Hi Mominca! It sounds like you have a daughter who is doing very well. Her language isn't delayed, she's making friends - this is all really, really good. However, you indicate that there are a few areas of concern. There is an online test at Childbrain.com you can fill out. It's not a diagnosis, but it is pretty accurate for determining if a child is on the spectrum.
http://www.childbrain.com/pddassess2.html
Good Luck!
Autism is a SPECTRUM disorder, and not all people have severe, debilitating autism. Your daughter sounds like she's successful at school and even "a joy to have around" so you should be very thankful for that. It's possible to have autistic tendencies, Asperger's Syndrome, High-Functioning Autism, or autism that improves with time. The "A-Word" doesn't have to be a concrete, frightening, and unchanging hopeless diagnosis. You're doing the right thing by researching it and asking questions, but stressing and worrying is counterproductive and harmful to you. Try not to panic. Your daughter will be the same smart, sweet girl with or without an autism diagnosis. Nothing will change but perhaps the way you look at her.
Discovering Asperger's Syndrome and autism was like a revelation for me. It can be comforting to know that there's a reason for certain behaviors and feelings and that others are sharing your experience, especially when you've been called "spoiled" "weird" "narcissistic" and "emotionally weak" all your life. Communities like this one offer comfort and support for the problems you may have just attributed to your child's unique quirks or personality flaws. I know the word "autism" carries with it so many terrifying (and often false) statistics and prognoses, but each ASD person is unique. No other disorder I can think of can show up in as many forms and levels of severity as autism, which is why it's called a spectrum disorder. Each person with the disorder truly has unique characteristics, strengths, weaknesses, and outlooks for the future. It may sound ironic, but you should be THANKFUL for the knowledge and awareness about autism today, as many, many adults went undiagnosed and have suffered unimaginable problems due to the ignorance of others. Hans Asperger's work went untranslated for over 40 YEARS and wasn't added to the diagnostic criteria until 1994!
Use your knowledge of autism to help your daughter and yourself, not to label her and try to predict her future. Early intervention is key, but even without any special treatments/therapies, many autistic children grow into happy, functioning adults with time and socialization.
Take care of yourself and know that we're all here to answer any questions you may have. Good luck! :)
Welcome!
It sounds like your daugher has some autistic traits, but so do many people. As others have said, autism is a pretty broad spectrum. I have a nephew who is 8 that definitely exhibits some ASD traits. My sister had him evaluated and he is not ASD. He currently has an IEP because of issues with pragmatic speech and he gets speech 1x/week for that specific issue only. He's doing well in school, is making friends, etc. I just spent 2 weeks on vacation with him, and I can definitely see traits but I agree not enough for a dx.
Re: flapping. It's very common for all children to do some hand flapping. I have some video from a few years ago where my NT son was jumping up and down flapping because he was excited about something. What sets "autistic flapping" apart from "regular flapping" is the frequency, intensity and duration. The vast majority of autistic behaviors are what I call "NT behaviors on steriods." For example, all kids occasionally spin themselves around until they get dizzy. It's a part of being a kid and is very normal. However NT kids don't typically spin themselves around to get dizzy 10 times per day, every day.
It can't hurt to get an evaluation.
Hi mominca,
My son has only recently been diagnosed with HFA (mild autism) so I can totally relate with what you are going through. I especially agree with the part where you talk about the things which you do not think fall on ASD spectrum. I used to think the same. Thats precisely why an evaluation should be done asap.
My son is highly affectionate, he loves attention, he loves 'playing' with children meaning chase n tumble and roughhousing. His eye contact is not bad, he 'talks' all day long meaning lots of repeated speech and some spontaneous speech emerging. He does not have any obcessive behaviours, never lined up toys.
My son also does not understand emotions, he becomes highly upset if I am distressed or the baby is crying. He is over active, inattentive and finds it very difficult to wait for things. He is clueless in social situations (his biggest deficit). He is oblivious to the concept of cause and effect and has no concept of danger whatsoever. He screams a lot and has lots of sensory issues going on. He did not know how to play with toys, mostly enjoyed trains and mehanical toys, symbolic/pretend play is emerging now.
