When will he talk to me? | Autism PDD

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My little one is three and two months and we are just beginning very, very basic conversations.  When I picked him up from morning preschool today we had only half an hour to pick up lunch and eat it in the car before afternoon camp...our exchange went like this:

Me: What do you want for lunch today, Adam?

Adam: No lunch.  Play with Matthew.

(Matthew is his best friend/crush at afternoon therapy camp)

Me:  You have to eat lunch first.  Then play with Matthew.  Do you want Chicken Nuggets or Macaroni and Cheese?

Adam: First Macaroni Cheese.  Then play Matthew.  I want coke, Mommy.  Not diet coke.

Me:  How about milk or juice?

Adam: I want coke!  Go that way!!  Macaroni & Cheese that way!  Matthew that way!! No eat lunch....play Matthew!!!

LOL...it's a beginning

An example of a conversation we just had:

Me:  C we need to go inside now.

C:  Why?

Me:  Because it's getting dark and it's time for tubs.

C:  Can we skip tubs tonight?  I not so dirty.

Me:  Yes you are, you got dirty at camp today.

C:  I love camp.

Me:  Me too, I wish I could go to camp too.

C:  That's silly, grownups can't go to camp.

etc.

We're definitely not having deep philosophical conversations about life, but we are having conversations.

Thanks for posting that Kristys- i love to hear other stories from parents whose kids were verbal at 3 but non-conversational, and where they are now. My son too is making progress every day but I dream about the day he can spontaneously tell me something about his day, ask a question, etc...I know what you mean by not "knowing" your son. Ryan is my whole heart and i "know" him on a very deep level, but I want to know how hes feeling and thinking about things...I pray every day that we get there.I'm still waiting for that to happen.  My oldest son is non-verbal and my youngest is really good at short sentences but not really a "conversation" if that makes sense.

I was just wondering what age your children were when they were able to hold a basic conversation.  The thing I find the most frustrating is the lack of expressive language my son has

Me:   Are you hungry?

John:  Hungry, mommy?

Me:   Do you want peanut butter?

John:  Peanut butter, mommy?

Me:  Noodles.... John.... how about noodles?  yes or no?

John: yes........ or no.

..............sigh 

So, I am encouraged to hear that some of you have kids they grew to be more conversational.

Same here and I have waited for 18 years

 

[QUOTE=My Heart]

I was just wondering what age your children were when they were able to hold a basic conversation.  The thing I find the most frustrating is the lack of expressive language my son has

If we are looking at a story book or watching a movie, we can talk about those topics a bit, but more abstract issues - no.

Cole did speak 2 or 3 sentences to his dad on the phone about some potty training success (and loud, boisterous hooting from mom and little bro), but it was mostly one way info share and excitement.

In emergency situations, he has come to me at ages 3, 4, and 6 and said:

So when will he talk to you?  He's probably doing it now, you are just not fluent in his language yet.  When will he converse with you?  Keep giving him chances, and HE will tell you when.

One sneaky way to at least prompt a yes or no is:

I taught my son to use YES PLEASE this way, even though it is not exactly ABA.  Its actually more negative reinforcement!  If I offered him something great, but he ignored it, I came up with a couple rotten choices for the easy NO connection.  Then tossed in something kickbutt awesome for yes please.

Speak to him as as if  understands and model what he would say if he could..

I think until their receptive language increases and they have a more understanding of their world it is very hard to express themselves verbally...Sarah never communicated at 3...just labeled and answers yes or no to our prompting..it took 3 years of intense therapy to get her to converse with us..but now she remembers many things that happened when she was three very clearly and in detailed so never assume they are not taking in anything:)

Hang in there!

My son cameron (2 1/2 ) will say what he predicts me to say like "want juice"? when he wants juice. and points and can label almost anything but always sticks to the same topics- numbers, shapes, colors and the movies that he wants to watch and will say "watch shrek?", "watch einstein?" whatever. He wants to learn because he gets excited when praised but i feel so bad[QUOTE=My Heart]

I was just wondering what age your children were when they were able to hold a basic conversation.  The thing I find the most frustrating is the lack of expressive language my son has

[/QUOTE]

Are you sure you are not talking about MY son?

He does tons of labeling, has a huge vocabulary, gifted in reading, 'talk' constantly throughout the day but no conversations, mostly immidiate echolalia. Good news though is that some spontaneous language is emerging (ST is really impressed), no questions at this stage but lots of announcements like

'The baby is awake!'

'The baby is crying!' insists that I leave everything and attend to the baby rightaway or a tantrum instantly.

' I want a bath'

'Heyyy, wait for me.' In the true style of the show where he picked that up.

'Where are you going????' Really wanting to know, my favourite.

'I love you mama' when i tell him I love you Dan' This will surely top the list when he says is spontaneously. Can't wait.

Mary

SAHM to Dan, 3.8, HFA/SID/Hyperlexia and possibly ADHD

Bub 11 weeks and NT so far!

