Very Frustrated and Confused | Autism PDD
I agree with above.
When the school did C's evals, they also sent folks to observe him at home, as did the private clinic where we get speech and OT.
My son looks pretty close to NT at home but presents as more autistic at school. We just did a private evaluation with a neuropsych and in the report she pointed out that C is very environmentally sensetive and she agreed that he looks very different in different environments.
Spectrummum: Thanks for your post-- I have already given the mother copies of a notebook that had 2 1/2 months of daily things that I have been noticing since May.
At the time when we talked about my concerns, she actually mentioned that she had been reading about autism on the web. So I know she has seen obvious red flags or why else would she have needed to read about it.
There is very little eye contact or none at all. No speach ( he will be 2 at the end of Aug.). No interaction with the 4 other kids in the room. Only will eat a few foods. Repetetive hand & arm movements are frequent. Constant blank stare and in own world. Doesn't respond to his name most of the time. Doesn't want to be bothered when he is doing something- will have a big fit.
That is only some of the things off the top of my head. Now, how does that not sound like some autistic behaviors???
Hi there
When my grandson was 16 months old I talkd to my dd about Devin maybe having autism, she blew up!!!! she didn't want to hear it, she wasn't ready!
2 months lated he had the dx of autism and sid. Afterwards, she told me she new something was wrong with him before i even talked to her.
My point to all this is, maybe she already knows, and just isn't ready to except it yet. and if you keep pushing her you might loose J., And I would hate to see that happen to you and J Because people like you don't come around very often. You should be PROUD!!!!
Good luck with J and his family
Hi melomo83,
I just want to say thank you for caring so much about J. It makes so much difference when any child can be under the care of a caring adult. Our kids especially need it more. I encountered a lot of not so kind people in the unexpected places (christian daycare centers) at that stage in my son's life. They would just dismiss him from the center, usually just saying he is too immature while having embarrased me in the presence of other parents openly complaining about my son. Eventually finding kind people made life a lot easier. I think if the mom continues to have the child exposed to caring professionals she would be pointed in the right direction and gain precious time in early intervention. Meanwhile I am a strong believer in having our kids exposed to typically developing peers. So even if he goes to EI sometime he can still come play with the other kids at your center.
Please don't be too stressed about this. Everything will be O.K. The mom will figure out what to do and J will get the intervention that he needs.
Concernedpa.
Spectrummum is right that he should have been seen in a variety of settings.In case someone doesn't know: I'm the daycare lady with the little boy who may be autistic.
I am going to call him "J" that way I don't give out his name. J had an eval with First Steps yesterday. I don't know what all went on, all the grandmother told me this morning when she brought him in was that the evaluator did not feel that he was autistic. First of all, they did the eval at his home, not my house. He must not even act the same at home or they would have definately seen some big red flags. I would think this lady should know what she is talking about, but I'm really wondering if she is wrong.
I even did the childbrain test on him and it came back as a severe score.
Please help me and give me advice on this. For one thing, I'm stuck in the middle here- I'm only his daycare provider. That being said, he is with me more than at home. I just don't know how she could already say that he is definately not autistic just from one visit.
How did it go for you all? Did you have any "professionals" tell you you were wrong about autism?
Please let me know how to deal with this.
Thanks
HI HUN
BOTH MY AUTISTIC CHILDREN ACT DIFFERANTLY AT OTHER PLACES.
THATS WHY ASSESSMENTS ARE SUPPOSE TO COVER ALL AREAS OF THE CHILDS LIFE
THE ASSESSMENT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE IN ALL THE ENVIROMENTS THE CHILD IS IN
SCHOOL,HOME ETC
HE SHOULD HAVE SAT A MULTY DISCAPLINARY WHICH INVOLVES A ED PHYSC SPEECH THERAPIST AUDIOLOGIST PHSIOTHERAPIST ORTHOPTIST
ALL YOU CAN DO HIS START TO KEEP A DIARY ASK THE MUM TO KEEP ONE THERE ALSO
JUST A DAILY ROUTINE AND WHAT THE CHILDS COMMUICATION IS LIKE
DOES HE COME TO GET IS NEEDS MET DOES HE USE EYE CONTACT
IF HE IS VERBAL RIGHT DOWN ANY CONVERSTAIONS HE HAS DO THIS FOR A MONTH AND A PATTERN WILL HAVE FORMED THATS THE EVIDENCE YOU NEED MAKE A COPY OF IT AND GIVE ONE TO THE PARENTS KEEP THE OTHER
THESE PARENTS SOUND TO ME LIKE THEY DONT WANT TO SEE AUTISM IS WITH THERE CHILD THEY ARE IN DENAIL
THEY WILL CHANGE THERE MIND
IF I CAN HELP SOME MORE PLEASE ASK
http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily
Sorry guys!!! I guess I did forget to say he qualifies for the speach stuff. Thank goodness they will atleast be getting that started.
