Have to vent!!!!!! Why is it that when I take my children out to a store/restaurant people give me looks or even say something to me or my kids like I am just a bad mother with bad kids.
We went to a store last week and Kaleb gets a little overstimmed with the bright lights so he was hand flapping and making some loud noise, nothing too bad. An employee came over to him saying repeatively "Young man that is not nice at all , that is no way to act young man". I wanted to beat this woman, but we ended up just leaving and me being upset.
Then, we went to Pizza Hut a few days later and my younger son was humming, not too loud, when some man turned around and looked at us slamming his hand down, I flipped out at him that time.
You know, if our kids looked disabled or were in a wheelchair, none of this would be going on. Just because they look "normal" people assume we are to blame. I really want to do something about this, I guess it's autism awareness. Maybe I should carry the autism awareness cards with me and give them to these people. I feel that this discrimination can and should not be tolerated. Any suggestions or similar stories.
Sorry I'm super p***ed off!
Kelly
belive it or not, i dont care when people look at my child as he is not disiplin as much as it hurts me when they look at him as a returded child . or crazy kids who talks to himself non stop. that hurts me mor than any thing else
5 years boy autism
You can educate people by verbally telling them your child has autism..but then you might have to go into all the symptoms and the whole spectrum of it all...or you can ignore them..they do have business cards that state "my child has autism and lists all the symptoms associated with the disorder..this would be good as you wouldnt have to say a word but give them the card.. They would think twice next time they wanted to judge anothers child. I found this link for them:) http://www.autismcards.com/
Good luck:)
Before T was dx'd, I really, REALLY did not know what I was seeing. Yesterday a technology person actually HAND-FLAPPED at me! I see people who are spectrum-y, here, all the time now. And respect them more than ever, for having gotten where they are.
We simply need more public education. I udnerstand the temptation to use buttons or cards, but ... I think we need an overal lunderstanding, more!
MiMom said: "I try really hard to be civilized and think how I would feel if I didn't know about ASD. The sad truth is, I'd be just like those people who stare and wonder. Is it the parent? Do they need disipline? etc, etc. I try to let these experiences be learning ones. I don't always like to blame behaviors on my son's diagnosis, but it is fact."
AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!! This is exactly how I feel.
MomofCurtis said: "honestly I'm more concerned with doctors being educated about autism"
Also, YES, YES and YES!!!!! It took me MANY doctors visits and going to a seperate clinic before Ali's pediatrician would recognize Ali's disorder. Most people have no clue. When Ali went for her 1st dental appointment I listed high functioing autism and sensory processing disorder under her med. conditions and the dentist asked what they were
Kelly
I remember being when my son was about 4 and I was a store and there was a woman looking at something on a shelf and my son ran in front of her. She was huffing and puffing and I walked over and asked what he did to her and she said nothing so I asked again what happened and she explained how he ran in front of her almost knocking her over. I told her that even though I should'nt have to make excusses for him that he was autistic. She appologized to me and was noticably embarrased. I then told my son to appologize to her and he did. I told my son that it was rude to do that and to be more carefull. Just have patience. Not everyone knows what autism is and not everyone has walked in our shoes. I know that when my girls where toddlers, I used to see other kids acting out and I used to say I would never let my kids behave that way and then my son came along and wow what a lesson I learned.
I completely agree with you about how it would be easier if they looked disabled-I get many dirty looks, and have been asked to leave several public places when in the community with the kids I work with. however, when I'm with the kiddoes who have Down Syndrome and Autism it is always easier-people see the typical facial characteristics and give us so much leeway.We've gotten our fair share of that, too. Specially in places like the mall, or the doctor's office. You just sort of find yourself used to it, y'know? I figure heck, if they've not got anything better to do than stare at us while we're out, I don't mind giving them suggestions to take up knitting, or soduku puzzles. :D
It used to really bother me when we were out, at first, like somehow I'd failed. Then I got to the point where, I'd be like "Uh, he's autistic. He can't help it. I'm sorry" - But now I figure, why should I apologize, for something he can't help. And I certainly am determined to not feel inadequate in some stranger's eyes. But that might just be my stubborn streak :D Lol
I agree about the visible signs though. That would be so much more clear, and you'd sure get a lot less silly people staring and making useless comments.
And good for you, Loki! That's how it should be
I have a sister with a visual disability so I have been getting those looks all of my life. I don't even notice them anymore. With ds he is still young but very big for his age (26 months and 38 1/2 inches tall and 39 lbs.) So I am getting those looks because of the binky and his lack of speech. I pretty much ignore them but I think that the cards are a good idea too.I have First hand Experience with both ,My Oldest son in a wheelchair,(passed away 10 years ago,at 16),and my son with ASD.
Whith my first son it was looks and comments like ,bless her hart ,she must be a saint,poor little thing,ect....
Now ,well you know.
Linda