Worst advice you’ve heard | Autism PDD
I think the worst advice I ever got was that I had to accept that my three year old son will "never play major league baseball" and I had to accept he will have limitations! I think it bothered me so much because #1 he his only three years old and #2 who is anyone to put limitations on his future at such a young age!!!!My mom telling how putting her in a instituition would be good for her.WOW Shelley!!! This was harsh!!! What does she say when she sees Sarah now???? I am currently pissed of at my mom for not realizing how much stress I am under!!!Ouch!!!! Shelley that must have been hard to hear!!! I have been reading many of your posts and I think you are a wonderful caring nuturing mother based on what I have read- just as you are blessed to be Sarah's mom she is blessed you are her mom!I hand soomeone who was supposed to be a friend say that if that was her daughter she would put her in an institution . I read that link someone posted to "Where's Molly" yesterday and cried my eyes out thinking about it. Worst advice other than the "friends" was when my son (both kids are autistic) was misdiagnosed with aspergers and told to take him homeand wait and see. That there was nothing to do . LizThe most recent came during my parents visit. We live in CA and my family lives back east. My folks only come out once a year and they hardly know my kids at all. Well my youngest was putting on a show for Grandma and Grandpa, you know how kids are. He was doing things just to see if they were watching him (some good, some bad). Well my mom and dad know we can't spank the boys, I've been over this with them before. So twice while they were here they told me to spank my youngest son rather than put him in time out. Time out worked both times but I guess my parents would rather I spank. I don't know. It just made me sad and cast a bad feeling over their visit.
My mother in law told me if "you read to him more and rubbed his back and loved him more" he would be fine.
He needs more discipline. He is a spoiled brat
[QUOTE=OneMoreTimeBook]My mother in law told me if "you read to him more and rubbed his back and loved him more" he would be fine.
[/QUOTE]
Wow, that's really harsh! I hope you don't have to see MIL often.
"Stop doing everything for him and put him in preschool and he'll be fine." from the school psychologist who I asked to evaluate him for autism at age 3.
Ours was from a neuro that we saw...after asking her what kind of future she saw for Mason (and when asking I was meaning as far as his seizures...not his cognitive abilities,) anyway, her response was
"he'll be lucky if he can ever count change."
I don't ask those kinds of questions anymore!!!!!
[quote]"he'll be lucky if he can ever count change."[/quote]
THAT is inexcusable! WHY WHY WHY would a medical professional ever offer up such a flippant remark to a little boy's concerned parents?
MY mom knows which buttons to push but professionals should know better! My mom was just so unknowlegable on autism..I grew up with a neighbor~girl my age that was sent to a residential school and I only saw her maybe 3x a year..my mom said she was autistic and that and that the school did wonders for her~potty trained her & how to dress and eat independently and how much I should consider it for Sarah...I almost hung up on her but needed her too bad at that point in my life:( ...she understands much more now and has had to hear every little skill, worry and set back for over 4 years now so she is totally forgiven!I never ever even brought it up again! Best to be the bigger person..I got to see miracles come true in Sarah so I cant be bitter:) She is a gift:)Just stop talking English to him. Speak only Norwegian to him and all his problems will be solved.Since we just had a rundown of the worst autism theories (I think'refrigiator mother' got the most votes), I'd be interested in the worst/
saddest advice you have heard or gotten.
I'll start:
Just after my ds was diagnosed, the first book I read on autism adviced
to buy cheap frames for your kids glasses. It said that your kid was going
to get beat up so much in school that they will be expensive to replace
over and over. I cried for an hour after reading that and it still makes me
want to. I don't want to know how any author could have ever become so
jaded as to accept assault on a kid as a fact of life. That's horrible. I think the worst advice I've ever gotten was to spank him when he has meltdowns. I can't bring myself to strike this child. My neice got mad at me one day because I wasn't trying to comfort him when he was melting down after eating bbq sauce for the first time. I tried to explain it to her...touching him or talking to him during that time just makes things worse.When I went to the pediatrician to try to get a referral for an autism evaluation. The pediatrician told me that dd just needed to go to daycare!!!!!If he was my son, I would get him potty trained if I had to duct tape him to the seat
Most of the time people are ok. The only one that really stands out was a woman who said "you just have to give him lots of hugs". Because I hadn't thought of giving him attention, honestly
After several hours of testing, the ped. sits me down and tells me that Sam is OCD and ODD and although he clearly tests in the range suggestive of ASD she has her doubts because he refused to play with filthy, chewed-on action figures - she wanted the boy doll to feed the mommy doll garbage
We went to another Doc, got dx PDD-NOS. Sadly, I've heard story after story of this Ped. treating parents of ASD kids being treated like we were out for the money, not answers. I live in a small community and she's the only one around. I'm thankful Sam is so healthy cause the next nearest Ped. is 5 hours from here. Amberwaves - Nerves of Kryptonite (to listen to your mom say such cruel words) Mama to Sam 8 yrs PDD NOS OCD ODD PPD maisa, AMAZING! We used to have a witch-hunting (well, Malingerer-hunting) physician -- actually adult neurologist -- at the teaching hospital I am associated with. Unfortunately she had quite a following among the students. She once de-diagnosed a friend's relative ... with disastrous results! Ugh. from our family and from our so called 'church family' - nothing. absolute silence. no response, not a phone call, not a card, not a 'I am thinking of you' not a damn thing!
BTW: before kids I worked with kids w/spec. ( including ASD) in Elem. schools. Mom seems to think that going back to work for /hr and hiring someone to work with Sam at /hr is a better solution than staying home and doing what I know with my own child. I think this *study* reflects the idea that ASD is genetic and "Aspi-ish" parents may have "Autie-ish" babes, (which I agree with) I strongly disagree that me working 40hrs/wk outside the home would have benefitted Sam. Mama to Sam 8 yrs, PDD NOS OCD ODD PPD. Hey thats great advice idiot..
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