What Would You Do Differently? | Autism PDD

I wish I would have put our youngest son on the state's waiver list for ABA when he was 2 (or even sooner!). I thought the Birth to 3 program and the district's pre-school program would do the trick. I was wrong. I also wasn't aware of the length of the wait for ABA services. If I had to do it all over again, I would have committed to obtaining ABA sooner. WIMomOf239296.7518171296

I really do not think anything is our fault. We can not blame ourselves for something that we can not control. Genetics are a role however, there is something else cuasing it as well. Until that is determined we have to focus on the fact that those of us on this message board care enough about our children to make a difference. I just can not imagine how many people out there have autistic children and do nothing about it.

Looking back I wish I had taken him to a dev ped when we knew he was not understanding language rather than people, even doctors telling us he would catch up.

Even when his hearing was tested fine, he was still so distressed going into social situations and covered his ears, I wish we had looked into it further.

I wish we had trusted our instincts and pressed for an evaluation when he was not responding to his name and generally looked as if he was not hearing.

I wish I had sought out an OT to see why he was unable to sit for a minute and moved constantly, to start a sensory diet for him to make it easier for him. I did not know.

These are my biggest regrets.

Mary

What is so interesting is that Kiki liked those baby Einstein videos too! Now she hates them at age four. Now I am wondering if I would do anything differently, and it is hard to think...I guess I should have read more to her, talked more to her, but I don't know...I actually don' t have anything that I would go back and change. Haha there is A LOT that I want to change RIGHT NOW though.

I think that at my sons 12 month Dr appt he had bronchitis and I would go back now and insist that he not get immunized that day, although they insisted it was fine. After having a DD that wanted to interact, I was happy to not have to interact all the time and was impressed he could self sustain play. At 18 month visit when I voiced concern, I wish I would have not listened to the dr tell me he was just a late blooming boy and let's "wait and see".

Not much, actually.

I might have educated myself more, earlier about developmental delays, and about school processes, if anyone had mentioned the A-word, or even ASD to me, or pointed me toward reading materials. But then ... I would've WORRIED more too.

I might've pursued more services between 3 and Kg, too. But I probably would NOT have gotten them ... so WTH!

ETA: STILL wish I could play more, with her ...

foxl39297.3061921296I would have done everything differently. Too much time in the johnny jump up and saucer and in front of the tv, would have pushed harder for intervention and not listened to the they are premature they will be fine comments by the dr. But then I didn't know the things then I know now, so how could have I known the drs were wrong. They were 2.5 before any intervention was started and even then there was still no speech. I would never have sent them to that ridiculous school in DC. And I don't know if I would have sent them to this one either. The list goes on and on. But I can't go back and undo or redo things. And there were many things out of my control. I don't like doing this cause then I just beat myself up with the if onlys. All I can do is try to learn and push forward as best I can.

I feel like this is all my fault because of inconsistency. we moved 4 times and he is only 2 1/2 years old. i think if i had more structure and more of a schedule for him he would be better now. its so frustrating i wish there was something more than all the therapy that they could do. i wish this was just curable. i dont understand. its still amazing to me that this is an actual disorder and milllions have the same patterns and symptoms as my son. i thought he was just "slow at speech" and being a 2 year old boy but i guess i was wrong. im kinda freaked out how many similarites my son has to a lot of the children i read about on here and he didnt even get diagnosed yet but i just know

I think in our case genetic has nothing to do with ds, and I would choose not to vaccinate him, to late now:-(((((

Although Im a firm believer in autism as primarily a genetic disorder, I feel as though there were activities I had Ryan participate in as a baby that, looking back, probably did not enhance his development. A few examples:

he LOVED those baby Einstein videos and as a result I let him watch more of them than he probably should have (time would have been better spent getting him to interact).
I also read the same 3 books to him every night- I probably should have switched them up.
I let him sit in that bouncy-seat thing all day and hed just rock back and forth for hours, whenever I wasnt holding him

Dont get me wrong, Im not at all placing blame on myself for any of these things, nor do I think anyone else should ever do that to themselves, but now that i have a newborn, Im going to be much more likely to engage her in a variety of activities to promote social skills at a younger age.

What things, looking back, would you have done differently had you known your child had an ASD and for those of you with an ASD child with a younger sibling, did you change your behaviors at all?