 

trains_R_us39296.8981134259At age 3.5 I too was concerned I would never be able to have a
conversation with my son. In fact, one day I asked his ST if by, say age 7,
he and I could have a back and forth dialogue. Her response was, "oh, it
will be much sooner than that". And guess what, she was right. He's 5.5
now, and I would say his ability to have a conversation similar to the one
Kristy posted started around age 5. It's been slow and steady progress,
although the one thing that really kick-started his language was the ABA
program we had in place starting at age 4.5 for about 9 months.

He can now tell me bits and pieces about his day, is very clear on his likes
and dislikes, can be "reasoned" with (most of the time), and is starting to
answer some simple "why" questions. If he's upset about something, he
generally does a pretty good job explaining as to why. He still tends to
leave out "context", but we're working on that.   I can't wait to have conversations with G too.  She will label and just started replying yes/no to questions last week!!  Before that it was no response or just ok or no no no no no ...ok we still get the no repeating.   she does the echolalia...repeats the entire question I asked her then answers it.  If she wants something she will sometimes ask me if I want it but really she wants it.  Sharlet can only label, and usually it's repeated after someone else says it.
Very occasionally she will label spontaneously for eg, watching TV and out
of the blue say "green" when she has seen green, and then nothing for the
rest of the cartoon.
I'd say 90% of her speech is prompted (and not well pronounced) , she will
scream "no" over and over if I try to make her do something she doesn't
want to do or offer her something she doesn't want.
Oh actually she has a little bit of functional speech, she will say "I want" eg.
"chippies" at the time she points to the I want and chips cards during a PECS
exchange.

Yeah, the girls couldn't have a basic conversation at that age, either.  At 4.0, they could have a conversation through one turn - that is - they could answer questions and occasionally respond on topic so someone elses statement if it was within their interests, but that was about it.

They're ability to talk 'back and forth' really came along between about 4.0 and 4.5, while attending developmental preschool.

Now, the can have basic conversations and stay on a topic through a number of turns and can very clearly express their wants and needs, but more importantly, their thoughts and interests.  They've recently (passed few months) started asking questions out of interest and curiosity (asking what words mean, asking what unfamiliar things are, etc.) rather than just to get something, which is nice.

 

fred39297.308912037

I feel much better now and I have hope that my son will converse with me when he is ready! Thank you hearing all of your stories gives me inspiration and hope.

A few people wrote that when their child wants something they will ask you if you want it.  My son does the same thing he will say: "Mama you want scooby snack? (pronouncing scooby as ooby, it is cute) he will keep repeating until I ask him do you want a scooby snack? Then he will answer in a loud voice "YES" exactly as he was taught in ST. He is trying so hard My son only started conversations with intense interventions and it started
at the age of 4 1/2. WE still work on this. I can not say enough about
modeling language 24/7. Play with him do statement-statement with him.
Teach him some starters like My name is ________ What is yr name? My
favorite color is________ What is yr favorite color? There are so many things
you need to work on in terms of language. For my son it did not come
naturally. I have noticed that when his language got better, his frustration
level went way down. They also have to have the desire for conversation as
well. Good Luck!

My daughter can discuss LOADS of very concrete topics like physics, electricity, combustion engines ... with her FATHER.

Me,  I get ... "mmmmmmaaaammmmaaaaa! I NEED YOU!" and "I need a peanut butter and honey sandwich!"  Most of the time that's it.  I am the filler of needs.  HE is the adventurous conversation partner.

If I did not eavesdrop on them, I would never know the level of conversation she is capable of! (okay of which she is capable!).

foxl39297.4111111111Oh I am going through that too. Its very frustrating. Nikolas can label lots of things, but asking about his day brings a blank stare. Even leading the questions, like did you get a new book today? brings no response. He can ask for things pretty well, he can tell me what animals live in a jungle, but he can't answer what he wants for dinner or if he had fun. It isn't give and take, its statements that are of his interest. Andrew on the other hand does, but has less words and is much harder to understand. If I say did you have fun? I get yes! Did you see an elephant? YES! But Andrew has a harder time telling me what he wants cause he has less words that he can pronounce well so I can't understand uh-uh-uh. It really emphasizes the differences between them for me.

Anthony could not have a conversastion at 3 years old.  He labeled and had a few 2-3 word sentences. Now we can have back and forth conversations.  He starts conversations, asks questions about what things are or what certain words mean.  He'll ask me questions like "Momma, you work today or you have day off?"  

He can be quite the chatter box if he's telling me about something of high interest - like superheros. 

Here is a little video of how he talks now.

My daughter did not talk at 3. When something was wrong 1/2 the time I had no idea. She would just scream My daughter is 4.5, and is not conversational. She speaks only with prompting, three or four word sentences. The funny thing is that she memorizes the entire book after we read them to her and sits there "reading" the book out loud from cover to cover! Why wont she talk to me? She is in speech therapy for only 15 minutes a week and has never had ABA or VB. I wonder if it is too late to try something else.

I can't wait for her to talk to me.
Yvonne

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