HOW DO YOU COPE | Autism PDD
You don't sound like you're "complaining", everyone is just being real. Thank God I found y'all. This is fast becoming my main coping mechanism. I'm divorced and he is in Holland for the next few years so it's tough. It's just me and Paul and no childcare....no money....no lovelife--Sorry, I digressed there! I cope with anti-depressants and with the odd set of friends I have who are almost all or were therapists and tutors of Paul. It is just so hard to make friends or date when the other person doesn't get it. And how are they going to? It's tough.
But praying helps. Crying when I must--this is less as he gets more stable and older. Laughing--let's face it, some of these stories are a scream!
My biggy that gets me through is that when I am at the end of my rope and just losing it, which is usually when I have the ridiculous idea that I can do anything other than be thera-nutri-shrink-ot-st to my child, I just stop. I stop myself cold and take a breath and say the hell with everything else, I'm just going to be here in this moment with my beloved son. It works every time for me.
Well just when I think things are hard for me.... Karrie I had no idea about your older kids I just assumed they were visiting their Dad for the summer. I have two kids from a previouse relationship and two from the guy I am with now (7 yrs) and I would be devistated if any of my kids were away from me. I have some pretty rough times here with my two older girls his two kids from his ex and our two together just mixing that together is hard!!! His daughter 13 yrs old lived with us for 4 yrs and recently went back to her mom's against our wishes (we are still in a custody battle) that was really hard on all of us even though she isn't my biological daughter I have been in her life for 7 yrs and raised her for 4 of them while her mom pushed her away (long story!!) Then with the dx of our son things just seem to get tougher. Now my daughters's father is trying to convince them that they should come live with him. But thankfully so far they don't want to but.........he has alot more money and is trying to buy them. I have raised them with different moralls so I hope he doesn't get to them!!!! I worry with all of the stress in our house with a brother with autism and a mom who is doing everything by herself and relies on them to help out alot that they will want to go to their dad's to get away from it all. I just keep reminding them everyday that I love them and their brother and little sister need them in their lives. Like Karrie says I take it one day at a time, some days are alot better than others.
Nita
Oh and the littlest one she is just a plain old spoiled brat because with everything going on she seems to be getting away with murder!!!!
I used to journal a lot. It was like my own personal conversation with God. It was very uplifting and really helped put things in perspective. I would start out by writing how bad I had it and before I knew it I would be writing about something one of the kids did that made me smile and then I would focus on the good. It was a very helpful divine intervention - it just helps to get it out, like here. Sometimes all you have to do is verbalize it and then it relieves the stress and we're able to move on and be happy with the children that we have...no mater what. Don't get me wrong, there is still tears and sometimes yelling, but then it all goes away and I remember that that is who my Tyler is and I wouldn't know what to do if he was any other way! Cathie I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA AND HELPFUL TO US ALL TO SHARE THOUGHTS ON HOW WE EACH COPE WITH OUR "SPECIAL" CIRCUSTANCES. YOU CAN BE ANNONYMOUS I GUESS, IF YOU WANT. I AM JUST LOOKING FOR METHODS AND CURIOUS AS TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE IN MY SITUATION DO. PERSONALLY, WITH MY ADULT ADHD HUSBAND WHO REFUSES TO TAKE MEDS, FOR HIMSELF. 2 TEENAGERS, 2 IN DIAPERS, 1 AUTISTIC/ADHD, 1ADD AT LEAST AND A TODDLER, ALMOST 1 YEAR OLD, I TAKE PROZAC. IT SEEMS TO WORK FOR ME TO NOT FREAK OVER EVERY SINGLE THING. KATE (((hugs to all who need them!))) Prayer has helped me so much, especially when I'm at my wits end, but I try to remember to give thanks when things are going well too...getting better at that. I also run when I can, running zones me out, or tires me out so that feeling of pullng my hair out and screaming why goes pretty quickly lol... sometimes I give into the crying and that helps too, I have you all to talk to if I need it and I love that, I wish we could have get togethers in person...ooo that would be fun! thanks for starting this thread, and Kellie, I'm sorry things aren't going so well, praying you get to be where you want to be soon! xo Ali Well, Kellie you are not alone. My parents are dead and have been for years. My husband is military so we have no family nearby either. I have a sister 2 1/2 hours away but I don't see her very often. I have no friends here at all and have no idea who even my neighbors are. My oldest 2 children got stuck with their father because my last divorce papers stated that I could not relocate them out of the state even though I still have physical custody....so we have to