! While I have had troubles with other school officials (particularly at ECSE) - they have always done well by my ds.

School is NOT a bad thing - our kids need to be around other kids even moreso than other kids do. And, we as parents need to let them be independent as much as we can. Please don't keep your kids home just to protect them - I know that's a natural instinct. But, we honestly can't protect them their whole lives and we most likely won't be around their whole lives. I would rather start working on independence now so that they are more capable as they get older.

I know how hard it is to let go - that first time of putting ds on the bus for Head Start last year was just awful. I bawled after (tried not to let him see). But, he did GREAT! I think your kids will all be just fine - it's US that are going to have the more difficult time, I bet!

Let me just start by saying, I am an emotional wreck!!
Monday the dh and I went school shopping for the kids (starting uniforms this year..yay!) Before we could even get to the store, I was already in tears. My dear Skylar is starting a PPCD class (pre-school program for children with disabilities) in 19 days. My oldest child Zoe is going into the 2nd grade. With Skylar its a bit different, I feel selfish for saying that I AM JUST NOT READY for this. I know that this is what he needs and deserves, and it will be good for him (I hope). But, for the last 4 1/2 years, I have been mommy, caregiver, teacher and protector. I now feel like I am losing it ALL. Just the thought of being in my home with him not here, is the most horrible kind of pain in my heart. This gives a whole new meaning to Separation Anxiety and my doc has already started the anxiety meds. LOL

Is this a normal feeling?
Does it ever get better?
As far as letting him ride the bus, I am being told that it will be good for him. But I just DON'T know what to do.

No one knows my little man like I do, and no one LOVES him more than me. I want to keep him safe from harm and hateful people (like those who dont understand autism).

Can someone please give me some insight as to how I am supposed to deal with this?

Thanks for listening, I just needed to get it off my chest, I have cried until my eyes are bloodshot and have dark circles.

I had the same feeling about the bus when my son started at age 3. I just didnt feel comfortable putting him on it. So I took him to school and picked him up.  But the 2nd year I ended up giving in and letting him ride it he was the only student in his class that didnt take it.   I could tell he was sad about it.  Now he sees the bus and he runs up and gets all excited.

HE LOVES IT!!!

 

I'm sure after a couple days of putting him on it you'll she how much he loves it ! :)

mishy39302.3991550926Thank you so much Mishy, I needed to hear that. Your feelins are very normal.. and it will get better.. You are right no ones knows your child like you and loves them more then you.. But you have to give in and let go just a little the caregivers and teachers will take very good care of your children. My son turned 3 last august 19 and on september 7 i stuck him on a bus for his first day of school and i nearly fainted when that bus drove away.. I was in tears and had a oanic attack.. But when he walked off that bus with the biggest smile on his face a couple hours later i knew it was all worth it from that day forward i let him be him and stopped holding on so much.. He is now going to go on the big bus this septmeber and that will be just as hard for me.. Butthe meds do work i have been taking anxiety meds now for 3 months and bot do i feel great .. My depression is gone and so is my anxiety.. It will be ok.. be strong you will get through this... 

SO normal!!!  You'll be okay, hang in there ... it is SCARY for moms, though.  Even moms of the NT kids!!!

{{{{HUGS}}}}

 

Thanks guys, I knew if there where anyone in this world that would understand how I am feeling right about now, YOU would. Thanks for all of your support and HUGS!!

First of all, Mandy, great big, huge 

You're not abdicating your role as mommy, caregiver, teacher or protector.  You're enlisting additional resources and help so that Skylar can get exactly what you said - the education and help he needs and deserves.  Your roles haven't changed, although now you use your knowledge of your son to make sure that those people assisting you provide that education and therapy in the manner he needs.  You're the expert on your son, and that plays an important part in making sure his IEP, etc. "fit" him, and that he benefits from what the school offers.  Stay on top of what he's learning, stay on top of his moods - if he's unhappy for a while, find out why and fix it.  That's not any different from what you've been doing, just a different setting.  You're still all those things you have been - just using those skills in a somewhat different manner now.

As far as the bus goes... it's a tearjerker to see our "babies" get on the bus and be independent.  But it is good for him to do so.  Enabling him to make the transition from "chauffeured by mom" to "bus rider" by staying positive, pointing out the good things, etc. is part of your new role description.

Part of parenting our children, whether NT or on the spectrum, is teaching them independence from us.  They will eventually have to live in a world that we will not be a part of, and teaching them independence and self-reliance is one of the ways we can protect them.  "Letting go" is part of the development process - for both them and us.  Sometimes though, it's harder for us to let go than it is for them... and that's a feeling that many of us on this board can easily share with you.  I know I certainly can.

 

 

Your Welcome!

 

or summer vacation  It is scary at first, but very exciting though. Your son is going to
experience so many NEW and WONDERFUL things! My son has really
blossomed since going to school.
If you're concerned about the bus- then take him to school the first year.
My son did not ride the bus until his 2nd year. It was no big deal.
Every big change has made my little guy, seem so much more of a big
boy!
What really helped me with the separation was getting a part-time job as
a substitute teacher. It feels so good to go back to work.. if only a little.

Good luck!
YmaI lost sleep the week before and at least 2 weeks into school but she did great!  I got on sleep meds to help me sleep.