Bullet: no, I dont hate you for saying that :) You are right that many of the things he does are developmentally on track. Thank you for being honest in your thoughts.
He does have great non-verbal communication. My worry is that he is developing along the same lines as my older son and there are so many early similarities between the two of them. My older son also had great non-verbl communication, and gradually ignored us more and more when we called him. We even went and had his hearing tested. His hearing was perfect, he was just ignoring us a lot LOL
I have a lot of guilt about accepting everyone elses opinion that he was just a late bloomer and losing all that time for intervention. I knew something was not right with him. He was not diagnosed until he was 5 years old. So I refuse to let that happen again to my second boy. He very well may be developing normally and all this will be for nothing. But just in case I am going to push for whatever we can get. It cant hurt and may help. :)
The one thing that I have to tell myself about these people - is when they evaluate they haven't lived with this child or see this child on an everyday basis so they really don't know. I think if one of you guys & I switched kids for an hour we'd be wondering about them, but not sure either. Developmentally milestones are so hard with each kid being so different. That being said...I would (if you feel something is wrong) go to a dev ped and get whatever tests or evaluations done that you can. Grrrrr. That makes me so mad. That is what happened with my first child. He was almost 3 by the time they got on the same page and got services into place. Can you go the independant route to get assistance as you wait on EI to get with it? Everything out there says the earlier the better for treatment. Can you get EI to focus on social goals as well. Stick with your gut and keep fighting.Good for you! I wish I had been able to stick to my guns that early on. I hate when people think because they have a degree they know more. Obviously, they don't.OK, you're going to hate me for this but a lot of the things you say are normal for a 17 month old. Many do have only a few words, some are still only babbling. A lot of them do get caught up in ignoring you when they're occupied by something. At this age they're still often in the normal range for separation anxiety, have a fear of strangers and are only just starting to really notice other children as playfellows.
So if you feel your child is on the spectrum (and I do understand that a parent's gut instinct is very often right) you need to explain to them how he differs from a typically developing child. You have to look at differences, not delays, because at 17 months, like I said, many children are behind in speech and look at walking, some children walk at 9 months, others don't shift until 18 months and this is considered normal.
At 17 months it is very difficult to determine if a child is on the spectrum, particularly if they do point and interact with you to some extent. But there are things you can look at. First of all, what is his communication like? You don't need to consider how many words he's saying, but you do need to think about whether he can communicate his wants. Let me give you an example. If your son was to spill his drink what would he do? Would he look to you for help, call out to you, or would he do nothing to attract your attention over it?
Another example: You son sees a cat (or something you know he likes). Does he ignore the cat and you have to point it out and even then you're not sure he's noticed or does he look at the cat and look back to you to share that information?
Things like repetitive behaviour and playing and observable imagination will be tricky to determine now because he'll only just be starting to take off with his imagination now anyway. A lot of children don't start to pretend play until 18 months, for example. But if you can say to the EI team that his communication skills - and that includes his non verbal communication skills - are delayed or absent in comparison with other children his age then that will probably be the best thing to do for now until other aspects become more apparent.
You're doing a great job advocating for your child. I'm sorry it has been so frustrating for you. The first professional we contacted (a speech therapist) totally missed the red flags we expressed concern about -- we didn't know they were red flags for autism but knew something was up...
EI came out to day to do a screening for language and possible ASD for my 17 mo son. The poor woman, the minute she came in I made sure to tell her they did the same thing for my now 6 yo DS five years ago and they totally missed the mark with him. They said a 19 mo old who didnt even say 1 word was fine, his gross and fine motor skills were fine. Well, he has global gross and fine motor delays and overall low muscle tone. He also has Autism. So I am MAD they failed him. Doctors I took him to told me "hes a boy, they are later to talk, his big sisters do all the talking for him" etc. My gut feeling said something was wrong. Not terribly wrong, but something just wasn't right. How could all those professionals miss that?
Now I have the same feeling about my 17 mo old and its the same song-and-dance. No one will listen! The EI woman was sweet, she seemed to really like kids. BUT, according to the Denver Develpomental test, a 17 mo old who says 3 words (which is exactly how many words he says) is still in the normal range. He also stacked two blocks a few times, and pointed to a dog when she asked him where the dog was. He points to things to show us, he plays with us. He has decent eye contact.
But, he frequently ignores us when we call his name. This has gotten worse over the past 2 mo. He is interested in whatever it is he is looking at in his hand and we have to yell his name or make a noise to get him to look at us 50% of the time (she says its normal for this age. Yes, sometimes, not everyday!) He loves to spin around and around and laugh (may be just a sensory thing) He could care less about anyone outside of our family. Most of the time with other kids his age, he looks at them, maybe studies them for a min. or so, then ignores them. The EI lady said it could be that he is shy.
Ok, so I was done with her. She suggested we label things when he wanted something (DUH, weve done that since birth like every other parent) then see if he had improved in 2 mo. I told her no, I want an eval. done now, I dont want to wait 2 months. She said since our older boy was diagnosed w/ mild Autism that would be ok.
So, we have an eval. app. for a month from now, the earlies we could get. It is so frustrating to me that no one will listen to me. I am not a doctor or other professional but I KNOW MY CHILDREN! And next time someone tells me not to worry I will say "that is not possible. I feel something is not right. You are the expert in your chosen field, but I am the expert on my children. Please LISTEN TO ME!"
Sorry to rant and rave, this is such a frustrating thing! Grrrr It makes me want to pull my hair out!!!
Parents are the BEST source of information. I hate when they try to let kids
fall through the cracks! It's criminal!
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