Hi Kate,
Here it is....your official........
WELCOME TO THE BOARD!!!! lol
Glad to have you here. I've enjoyed reading your posts. I'm Karrie...I have 3 kids. 13 year old boy with adhd and ocd. 11 year old girl NT. 3 year old boy with Autism and another boy on the way any day now!! Take care and will look forward to reading more about you and yours.
Karrie
Hi Kate and welcome I can relate to alot of what you say, my kids dad (we live together but aren't married) is about as much help as another child!!! He loves the kids and means well but thinks it is all my responsibility!! I also am mad at myself for letting my son go undiagnosed too. But I have gotten over alot of those feelings because of this forum and the helpful people!!! I hope you feel the same way!!
Nita
thanks karrie, now i feel loved! thanks nita, glad i'm not alone!
kate
anyone else?
kate
hi all, i am new here. i've been looking for a few days but have not been able to introduce myself. i am the mom of 5, 2 very advanced teens, a 7 y.o. son w. add, a 4 y.o. HFA/adhd, and a 12 mo.old baby girl.
my dh and i are 21 years married, this month. he is a "traditional" dad, meaning he does nothing for the kids, periodically puts one down for a nap, but that means that he get 2 take a nap 2. i am still in the "disecting & diagnosing every aspect of all of my kids" phase.
trying to re analyze if my 7 year old is REALLY JUST add, or if he could have been mis diagnosed.
i have a few ?'s:
do any of your kids take strattera? how do you get them to take it, ours is a nightly battle.
how about bm's? keith is just beginning to go bm in the potty. i realized that he has a fascination with sprays, so everytime he would poop in his pants, in his room, i would clean up and spray the room down. so i offered to him, that if he pooped in the potty, i would let him spray the room to smell better. it seems to work, now he comes to ask to let him spray smell good, and that tells us he has to poop....make sense? i am sure to only this community, it would make perfect sense, right?
also, i figured out, that when he or the baby pooped, we would react to "oh, what's that smell, and he was learning a shameful kind of stigma to the act, so he would hide to do it, and liked the act of spraying to wash the bad smell away. man, if i had only known 2 years ago!
well, my dh, is still in the "bust his butt and he'll stop throwing that fit" realm and i am ready to call dr. phil!
keith just started dd preschool this week, and he has taken to the new routine so well. he can't wait to go to school, loves the bus, and is happy to come home. he is in with 4 other children 2being autistic. feel free to ask me any ?'s, can't wait 2 get 2 no some of you and share our bumpy roads 2gether. i sometimes feel so alone, b/c my dh feels like i should get so much done in a day, and really has no idea what keith requires as far as attention and skill. i also feel such a failure sometimes b/c he went undiagnosed for so long. i knew something was amiss when he was 2, but everyone told me i expected him to be 2 much like my older 2 who are quite different from him. i always said either my milk was spoiled or my eggs were rotten, but my dh just thought i was letting him b a spoiled brat/ neglecting keith when he would steal the sugar bowl and hide under the dining room table to eat the sugar out of the bowl. i dunno--stress stress, stress, i am just so thankful to have found a community that might understand some of what i am going through and people that would not make me feel like a complete failure as a mother. kate cheryl, thanks for responding. i almost feel relieved having him dx'd. even though it is nothing i would pray 4, i feel like "yes, there is something wrong w/ him. i am not crazy", i knew there was something! finally, some one to listen to! well, that's why they call it PRACTICING medicine. the only profession where they can be totally wrong and still get paid really well, and not get fired, for no KNOWINg what they are treating...hmmmmm kate
My dh of 24 years left 3 months ago but I can tell you he was very much
like that as well. Mine used to come home from work when our son was
first dx, in early intervention and the new baby was only a few weeks
old and ask why I hadn't washed the floor etc LOL.
I found it very hard that he didn't understand and didn't want to
know. I tried to get him to read about Autism but he said he
didn't have time and then would pick up a novel 5 minutes later LOL.
Eventually the psych said he had Autism too which helped me to understand but didn't make it any easier to cope.
Sometimes when someone is telling you you are useless all the time you
start to believe them. I went into hospital for a tonsillectomy
and my dh had to look after the kids for two days. Well he wouldn't
acknowledge that it was hard but I noticed that he didn't give me a
hard time anymore about the housework lol.
I also have very high standards for myself but because of the stress
there were days that even when I had time I couldn't get anything done.
I eventually decided that if it could wait another day then it did. I
would concentrate on getting one room clean and tidy that I could
retreat to. And that I would give myself a break and stop comparing
myself to mums who didn't have to cope with what I had to.
I remember watching Joyce Meyer last week and she had this rocking
chair on stage. She was rocking in it and using a bit of effort but not
getting anywhere. She said that when we keep looking back at the past
and the things that go wrong we use a lot of effort but don't get
anywhere.
I am sure that you did your best with getting a diagnosis for your son,
you aren't a trained health professional, and guilt as much as it can
be seductive is not a nice place to live. I also knew something was
wrong with my son from a young age. I even took him to some people from
the age of 1 but I chose the wrong type of health professional to ask.
They sent me away telling me I was neurotic and for years I felt guilty
I didn't do more. I realised that even the professionals get it wrong
and they are trained so what chance do we have.
I am sure you are doing a fabulous job and we could all improve in some areas and I am sure that you will just as I did.
Chin up and welcome again.
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