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I spank. I bet you don't!!!! I was VERY anti-spanking, but getting a kid at 2 changes everything -- you must use what he responds to, unfortunately. We try to minimize it.
Time-ins, in the same room, is one possibility. Or depriving him of a toy, or activity? My DH puts a toy in timeout! VERY effective.
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Hmmm - Putting a favorite toy in time-out - Great Idea!
I would love to be able to employ a "chair" or "time-out" type of deal, but he just won't do it. Long ago we tried this and I would have to hold him in place! That seems antithetical to the purpose and almost cruel as he really hates to be restrained (loves big hugs, but hates to be restrained). I can't get him to respond to a "you need to go sit in this chair right now" because...he won't...at least not when he is upset.
Linda, funny you should say that as just yesterday I said to DW, "You know, I am just this close to giving him one quick swat on the a$$." No, I have not spanked...yet. One of DW's friends said she used a wooden spoon. She says that she really regrets this, but now all she has to do is take out a wooden spoon and her kids stop dead in their tracks. (Funny aside-They stayed with us a week ago and one of the first things her son asked my DW was if we had any wooden spoons in the house!)
It is very interesting too...He has really been into the "emotions" thing lately. In this, when we tell him, "You are making Mommy/Daddy very sad when you bite/hit." He will growl back, "Happy." Then as we start to try and tell him again, "No, it is making us sad" he does not even let the words get out of our mouth he just says, "HAPPY!" angrier and louder over us. I know he is saying he wants us to be happy (and the look on his face makes me laugh sometimes because...that ain't a happy look), but he needs to accept angry and sad as well.
I think we need to work on an appropriate punishment. His OT is on vacation for the next two weeks. Maybe to work with the school some.
Biting is definately a sensory seeking behavior. It's in the book "Raising a Sensory Smart Child." From the book (pg. 288 - 289):
"Hitting and biting are common behaviors among many kids with SI dysfunction. Not only does smaking up against or biting his brother let a child with SI express his irritation, it gives him plenty of deep pressure and proprioceptive input that he can control, and it may be very calming to his system. To stop your child from hitting and biting, you need to teach him impulse control and frustration tolerance, and give him lots of input that will prevent him from feeling the need to hit or bite in the first place......... If he needs to bite, give him safe items to chew on, such as Chewy Tubes, teething toys, or crunchy or chewy foods that don't turn mushy in the mouth such as fruit roll-ups or bubble gum (in fact, if your young child is biting, it may be a sign that he's hungry). If your child injures another child, give the attention to the other child before dealing with your own so as not to reinforce the negative behavior. Then give your child a time-out if age appropriate, and redirect him toward something he is allowed to hit or bite."
I have the same issue my son is a bitter and we use the chair when he bites he gets in the chair.. He does not like it.. But it has stopped a little when i see him going after someone i will run over to him and ask him if he was going to bite if he says yes he gets the chair but for a short time... He bite my son yesterday out of theblue and actually drew blood that was one of his worst... Good luckI spank. I bet you don't!!!! I was VERY anti-spanking, but getting a kid at 2 changes everything -- you must use what he responds to, unfortunately. We try to minimize it.
Time-ins, in the same room, is one possibility. Or depriving him of a toy, or activity? My DH puts a toy in timeout! VERY effective.
Yep sounds to me like it is sensory, but he developed a sense of empowerment from it as well ... and it became somewhat OCB, as well.
My son tried biting for a while. We told him no VERY emphatically. I would time him out for EVEN GETTING NEAR your neck. I know you are not one to be punitive ... but it needs to be nipped in the bud!
Agreed Linda, but he does not do, "Time Outs." They are too tough for him.
What would you suggest?
Long time no post issue.
MWM looking for answers re: DS's behavior.
BB had a short stint a long time back where he would bite. Nothing major and really not his friends...just DW and myself. This had been short-lived and just seemed to be "one of those phases." We got him a "chewy" and sometimes that would help as it did not seem to be a malicious act.
It is back now with a bit of a vengeance and only DW and myself.
When he is really happy and excited...he may bite! When he is being really cuddly...he may bite! This seems very sensory seeking and we then get into a, "What is the rule?" type of situation. "I don't bite. You need to say, 'I'm sorry.'"
OK...but now he also bites sometimes when he is pissed off! The "angry" biting (and hitting) is usually directed at Mom. I see this as straight up three-year old maladaptive behavior that we can try and correct with discipline and rules, but the other seems very sensory seeking and it is happening a lot.
Needless to say...it goes from being a very fun, happy time to a not so happy time very quickly when this happens.
We were in the pool last weekend. He was laughing and we were having a great time. He was jumping all over me and we were doing water tricks and he cuddled up to me and...bit the side of my head!
Suggestions?
Thanks nakama.
I know what you mean about, being "on guard." I too can tell when he is about to do it, but I can only avoid for so long. It is like he NEEDS it which is why I see it as sensory.
Say we have been reading and he is in my lap and then we are playing and he is very happy and smiling and totally joyful. Then he cuddles in for a second to get the hug...I will totally be on the lookout for the bite. I will feel the breath on my neck (my little vampire) and I will pull him back and say, "You weren't about to bite me were you?" He says nothing. This might happen two or three more times over the next twenty minutes, but usually will not stop until he gets that bite in! It is like a fix that he HAS to have?!
Thanks NM ;)For these types of infractions, I always said "Stop. No biting." The fewer the words, the clearer the message. Then I would model how to express his feelings appropriately and remove him from the situation and/or choose a natural negative consequence (no true time-out or traditional punishments).
Here's a simple social story about biting with some simple pictures.
http://www.do2learn.com/makeaschedule/helpdocs/sampleSchedul es/notRightToBite.htm
Here's the advice from the National Autistic Society in the UK (I love them):
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If your son has suddenly started to bite either himself or other people, it is important to first rule out any medical or dental problems that could be causing pain. Having then ruled these possibilities out, you need to examine the possible triggers for the biting, using a diary. For some children, biting provides sensory stimulation, either by relieving tension in the jaw, or by providing stimulation in the mouth. If this is the case, you need to provide alternative substitutes to bite on. It could be dried fruit, or products such as thera tubing or chewy tubes (for further information please see 'Useful contacts' in 'Related resources' below).
It may also be that your son gets positive reinforcement from the reaction he gets from people when he bites. It is our natural instinct to react strongly. However, it may be the very reaction that your son wishes. If this is the case, try to react as neutrally and calmly to the biting as possible: a firm 'No biting' reinforced with a no biting symbol and calm facial expression.
Biting can also be used to express a child's frustration at not being understood.
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Good luck with everything.
There needs to be a consequence, and my kid hates time outs as well. DS would run off when put in the "chair", and I would keep retrieveing him--without saying a word. His time-out would start over everytime he got up (or hit or kicked). Then, a miracle--he relented and stayed in time out. I did not praise him ( that would take the consequence away) but inside I was thrilled. Kids hate time out for a reason--but I really think it gets worse before better. Not showing any emotion is also key--the kid is getting no reaction.
Good luck!