Really, he isn't that hard to deal with (yet). He really comes across as a "good kid" who prefers to be left alone to play.
The fits don't happen often. The worst one was just a few weeks ago. My mom went in to get them up from nap instead of me doing it-- BAD THING!!! He screamed and cried for about 30-45 min. and refused any snack that I offered, wouldn't even keep it on his tray. We haven't tried that again!!!
I don't have any problems dealing with him along with the other kids. But I have told the mom that if at any time she feels like he needs something more than I can do, then let me know and I will understand.
I just don't want to come across the wrong way to them about it. But I hope they don't just stop at speach therapy and accept the first eval's answer that it's not autism. There is definately more than they saw at his home. Maybe they will send her to my house to do an eval. That's all I can hope for now.
Thanks for listening.
. You did the right thing by mentioning your concern to his mom. Now that the evals have begun, if he is indeed autistic, or they suspect he is, they will recommend a neurology or developmental pediatrician appointment.When my son was 2, he was in a home based day care center. The provider started mentioning things that were troubling to her...like, "he doesn't respond when I ask him something", or "he doesn't show interest in other kids", or "he doesn't play with toys, etc.".... I have to admit, at first, I was MAD
. I also knew there might be a problem, but I wasn't ready to face it. I switched him to another day care center without saying a word about the issues that the original provider saw. The new day care was bigger, with lots more kids, so I figured all the exposure would help him, and if not, the new provider would let me know if she also had concerns.
Sure enough, 3 weeks later, she called me at work and said, "If you have errands to run after work, just leave him here, because he is very cranky...and while I have you on the phone, I'm concerned about his speech". I asked her if that's all she noticed, and her reply was, "Let's just start there". She knew that once the evaluations started rolling, that they would find other issues. I just think the way she handled it was so much more professional.
He was diagnosed with autism about 2 months later by a neurologist.
nakama
from just what you put there
are some of the triad of impairments
you have to be very careful wear you tred here
my advice would be to keep telling the mum all the new and differant things he does if you like as you said she has been on the web give her my group adress and or email
i will be only to happy to talk to her about it
perhaps she may listen to someone with autism as i am
i think though because you are a carer you can ask the health visitor or the childs gp to refer hi to a specialist imnot sure though so i will cheack it out
love shell
http://groups.msn.com/autismaspergersinthefamily
They should definitely evaluate him in different settings. My ds must be the opposite of what your day care child is. His symptoms come out in full force at home - but he passes for NT in most other settings.
It sounds like the grandma said that they don't think he's autistic - but it doesn't mean they don't think there are developmental delays. Surely with no speech at 2 years old, they are thinking he needs speech?
I don't know how much else you can do. Is this child one that you feel you can take care of in addition to the other children? I would hate to see this child leave your care - especially since you sound so concerned and wanting what's best for him. But, I also know that as a day care provider, you need to be able to maintain a safe place for all of your kids. If the child is having big fits (meltdowns?) are you able to deal with those and take care of all the other children in your care at the same time? Lots of kids have tantrums, but kids on the spectrum can have meltdowns that last a LOOOOONG time. I know how difficult it is trying to take care of just my ds and my dd if ds has a meltdown (which doesn't happen very often, thank goodness!).
It is very frustrating when you KNOW a child needs help and others are in denial. But it is even moreso if you are the one caring for the child a lot of the time. I would ask for further details - especially since you have apparently already brought up the issue with them. I would say that you are concerned because you have noticed these things and they ARE affecting his functioning in daycare. Obviously, not in a way where the parents think you are bailing on them and are kicking him out, but just that you are concerned for him. And that you know early intervention is key and can help him in SO many ways.