I wouldnt have really changed anything, I played on the floor with her Alot. I think though that If I could go back I wouldnt have propped her bottle, I would have held her more and enjoyed the interaction. I would always prop her bottle and continue cleaning or doing whatever else I was doin. I would have played more w/ him and I would have let him write /scribble. I was afraid he would hurt himself so I never let him try to write until he was 4. We didn't know he was Pdd-nos until about 10 yrs old.I would've MADE those doctors who thought I was too overprotective EAT THEIR WORDS and actually DO SOMETHING WHILE HE WAS YOUNGER instead of tell me that he's a boy and he'll develop later...yada yada.

Hi- just want to clarify that I think genetics were the primary cause of ASD in MY son, Im sure others have a different view of the cause for their own kids.

Also, KajoliT- my son also had a ton of ear infections and antibiotics as a baby before we had tubes put in his ears. I think that this exacerbated things for him....he seemed to hit a wall in development when the ear infections started. That mixed with a genetic dispositon is what i believe caused the autism, but Ill never have any way of knowing for sure.

I remember when our son was 17 -- 24 months old my husband and I would brag to people that he was so self confident and secure that he would play for hours on end by himself. Looking back, I wish I would have insisted he engage with us more.

But, honestly, how were we to know?

Well I wish I would not have put him id daycare- we sarted day care at 1 - he was so sick and had 6 rounds of Antibiotics - 3 rounds of the really strong Rociphen

I would have got the vaccines separated

Not let him watch so many Baby Einstein

We defineitely have a genetic predisposition to odd/quirky stuff so I dont know if all this would have helped or not

KajoliT39296.2835532407I would not let him zone out with the pacifier so much.
I would have/ should have gotten to a specialist around 3 because I knew
he wasn't comprehending language. We had twins when he was 3 and
that whole year was lost in screaming babies and sleep depravation. On
the one hand I wish I hadn't missed stuff that year but on the other hand
his sisters have been his best therapy since.
I just wish I had known a lot more about autism than I could have figured
it out for myself a lot sooner. I mean I studied psychology and had
classes in child developement - how come I knew semesters worth about
Freud and Jung but not anything about red flaggs for autism?!This thread makes sort of sad.... because I see so many of us looking back with so much guilt. Me included. The truth is, I made some mistakes. I was new to motherhood and had no clue about autism. But I really tried hard, I really did the best I knew how. And I know you all did too. Truth is, there is no magic wand. I wish there were.[QUOTE=tkny12]

Hi- just want to clarify that I think genetics were the primary cause of ASD in MY son, Im sure others have a different view of the cause for their own kids.

[/QUOTE]

In my son too - I know genetics played a key role as we have a bunch of undiagnosed ASD in my family but those 4 months January 2006-March 2006 were a constant round of antibiotics and diarrhea and keeping the TV on to keep him happy -

I am haunted by what in retrospect seems a wrong decision - how I wish I gotten a nanny or put him in a home day care where there were fewer kids - he hated going to daycare too and I kept thinking he will adjust

I know I need to get over it and for the most part I am

But I wish I could go back and change some things - like if someone would wave a maigic wand and we would rewind to November 2005 and DH and I knew what was coming

KajoliT39296.2888541667

I would not have thought that the school was nuts when at age 3 they told me to take him for a private consult because they couldn't help him.

I personally don't think that letting him stare at lights and be by himself, and spin for hours on the sit and spin has anything to do with how he turned out. I think no matter what he would be the same. I just think that earlier intervention would have helped him progress quicker.

Sarah was a "teletubbies" baby in the bouncy walker thing with wheels..and we allowed her to watch way too much ....she fussed the moment they were not on TV so it seemed they were in the background for 2 years..we even took the videos to people's homes and vacations and when she had night terrors they were the only thing that snapped her out of them.

...she also was totally content to be alone and actually resisted me getting her out of her crib in the morning. Hindsight I should of seen the signs but had no clue..I would of been in her personal space much more than I did.

If I could...no vaccines either.

I wish we had taken it more seriously when he gazed at ceiling fans and
insisted on going to places that had them.
I wish we did not let him lay down on the floor to play with his cars and
trains.
I too wish that we did not let him watch so many Baby Einstein videos.
I wish he did not give him anti-biotics at 3 months.
I should have insisted that my son get an evaluation at 18 months.
I wish I shared my concerns about my son with two friends who had asd kids
much earlier than I did.

If I could turn back time .....

Vaccines, only one at a time.

Give him more time and one on one interaction.

Concernedpa.