Okay I suspect some of it is post-diagnostic slacking on Mom's part ... she has been having worsening meltdowns in the shower ... hates having her hair washed, and wants to hog the hot water.
But she TRIED TO meltdown in the shower this morning and I STOPPED HER! Told her I would not help her wash up if she acted like that and yelled for her father to come and get her. HAH! She quieted and calmed pretty fast.
Anyone else had to handle THOSE ... I am sure the real ones will be concurrent, too ... SIGH.
but of course!yes actually all the time. And I do exactly what you did. There is a slight difference when it is real, its more frantic somehow, especially with Andrew. And he can't focus on anything. I noticed it at the grocery store when they were having this crazy special and there were like 15 people all gathered in one area of the store and the milk was behind them. He just started freaking, and I could tell it was sensory and the crowd, it was almost like this frantic I don't know what to do type thing. And nothing I said did anything. It was like he couldn't hear me. so I just got him out of there and as soon as we left that aisle he was fine.How do you tell, especially when you are half-dead and preoccupied, and what do you do?
I am MORE worried about being a hard@$$ when it is real, naturally.
I tend to view one as a true sensory meltdown, and the other as a temper tantrum, and sometimes it IS difficult to tell the difference from the outside.
Like mentioned earlier, there's something more frantic about a true meltdown - everything around them both externally and internally is out of control to them, and although they know they're out of control, they can't get back to a safe emotional/sensory place. There's an "edge" to it, that isn't there in a temper tantrum. If I take a deep breath and simply observe for a moment, it becomes apparent which one it is. Then I can respond in the most appropriate way - either get him someplace safe he can regroup in, provide discipline, or simply ignore.
For temper tantrums and mild meltdowns (but not so much for sensory meltdowns of any kind) taking away Ali's video & computer games has seemed to work well. Additionally, giving her extra computer time and playing games with her on the computer (she LOVES playing Mario on my laptop) as a reward for good behavior works better than a lot of things for Ali. Somehow, she cannot understand a lot of verbal directions, she cannot dress or feed herself well, etc. but she is a computer whiz and a gamer.I get lashing out, hitting randomly, an odd, scratchy, screechy voice, and "I HATE YOU!" or, "You're BAD!" Sometimes after she curls up on the floor of the shower stall. It is as if whatever I did to her was sensed as about 100 times what it was (usually it is lathering her hair). Of course sometimes it worse than others ... I have grabbed her hands and held them until she sat down. Maybe I should not call it a meltdown? Maybe overreaction to sesnory stimulus?
This morning the odd voice was not there ... just the words and hitting.
Linda,
If I had a dollar for every time Iheard "you're bad" or "you're mean" or "you don't love me" I would be rich! I sometimes do not know the difference with Ali but right now I am confused and wondering if she could have ODD or something else in addition to HFA. She says these things but also she can be plain mean and without remorse at times. It breaks my heart hearing her say she will kill me or she will cut me or just beating me. It is so hard. I do not have any great advice cause when Ali has some of her recent episodes...though I have tried all the methods the psych's recommend-like time out and ignoring and redirecting, etc- she still continues and even seeks me out to say things or hit me or tantrum. I hope things get better for you and if you ever need to talk or need someone to listen I am here.
Sarah used to have at least one to two a day and now it seems to be when only she is very tired, bored or not feeling 100%..I give warnings initially with a count to 5 method..that usually stops it~if it doesnt I give her a time out and then we talk about what is bothering her only when she is calm. The trick is to act instantly before it gets overwhelming for them to control. Good luck!