hmm, i like kristy's advice, they should have him checked out for any abnormalities and let the experts bring up what they think, u know how to identify it probably very well, but its a sencitive subject, some parents may of course react hostil or blow ya off, not taking good advice and basicly living in denial until 1 day its 2 late.When my now 4 1/2 yr old was this little, all of my family members were concerned but everyone was afraid to approach me...I wish they had, I just couldn't see it back then, I was in such denial...when he was 2 1/2, we went for a speech eval, but got a development assessment and thank godness we did, PDD-NOS and he was in school within the month...I don't have any experience with early onset Autism. A 15 month old child that makes eye contact is still communicating. Our son was hitting all of his marks, so to speak, until after his second birthday. Then the sh*t hit the fan.
When I read your extensive post about your most fortunate meeting with the Doctor who has helped me make sense of all of the things about my son, I felt that you have made a contact who could answer these questions.
Your nephew, and his parents, are really lucky to have an advocate like you in the family.
3000 miles is nothing in the grand sceme of things. These posts travel at the speed of light.
Do you have the kind of relationship with your brother that would have him appreciate your opinion and your extensive reseach , not to mention Tzoya, who is probably the most learned person ABOUT this stuff on the planet, being an online friend of yours?
Be the Aunt and tell them how you feel. Jasper is their nephew and they are possibly open to the fact that Autism happens.
I liked Kristtys answer
Overall I definitely thin you should do something tactfully
Just talk about speech deay and how much fun kids have in early Intervention
Here's my problem: I am nearly convinced my nephew has autism.
I need to explain here that this is based on nothing but a sick feeling in
my gut, and reports of a probable speech delay. I never see the kid, as he
lives over 3,000 miles away on the east coast. His parents have never
mentioned anything to me about any developmental issues.
I just have this weird FEELING he has an ASD.
Last time I spent any serious time with him was last Christmas (5 days at
my parents) He was only 15 mo. old. But, I did mention to my parents
that I was concerned about him--I guessed he was going to have a
speech delay, because not only was he not talking--he didn't babble or
anything. He seemed normal and active, but eerily quiet. My parents
agreed, but not much weight was given to my observation as he was so
young.
A few months later, my SIL told me off-handedly that he still wasn't really
talking, so I gently encouraged her to get him evaluated to see if he
needed speech therapy. I guess they put it off. I have been bizarrely
worried about his speech, even though I never see him, and no one else
has ever mentioned it.
Now: My parents called me after spending a week with him and expressed
some concern about his lack of speech--so I forwarded them a link to a
good website about speech delays, and told them they could forward it to
my bro, if they thought it was appropriate.
ALL I COULD THINK: He has autism!!!!!. I don't know why. My brother
and I are both adopted, so there is no genetic basis for my anxiety. I
know plenty of children with speech delays and no autism--so I couldn't
understand why I was feeling so sick about my nephew.
I haven't mentioned my fear to anyone, because it would be absolutely
ridiculous to make a leap from speech to AUTISM, in a kid I haven't spent
any time with.
TODAY: My mom mentions she saw Oprah's show on autism, and she
thinks my nephew has it. Apparently she's been telling my Dad and her
friends that "something's just not right with "N" " but she couldn't
describe more than that. My heart sank, I was very conservative and
judicious when speaking to my mom, because she can be quite the
"hysteric" sometimes. Anyway, it is HUGE for my mom to say something
like that. She still "doesn't see" J's autism or understand it. She said she
was never troubled by J's development, but has been very concerned
about N's.
What I got out of her: no pointing, just arm pulling, no language except
echolalia, lots of grunting, doesn't respond to his name 4 out of 5 times.
So, my random fear is being confirmed...
But, how did I know? really subconcious recognition going on. Or I'm
just plain Psychic.
I am supposed to call them to help them understand EI, and SLP's, but I'm
finding it hard to pick up the phone, becuase I'm having so many
emotions about possible autism. My bro apprently doesn't even think his
kid has a speech delay... I'm just so nervous to call them. At this point it
would be very early and innapropriate to bring up autism to them...All I
know is second-hand...
Bleah. I need help with courage. I need help focusing on the speech
delay for starters...this is really stressing me out. Thanks for listening.
Tough spot. I would focus on getting them for a speech language eval. Once that ball starts to roll and they are "in the system" then the professionals can bring up autism and you can just be supportive sibling. If I were you I'd try to avoid being the bearer of the bad news as folks can sometimes "shoot the messenger" so to speak.
My peditrician told us that in a two year old it is often difficult to differentiate between a "delay" (gets better over time on its own) and a "disorder" (doesn't get better without treatment). The doctor said the good news though is that speech therapy in a 2 year old looks the same regardless of which it is. He said that if C had a disorder than we'd be getting a jump start by starting so early and if it turned out to only be a delay, then we'd just be speeding up the process of catching up. There is no harm to doing the therapy, especially if it through EI and free. You might want to use this rationale with BIL, throwing in the "and you wouldn't want the other kids to make fun of him for not talking" which sometimes can strike a chord with the reluctanct.
Good luck, I know this is not going to be an easy one.