Hi,
I feel like i've almost got no control over my own children, especially my autistic son. He's 5. He flushed toys down the toilet and it's blocked again. It's 35 outside, no air conditioning, i tried fixing it, but i can't. I don't see how i can afford a plumber until the end of next week.
Yesterday, he broke a window, because i wouldn't give him anymore cheese... I don't know what to do when he freaks out because I don't want him to do something or I say no...
Any suggestions on how I can be more autoritive with my kids? Thank you.
hey busymimi, does he take any meds? has this been getting worse? i would talk to you doc to see if there's something they can do. What about any therapy. We've just recently started but no miracles yet. but i'm trying to have patience. make sure you try and take some time for yourself. i know easier said than done but at least try too. take care. mom2carlo
Julian is 5 and has a meltdown like that every so often. Sometimes when he wakes up in the morning, you just know it will be one of those days. We just have to work ourselves through it. Yesterday he would not stay out of the fridge! He was being a brat, meaning I think his behaviour at that time was more closely related to his age rather than his condition. I was fed up with just ignoring and redirecting, so I took him by the hand and told him flat out "GET OUT OF THE REFRIDGERATOR NOW AND GO TO YOUR ROOM" I can't believe it still but it worked! He was a bit upset and he went to his room. I gave him about 5 minutes and I went in to see him. I asked him if he would stay out of the fridge and he said yes, I be good boy now. So I hugged him and told him I was sorry for the time out but he had to listen, etc... He said, I'm sorry mom. No more fridge. He came out of his room and the rest of the day was peaceful.
Anyway, typical discipline, as we all know very well, does NOT always work for our kids. But I don't think that entitles us to let them run wild. They do need to know their boundaries because if not, they will never succeed in life. Dang, I'm just happy we are not on meds yet!!LOL Well, not the kids, anyhow!!
I'm not saying that this will work for you, but along with all the therapy, meds, etc... I try to make sure my kids behave at least a little. A difficult task indeed! After all, I myself was a spoiled rotten brat!!! LOL
Rachelle
OMG I don't mean to be laughing but I can so relate to the toilet thing!!! My son used to flush everything we had to have our septic dug up and pumped!! Does your son go to school? Is he getting any type of therapy for his behavior?? We go through alot of agression here if we tell our son no he is also 5...although he hasn't broken a window he will grab things and throw them across the room especially if they are glass and he knows they will shatter. Things have gotten alot better since he started school and is getting therapy. One thing that we do is remove him from whatever he is doing or whatever is upsetting him sometimes I take him to a different room and hold him so he cannot hurt himself or me. I just keep calm and as he is screaming let me go I tell him I will let you go when you can calm down and use your words to tell me what is wrong. This is very hard to do and I have success with it sometimes and sometimes as soon as I let him up he hits me and runs away. This is the only way I know to stop him from hurting himself or someone else. I know how you feel I have 4 kids who don't usually listen to anything I am saying and I feel I have no control......but as soon as the kids know you have no control it will get worse!!!! Hang in there.
Nita
We converted a walk in closet to a time out room by using a half door. We used this for 3 minute time outs and you would have thought her world was ending so it got to the point we could just open the door and she would calm down. Then she learned to use her most powerful weapon, poop. But we had established the principle of a time out because we had a beanbag chair in the room. She now takes her timeout in the beanbag chair with one of us sitting beside her. She calms down in a minute or an hour or a day but she does calm down.