So you can see that autistic kids have difficulties in communication, socializing and difficulty in imagination. Other than that its a huge spectrum and a kid can fall anywhere. There are lots of myths about autism (like they cannot maintain eye contact, they are not affectionate, they are aloof etc etc). Its best to seek an official evaluation and to get some answers.
If you get a dx, yes it will be difficult, but it will also be EMPOWERING... you can then understand your child and do the best for them. All the best!
Mary What sets "autistic flapping" apart from "regular flapping" is the frequency, intensity and duration. The vast majority of autistic behaviors are what I call "NT behaviors on steriods." For example, all kids occasionally spin themselves around until they get dizzy. It's a part of being a kid and is very normal. However NT kids don't typically spin themselves around to get dizzy 10 times per day, every day. [/QUOTE] EXACTLY!! Mary You don't have to figure it out yourself before getting her evaluated. The teacher is puzzled and raised your concern, and that concern isn't going to go away unless you have her evaluated. Start with your school district, and your daughter will quickly get help for any delays they may identify. Before the evaluation, continue to make observations. That childbrain quiz is a great way to do that. Be specific about your concerns when you talk to the evaluator. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful little girl, with a lot of positives going for her. Good luck with everything. Hello. I am looking for some answers and I really hope I can get some tonight. I feel like a desperate Mom. I have a daugher that is four years old, almost five. We have had some hard times but in all honesty it has gotton a lot easier lately. I am still concerned though. Looking back, I always knew something was different about my daughter but I didnt ever think she could be autistic. My head is spinning right now. This all started with my daughters preschool. We had a parent/teacher meeting and all was going great. They showed me her progress and told me how much of a pleasure she was. Then the aid chimed in and mentioned how facinated my daughter was with spinning objects and we talked about her flapping while she watched them moved. I was not surprised by this because she has been doing this since she was one. But, I did get surprised when she brought up autism. It was so casual. Almost like I should know already. After she was done telling me this, she decided to say that she was not a professional and she was not able to diagnose. She told me that my daugher has such wonderful qualitites that she was really puzzled and unsure if I should consider an evaluation. I am stunned to say the least. My next step was the internet. I have been reading nonstop since yesterday. I have been going over the red flags again and again trying to piece this all together. What worries me most is her past. I tried to think of her as a baby and I do remember subtle things. She gave me her first words at 10 months but they were all objects, never mama or dada. She didnt say mama until two and a half. I had to teach it to her. She was so hyper as a baby. Everyone noticed and at times I was embarrased by it. She hardly ever slept unless she was put in the car first. I was lucky to get an afternoon nap. I remember getting in the shower when she was a toddler before she woke up and sometimes I would forget to turn off the alarm. Once my shower was over and I realized the alarm, I would jump out to go turn it off and I was always stunned to see that my daughter slept through it. I always thought that was odd. I never thought she was deaf and I cant remember a phase of her not responding to her name. She does fine with this now. She used to line up her toys. Not perfect strait lines and she would not care if someone moved her pieces but it was like she didnt know how to play. I can say for sure that she lacks imagination. She likes to play with things that have a purpose. She liked blocks and now she loves the computer. She never took to baby dolls or doll houses. The flapping has been around for years. I knew it was different but not a sign something was wrong. She does it all the time to things that excite her. She enjoys things that spin and will get really close to it. At her school she has a wheel on the playground. She sits infront of it and flapps with her face almost touching it. On the other hand, she does have somethings that dont sound like asd to me. Her eye contact is good. She seeks out kids all the time and she made some good friends at school. She is planning a birthday party and is very excited to have them come. She is a very sweet and loving little girl. I mentioned this autism worry to my family, they think I am crazy. I dont think they know what I know though. I am really afraid. She does not need sameness or routine and her melt downs are pretty age appropriate. She also does not care if she is touched and loud noises do not bother her. She loves crowds and likes attention. Her speech is not behind but I do worry about things like repeating us when she was younger and using a lot of memorized speech. She does not always make sense and she talks to people like they already