visit when we can and I talk to them on the phone everyday. We have one more year here before I can get back to them and it drives me crazy. I am due with this baby anyday now and I have no idea what to expect as far as Adam is concerned and my other two children will probably not be able to meet their new addition until christmas. How do I cope???? I take it one day at a time. LOL And I come here. Everyday I thank god for my husband. He is my best friend. I have no idea what I would do without him. Karrie Hhhmm this is a good question. I don't always cope well! I have type 1 diabetes, thyroid disease, migranes and an antibody disorder, dh has vision problems, high blood pressure and cholestrol, oldest dd is allergic to asprin, motrin, advil and any product made with these such as pepto, aspercream, and then there are the shell fish and shrimp allergies and needs braces on the teeth in the spring, next dd is epileptic, estrophia, nystagmus, no depth perception, no 3-D vision, asthma and then there is Zach with his heart condition, chordee, yeast probs. autism, and asthma. I have been diagnosed with stress related depression and put on several anti depressants, but the side effect's usually end up having me quit them before they help. (the antibody disorder kicks in and I can't take a lot of drugs) I keep getting told by docs. and nurses to "take more time for myself, relax, get away from the house" and a whole other bunch of malarky. Personally a xanax and a stiff drink usually stop the crying and a shot of insulin as a chaser! That's how I cope. How do i cope??? I cry often. I just started working out on a circuit training system. The Dr. just prescribed me some Zoloft. The main thing I do.... spend time with God. I'm a born again Christian so this is my main source of comfort. Sometimes i get mad and yell at my husband ... *laughs* he loves that... j/k. I cope through bible study, my girlfriends at church, my prescriptions(which are being cut back slowly), and exercise. My parents live neaerby, my siblings are getting on board, and Benjamin is responding well to meds and OT. He is the poster-child for early-intervention. At just=about-seven, Benjamin makes the first couple of years after dx seem light years away. I occassionaly go to Ben and Jerry's for some chocolate ice cream. Janet I come in here alot....It really helps me to know that I am not alone. Sometimes I take a walk or read the paper or go to the mall.....anything to get a break
That is a good question.............I talk.......I talk to my hubby, my mom, his mom, my sisters........and anybody that will listen.............sometimes I spend way too much time thinking and worrying...........that is a given.........but I have my friends here who just let me blast away.........and they get it.........they actually get what I am saying.........they understand......it is my best coping mechanism of all..........and I pray and thank God everyday for the special gift he has given me in my children.........and in my family and my friends.........and humor........I look for it in every situation...........sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.............and I do.........I laugh at the ridicilous(sp) way things turn out sometimes..........Good luck........you will be fine........... Right now my escape is listening to the T.O., Eagles, McNabb soap opera. Being shown on espn, espn2, and espnnews. Tammy
Kellie
Well, I don't actually yell at him, but sometimes I complain a
lot. He helps me put things in perspective. I married Mr
Pragmatic. 
For me it is, prayer, running ,and weight training on a daily basis. By doing this I am a much better person to live with and can give so much more to my kids .
Amanda has also helped my golf game because I am just so thrilled to be
on the course that I think about every shot. I play less and
score better.
My wife works out every day for her release. Her pyschologist
told her that her depression would be helped better with exercise than
meds. In four years she has dropped 6 sizes and is as physically
fit a woman as you will see. So I got that going for me
too. I work out too but it is just so I can help her move
furniture.
Then there is the vodka. Two stout Vodka Tonics in the evening a
few nights a week really takes the edge off the day. No more than
two though because Amanda wakes up no later than 7:30 every day.
She doesn't care about hangovers or blurred vision.
Sometimes I laugh
, I cry
, I hug
, I have my days and my 
days. Mainly, I pray.
I keep certain CDs in my mommy-van to listen to when I'm going to work
or running up to the store. I listen to my Kenny Chesney "Old
Blue Chair" when I want to get away to my imaginary island. I
picture myself sitting in that blue chair watching the
sunset and listening to the waves--hey it's a free vacation in my
mind. I also listen to my Cee Cee Winans and Mary Mary CDs.
Today I was listening to my Mary Mary CD a song called "Yesterday" one
of the verses goes like this: "There ain't nothing to hard for my
God, no. Any problems that I have He's greater than them all, so
I decided that I cried my last tear yesterday.
I'll be praying for all of us tonight.
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