I could use some positive thoughts.... | Autism PDD
I will gladly send some positive energy your way!!!! I know how hard it is dealing with the schools. My words of wisdom are to fight like hell, ask for everything that you know he needs and i wouldn't sit thru another 3 hour meeting, if they won't back down, tell them the meeting is over, you're contacting an advocate/attorney and you're going to due process. Contact your states reps , local and national, ask them for help, explain your situation and I'm sure you'll get a response. Go to the DOE website for your state, i always find when I use "their" language and quote it, I get more of a response. Best of Luck and remember, Give them Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- Eileen
Lesley,
3 hours--I'd be ready to bite someone's head off by that time.
Ditto to what Eileen said, sending you some postive energy too!
Make sure you have all your wants written down. Type them if you
want and hand out copies to everyone there. One little thing I
learned that works in most meetings with people when you ask for
something, just state what you want, and if they give you a lot of
heeing and hawing, don't say anything just look them straight in the
eye and don't say a word. Then after they finish all their mumbo
and jumbo you state again what you want and ask if they have written or
typed it down yet.
One more thing--if you think they are going to have you there for over an hour,
I'd pack a little snack/lunch. Seriously, If the IEP goes too long and they are
working your last nerve, tell them to hold on one minute, you pull out
your napkin, place your drink and sandwich down, take a bite out of
your sandwich and then say, you may continue 
I'll be saying a prayer for you Lesley--you go girl!
Lesley... Definately wishing you all the best for the upsoming meeting. If ya figure out how to MAKE IT HAPPEN sned me a lil insight I will be having a meeting in about a month or so! GOOD LUCK! Keep us posted.I hate to ask, really I do, I know everyone who deals with this needs the same.
We have 9 days till our "Re-IEP" meeting...and I could use some good thoughts that it will go better than our 3-hour meeting that went nowhere in May. I'm sure there are quite a few of you going through this now too, and so you know, I always think of all these kids (and parents) who have to fight like mad just to get a proper education with the tools they need.
Good luck to all the kids who have started / are starting school.
~Lesley
I hope it's okay that I am posting this, especially since I am not a parent but a speech-language pathologist who works in the schools. I have been to many team meetings/IEP meetings in the past 9 years, and I have found that the parents who get the most services for their children are the ones who come prepared with ideas in writing (and have enough copies for all the team members), firmly but nicely advocate for their children, and come with an alternative plan. In other words, shoot for the moon, but have a back-up plan that is just as desirable. For example, if you are trying to increase speech services to 3 hours of direct speech a week, but if the staff finds that it is too much or the child can't tolerate that amount, ask if the 3 hours can be used both directly and indirectly (i.e., 2.5 hours spent directly with the child, .5 hours consulting with staff/parents, etc.). I know it is hard to believe sometimes, but the team members really do have your child's best interest at heart. I wish you all the best at the meeting.
By the way, I absolutely agree that the meeting should never go on for 3 hours! If it's not complete after 1.5 hours, I would ask for another meeting. I might also ask for an outside evaluation to help with your case.
i've been lucky. i've never had a REALLY BAD IEP meeting. i've always had someone there that knows my daughter almost as well as i do, and they help push for what i want. i live in a small town and have really good relationships with everybody working with my daughter. two of my daughter's former aides are my neighbors, and i have formed a good frienship with her preschool teacher from last year. her new special ed teacher even called me and gave me her home phone number! i am very grateful for being on such good terms with these people. i dont fear IEP meetings because they are not very stressful for me. instead, i find them annoying.
so, you have ALL of my positive thoughts!!!
You have my positive thoughts and vibes....I've had a 3 hr IEP. Yikes!!
First of all, I'm a lot better at giving this advice than I am at following it. IEP mtgs just freak me out!! Anyway, what I try to do is to be very, very firm and us lot's of "we" talk. I use (ok,ok I try) non-confronatational words but I won't back down. Like "I'm concerned that this isn't going to meet Paul's goal...." "I have a concern with that...." "Hmmm, I'm just not comfortable with that...." "Gosh, I'm just not understanding why....can you help me understand that?" "I feel strongly that Paul needs....please tell me what I need to do to make that happen".
My sister, in California, is a superintendent of a small district, she gave me this one. Go through the whole meeting, take it in. Don't make any standoffs--then at the end tell them you'll get back to them in a couple of days but you're not comfortable signing it without giving it a bit more thought. They don't like it and they might make you sign that you're not signing. But it keeps you in control. And you know where they are at. And you can formulate a thoughtful response. I only had to do that in one situation but it was a real life saver b/c I couldn't sit there and deal with the problem with all those people and it gets all negative. It worked well in my particlar situation.