know what she is talking about. She leaves out important details and throws names of people in without the listener knowing who they are. She does not seem to connect with her thoughts either. Its very hard for her to explain herself. I dont know here. I am in a panic and I almost wish I was still cluless to all this. I dont want my daughter to have autsim. I can see some red flags but not all. I stuck between knowing and overracting. Can someone please tell me if it sounds like my daugher is autistic? I guess my real concern is the flapping. I google flapping and all I see is autism. Can it be something else? What do I do now? I thank you all for reading my long post, I wanted to be detailed but not crazy sounding if you can understand what I mean. Thank you all. mominca, I have twin girls who are your daughters age (almost five), so I figured I'd chime in. They were diagnosed with autistic disorder at 4.0 (i.e. - full autism, not PDD-NOS or Asperger's syndrome). They are, however, considered to be mild on the spectrum - not edge case kids, but definitely in the mild zone, and they have been making a lot of progress this year, so they might be off of the autistic disorder diagnosis at this point and in the PDD-NOS range - would depend on the evaluator, I suppose (it can be subjective). I've posted these videos before, but since you're new and looking for answers, here're my daughters in various everyday settings. They were four years, nine months in the videos. I was thinking that you could view the videos to compare and contrast with your daughter. Your daughter sounds like she may be ahead with social skills compared to mine - but this sounded familiar: She does not always make sense and she talks to people like they already know what she is talking about. She leaves out important details and throws names of people in without the listener knowing who they are. She does not seem to connect with her thoughts either. Its very hard for her to explain herself. Anyways, here you go. Enjoy. http://s120.photobucket.com/albums/o192/batfish00/?mediafilt er=videos (PS - your daughter, if she's affected, seems very mild. Do not let your preconceptions of the disorder colour your thinking too much - this is not 'old school' autism like you envision. Many of these kids will do just fine.) EDITED TO ADD: I tried to filter out the pictures, but they show up even with teh filter attempt, so just ignore 'em. The videos are mixed in with the pix, or you can just select the video tab). PPS - hand flapping is not a sure diagnosis. In can be a sign of sensory integration issues (and sensory issues are found in many, if not most, autistic kids - but sensory issues can also occur in kids who have ADHD or other neurological disorders, and sensory issues can also be present in kids with no disorders) -- or it can be just a mannerism. I checked for responses first thing this morning. Thank you ladies. I have been worried and I had trouble sleeping last night. I even wanted to check for responses at 5am. My husband wa about to have a fit. I am upset because this hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel guilty for not knowing for so long and I am mad the rest of my family will not look into this with me. They think autism is black and white. I have learned so much lately and I want them to know what I know. They will not listen to me. I feel let down and almost like they think I am crazy. I want an evaluation. I am going to make phone calls tomorrow and see what I can do. I have more questions and I hope I can turn to you guys. I also hope I am not a bother. Something sparked my interest already. NT kids flap? I have never seen that before. I thought the flapping was a sure diagnosis. My daughters flap does not seem normal. She flaps everyday and has done this for years. She does not do it for an extended amout of time, mostly a few seconds. Her face is involved too, mostly her eyes. They cross. I have olny seen her flap when she is excited and happy. I thought she was over excited and did not know what to do with the energy. My biggest worry now is that she will someday be an outcast or have no friends. I dont want her to feel like this. I have been reading posts from this forum and I see girls dont make friends. Is this going to happen? Does autism mean you cant have friendships? This is a lot for me take in. I didnt have a lot of friends but I kept some close ones thoughout the years. I hope the same for her. My goal in life for her is to be happy.
So I have found the dx a blessing and helpful almost a force to help me find what to do next.
Although some may reject if you get such a dx. use it to help you find what will work best for your high functioning Daughter. Good luck.
my son is 3.5 years old, has great eye contact, is affectionate with
preferred peers and is verbal (articulation issues up the wazzoo!). he is on
the "mild" end of the spectrum.
it sounds as if your daughter is already making friends so that should
continue. she may need some extra supports in terms of school and that
is it. you won't know until you have some sort of diagnosis.
i would start with either a developmental pediatrician, neurologist, or
neuro-psychologist.
good luck!
L
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