In a prior thread re: college, both Woodsman & Stickboy mentioned sharing a room with a roommate in college as a point of particular distress.
I'd like to ask a few questions of the ASD adults on the board.
I'm just curious because my boys share a room now and will share until that arrangement stops working for whatever reason. I know they are still very young, but so far it hasn't been an issue. (I also don't think it has ever occured to them that there is an alternative, which there is, but I'm not ready to give up my guest room yet so I'm keeping my mouth shut!)
Good morning, Kristy! I have never been officially diagnosed with an ASD (have been dx'd with mild anxiety & depression) but I do believe I def. have an ASD...I see a lot of similarities (sensory & social) with Ali. As well, on several questionnaires my results are moderate Asperger's. On the Aspie test someone had on here the other day, I scored a 157. SO, though I have no official dx, I think I do have an ASD and maybe my answers may be of some value to you. Here goes:
Did you share a room with a sibling growing up, or did you always have your own room?
I shared a room with my sister from age 3 to age 18. I never wanted my own room per se....but we did NOT get along. At the time, I could not understand why she had problems with my "order" ...total disorder with meaning to me & a lot of things I did (routines and some stimmy type behaviors included). My sister cleaned like crazy....and I got so angry because I could not find my stuff where I left it. It is weird cause even now I am a clean/neat freak....all except my bedroom. I want all the other rooms to look spotless but my room is usually cluttered....chaotic order. My sister despised sharing a room with me. I loved having her in the same room...if she would just let me do things my way. The main time I objected to sharing a room is when I was angry or depressed...I wanted to go to my room and play music loudly and just lay on my bed in peace...with no one around...she would never let me be. It was tough sometimes, but I am glad we shared a room.
Did you have issues sharing a room with a roommate as an adult and if so, can you describe what the issues were?
I have shared a room as a teen with my sister and as an adult with 2 different men and now with Ali. I think my main thing is I like control. I want things where I want them...which may not make sense to the other person....like clothes may me laying on a chair while books are in a drawer, skates and other odds are in the closet and other stuff is cluttered about....I get upset when someone disturbs my seemingly unorganized stuff. I also (before I had Ali and could) still liked to be able to escape to MY room without being bothered. My ex-husband was hardest to share a room with. Ali is not bad...but she is so much like me that it is frustrating. She takes dvd's and spreads them all over the floor and if you move them she has a tantrum. We have come to respect each other's mess...but sometimes it is tough.
If you did share a room growing up, did it make it easier to live with a roommate when older, or did it have no impact?
I think sharing the room with my sister def. helped me deal with sharing space with someone else....yet it made me want my own space that I could control even more and made me love having my own room once I got it and going back to sharing a room was soooo tough. I can say if I had not shared a room growing up, sharing my room (see it is always MINE) as an adult would have been pure torture and prob. something I could not do. I think even NT people do not always like sharing thier space and it is something you have to learn how to and be willing to compromise.
Good luck to you and your children!