I don't know. That's the stuff I try to do. I don't like that high pressure situation so I found the not agreeing to it--but pleasantly--very helpful. I sat through the whole meeting and wasn't reactive because I knew I wasn't going to sign it! They were not happy about it but I was very positive. I was then able to folloy up with the ot part which was where I had a big problem with.
Sorry I'm babbling but IEPs....shiver....they get me going!! I'll pray and vibe for you!
Here the IEP is never signed at the meeting. It helps in my case that the kids neuro attends the IEP meetings. I have never had any problem getting them services. Its more of a concern with what the district and transportation does.
Tammy
Thanks all...I appreciate that!!! I'm starting to have "IEP Anxiety" as usual...and I just want it to go well. I actually have IEP nightmares every night now since the day was set. I don't want more than he's entitled to, just what he needs, and it's so frustrating to have to fight for stuff like that...and they make stupid demands: they requested that I get a note from his GI stating "Exactly how many days he'll be out sick" I can't even believe that came out of an educated woman's mouth! (as you can tell, they don't want to offer tutoring when he misses a lot of days----which he does---he can't help it)
I do have an advocate (free-referred by the DOE by the way!!) this time...so I'm hoping he will help. I lost my closest ally, his former ST who resigned this past year.
Shakes...so true!!! When we started talking about certain specifics (that I knew would be walls) I pulled out printed text from the Illinois State Law and it did help a little...of course the SpEd Admin had her own "interpretations"...luckily the rest of the team backed me up.
Luvmyboyz...CRACK ME UP!!!!
Ames...I totally understand, and we have done that, but our district is under the "least possible we can get away with" policy....and it's just not fair...and I guarantee that my son isn't the only one who suffers from it. Can't remember what you said to him 5 minutes ago, can't add 5+2, can't use the public bathroom because the noise freaks him out, but "he's just speech impaired". I'm not a bad guy, and I'm really not as firm as I should be (all in the past I promise!) and I owe it to all his teachers to mention that everyone involved with him is SO HELPFUL and all see the needs, it's getting Ms. Moneybags SpEd Admin. to cough it up.
Michelle, belive me!!! If I find any good info...I will let you know. What a load of cr*p your son has been put through. Do you have an advocate by the way?
I have to believe I'm getting better at this...again, I keep telling them, I'm not asking for special treatment, just the RIGHT treatment. If he could follow instructions more than 1 step at a time, I wouldn't be asking for add'l help...If he didn't have sensory overload during gym, I wouldn't be asking for help...You know???? It's crazy...
I appreciate the good thoughts though....I really really really do! Thank you so much.
~Lesley
Here we don't even sign IEPs...only to say we were there...go figure that one!
Tammy, how did things turn out for you with the whole ESY situation? I never heard an update...
Thank you Sunny & MyPaul....good tip by the way, if I think to myself ahead of time that I can mull it over for a few days (I'll only have 5 before the start of school) --- maybe that will keep me from "slapping" her verbally.
~Lesley
Well he is getting in home services to make up for the week he lost. But with his latest blood test his depakote level is at 31 and it should be at 51. So we have upped the depakote by one capsule. Then we will take his blood again to see what the level is at. Previous experience with this has shown us that if the depakote is too low he tends to have more aggressive behaviours. Now the school, lol, have to wait until the end of August to even schedule his IEP meeting. But if they have summer school at the same location next summer as they did this summer, I will have to put up with the same aggressive behaviours. Seems like I might have to put a call into his old teacher and get him onboard in training the current teachers on how to deal with him. Oh the fun never ends, lol.
Tammy
Yikes! Maybe that did contribute huh? Not that it excuses what they've done. Glad to hear they're doing something though to make up time...When does he start school again? Before the IEP meeting? or do you have one in place from the previous year? As for summer, ugh, so far away but it always sneaks up on us...If you have a good teacher from the past that's willing to help you, that sounds like a goldmine!!! Good luck! I truly hope he has a better year!
~Lesley
School starts in September. And I believe the IEP has to be redone in October anyway. So if we go ahead and do the IEP earlier, what harm is there? Unless they are thinking they would have to have it at the same time the next school year, which isn't my concern. They should learn to adapt.
Tammy
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