Our family goes to my in-laws every weekend and I sense that he feels my son is a nusense to him or maybe a brat that needs more decipline. We just found out my son has PDD-Nos this Feb. he is now 7yrs. old and I'm still learning and sometimes I think I know about it but then I can't even explain it to someone else what it autually is. anyways my father in law treats my son differently than my 2yr. old and my baby, I told everybody about his dx and that was that no mention of wanting to really know more. My mother-in-law is okay she did'nt ask for more info but has patience for him and does'nt treat him any different she loves him.It's just little things I notice like yesterday we were at the table and he was next to my younger son giving him something to drink and Benny was trying to tell him something and was a little to close (you know not knowing his space). He told him to move and then just started saying it over and over in a ugly voice after Benny did'nt respond right away. He's the type that believes you should only tell a child one time of what is expected and they should do it right away. He does't get that just b/c my son is 7, his mentality is'nt. It just made me upset and after he left the table I started to cry b/c of course it's going to hurt me cause he's my son. I did'nt say anything b/c I felt like I was going to explode
Kelly HI I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I THINK WE FEEL THERE PAIN MORE THEN THEY DO! I JUST WANT TO YELL AT PEOPLE SOMETIMES. MAYBE GIVE YOUR IN LAWS A BOOK I GAVE MINE "TEN THINGS EVERY CHILD WITH AUTISM WISHES YOU KNEW" ITS A EASY READ. MAYBE IT WILL GIVE THEM MORE UNDERSTANDING. I agree with MYSUNSHINE's suggestion to give them a copy of "Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew." I've given it out myself. Here's a link to a condensed version you can print out. http://www.ellennotbohm.com/ten_things_article.html#top Woodsman25 said Even when I was growing up, i had no theripy, they said he has HFA throw him in special ed, they probably assumed i would grow up to be nothing, nobody. Instead of behavior modification, or ABA, if I stimed, or said something strange or did something bad, like melt down, i would get grounded for it, cause I was being 'bad' ive also had my shair of @$$ kickings from my father, was he wrong to do this? I honestly dont think so, i beleive dispite having a disorder, u cant use it as an excuse in life to behave differenly, i could never do that to my kids, but I sure can punish, i loved the outdoors, and having that taken away was bad enough, the kick was reserved for extreme cases, meltdown typically, ill tell ya, i did not have many of them, that got repressed, i dont know if thats good or not. I'm not trying to excuse my son's behavior b/c of his disorder or have them treat him different b/c he has PDD, but instead want family that is closest to him to have more patience with him. At first my dad thought I needed more disipline for my ASD son. I told him, go ahead and try to do it your way for a day. My dad tried to be stern, but quickly realized it was much deeper than even a man with four grown kids could handle. The funny thing is, my dad and my son have a special bond, now. My son is the only one who can play with his hair and pull his ears, and get away with it!
Its a generation gap, hes set in his ways, i hope u can convey to him how u feel, but i bet hell never understand, he does not beleive in it, i do feel tho, if i was in your shoes not only would i tell him sincerely how i felt, but also, if he cant treat him decently, then I would not want him interacting with any of my kids, its rough having a generation gap, but he needs to respect your wishes, they r your kids first and his grand children secondly.
Even when I was growing up, i had no theripy, they said he has HFA throw him in special ed, they probably assumed i would grow up to be nothing, nobody. Instead of behavior modification, or ABA, if I stimed, or said something strange or did something bad, like melt down, i would get grounded for it, cause I was being 'bad' ive also had my shair of @$$ kickings from my father, was he wrong to do this? I honestly dont think so, i beleive dispite having a disorder, u cant use it as an excuse in life to behave differenly, i could never do that to my kids, but I sure can punish, i loved the outdoors, and having that taken away was bad enough, the kick was reserved for extreme cases, meltdown typically, ill tell ya, i did not have many of them, that got repressed, i dont know if thats good or not.
Ok... im rambling now, but thats how I feel, he sees the world very different, in his day children were to be seen and not herd, i dont understand it eather? but that was what it was like, these r modern times and I beleive he is more of a problem then your poor son who obviously cant help himself and just wants to communicate, talk to him.
(My dad use to hate that.) It also gave my dad more tolerence. I say you have to be a little paitient with your in-laws too. Educate them, let them try things, and soon they will have their own bond too.
Copyright Autism-PDD.net