This has got to be hard for the parents as well - no one wants to think their child possibly has autism. As he gets older, the symptoms will only become more obvious, but they will also have lost some precious time.
Sending good thoughts your way!
From my experience...
First steps knew immediately from their first evaluation (18 months)for my daughter and since she did qualify for services due to speech and fine motor delay and sensory integration issues,overtime their suspision was confirmed. When she went to daycare they sent a special teacher once a week to help the daycare teacher with any behavior issues and to help my daughter feel more comfortable. It still wasn't the best place for her so fortunately I was able to stay at home with the kids.
Her doctor didn't recognize it until we had to go in a different door at the doctors office...a memorable event for everyone.
With my son, they couldn't tell right away because he has other issues. At the first visit they didn't see it and he didn't yet qualify for services (9 months, mild hypotonia). At the second evaluation he qualified for services, speech and motor delays (14 months) and they still didn't think autism until they had spent 2 months with him. His neurologist however suspected on the first visit at 9 months old. She is on a team that evaluates children for autism.
Maybe they are worried that you won't continue to care for their child. Maybe they are in denial. I think the at home evaluation is to see if the child qualifies for the services they offer. Does he have a speech or motor delay, something that would qualify him for services anyway where they could spend more time with him.
Personally, it's often hard to accept your perfect child needs help. Ego, fear all those things get in the way. Maybe if the parents could see a tape(dvd) of him at school.
I just read your other post. He must qualify for speech therapy. They should be setting up a program for him. Was that mentioned to you?thanks everyone for commenting. i have put so much energy and emotion into this whole thing that i don't know how much more i can take.
i just sat and cried like a baby last friday because i got him in my lap and he bear hugged me for atleast 10 seconds. i somehow just feel like i will not be ok until i find out more. i am so drained right now just from thinking.
nakama: this child has all the same red flags you mentioned your daycare provider telling you. so, possibly, could i still have some hope that the speech therapist will notice it? I'm not nakama, but I think there is a chance the speech provider may notice it and bring it up. There is a growing awareness about autism. Nakama - I wondered if you were also more ready to hear about autism and given that TWO providers had noticed it - well, maybe you were more accepting? I think the first person to mention autism to someone is often resented a little (whether it's rational or not) unless the parent has already been seriously looking at it. I think it's hard to know how to approach parents as every one is so different in how they will react and some will react better to one way than another. But, that was a good way for that provider to approach you - especially since she didn't know you very well... melomo - I'm glad to hear the little boy is going to get speech at least. Maybe if he starts to talk and still there are lots of issues, maybe it will be harder to be in denial? Or if the speech therapist has great difficulty getting him to cooperate it will throw up a red flag? Speech therapists cannot diagnose. However, not all can or will pick up on signs of autism. Should they? Probably. Will they for sure - not necessarily. They may not say anything either because often people will not want to be the ones to tell parents. There is often a backlash from parents who are in denial. I am hoping, though, that the speech therapist this child sees DOES pick up on it and encourages the parents to get him in for an eval. If they hear it from both the ST and you, it may help them break out of denial...
If the child is autistic, the speech therapist will definitely pick up on it...BUT, she will NOT be able to diagnose the child. She is not allowed to. What she will do, along with the special ed and occupational therapists evaluations, is suggest a follow up with a doctor, probably a neurologist.
All the speech therapist will do, is take the test, and state whether or not the child is eligible for speech therapy, which it definitely sounds like he is.
When my son had his speech eval done, I asked her if he was autistic, and she replied that I should take him to see a neurologist. She did, however, point out red flags, like eye contact, and difficulty transitioning from one activity to another, mouthing objects, and high frustration level. Those comments kind of solidified what I already knew. She kind of said autism without really saying it, KWIM?
Both our private dev. ped. and the school psych who evaluated him for
placement, both said the same thing: They COULD NOT believe my son was
the same kid they saw in their office after they observed him in his pre-
school. He was quirky and bright and showed some signs of being on the
spectrum when they first met him. He CLEARLY fell somewhere on the
spectrum when they saw him around his peers.
Basically he could engage fairly well with adults 1:1. At school, he was
walking the perimeter of the room, humming to himself during all group
activities. He sat under tables with his hands over his ears, and engaged
only in solitary play. They would have never seen that in an office or family
home setting.
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