I know part of a successful relationship with school is to know how to
push without alienating them. Would filing a complaint with the district
about a principal whose school my ds will start attending in the fall - be
considered 'alianating them'? WWYD?
My son is signed up for a new public school in the fall. The principal
called me at the last day of classes at his old school and said "we prefer
you sent your kid somewhere else. We have other asd kids and we just
don't have any resources left. If you insist on sending him we will meet
every three weeks with you to see if he is appropriate for us"' . I have no
intention of sending him anywhere else - I am sending him there partly
because they have been doing well with the other asd kids. I know and I
am sure they know that this call is a violation of IDEA (which is why it was
a call and not a letter).
I have been chewing on this for 3 weeks now and I still feel really upset
about it. I am afraid they will not give my ds the support he needs and
then tell me at meeting 'told you that he would not do well here'. I put in
a call to the district to have this go on the record somewhere in case
things go from bad to worse.
Should I back off and be the best parent ever in hopes that they will do
right by my kid (they have a good reputation) or do I need to put my foot
down and file a complaint?I tried the nice parent route and eventually it won't work and you need to be the advocate for your child. i finally had to stand up and say enough. You can advocate for your child.....and that administrator should be written up for saying that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If your son is doing well, and is interacting well with the teachers, you may be in a position where the administration wants you to go away and the staff does not, or does not care. (e.g., budget is not directly the staff's concern.) So there may be no retaliation since the staff dealing with your son is not part of this. Possibly the principal waited until the last day to try and limit your access to the teachers so you cannot talk to them about this. If you know the teachers well, you might see if they drop any hints as to what they think when classes start up again.
I would be tempted to let the principal go ahead and call meetings every three weeks. I'd then start building a paper trail. Save all meeting notices, agendas, and record the IEP meetings on a digital voice recorder (in my state all I need to do is give 24 hours written notice, but this is a state to state matter, YMMV). Say that you need to record the meetings so that you can pay full attention and not need to take notes. Start documenting any problems in the classroom (understaffing etc), and missing services in the IEP. I'd also start looking for an attorney who is willing to look over your paperwork (but not to go to meetings) if you can find one in your price range. Having an attorney as a resource has helped us a lot.
If you do not have it all ready, I'd read Peter Wright's book "From Emotions to Advocacy". There is a chapter in the rules of the game that might help you understand what going on, although you seem to have a good idea already.
So I guess that I am saying is, I'd back off, but start documenting everything so that I'd will have proof when I need it. The problem I have with the idea of filing a complaint is that there is no evidence. And I do not know what I could propose as the resolution of the complaint, anyway. So filing a complaint seems pointless at this point in time.
But let's see what everyone else has to say about that.
Best of luck to you in a bad situation.
Do what u feel is right, the sooner he gets mainstreamed, the better hell be, i never had any special resource that any other normal kid didnt have aside from a few early years in special ed, unless he needs somethin extra special how is it they dont have this extra 'resource.' SOunds like they just dont wanna deal with it, as im sure they would put it.I would be a little worried as they stated that they had no resources left.
Without proper supports in place, are they setting your son up to fail? What
kind of supports is your son supposed to receive? Do they mean that a
resource teacher, aide or speech will not be available to him? What does his
IEP state? What kind of BIP will be in place? I think you are very right to ask
all of these questions. Personally I think she is setting you up. I personally
do not mind the meeting every three weeks, I would use it to document the
progress of his goals. It takes everyone on the team to make things work. If
she is not a team player, you need to take action.Run, don't walk, to www.wrightslaw.com Order FROM EMOTIONS TO ADVOCACY. There is no better resource for establishing a good but productive relationship with your district. I've always avoided putting ANYTHING negative in writing if it can be resolved in some other way. A paper trail can help you, but it can also come back to bite you. Learn the laws, learn how to negotiate, learn the politics of your local district and, by all means, read FETA. I am working as a professional advocate these days and I still consider it my bible.I agree with the polite but firm approach stating that your son will indeed be receiving services at the original school and that you trust that the school will find a way to make this happen. This is THEIR PROBLEM not your problem - I'm sure you have enough to deal with already! I'm sure staff is stretched and I do have understanding and sympathy for schools that have too many needy kids, too few staff and not enough money (I buy most of my own materials and work tons of overtime!) but to tell you flat out to take your child elsewhere is totally wrong! I would also not want an IEP meeting every three weeks since progress could easily be slower than that. Just think, the principal could say "we have met for three meetings now (only 9 weeks) and still no progress or minimal progress" when indeed your child would need more time for progress. If kids typically progressed by such leaps and bounds that an IEP needed to be held every three weeks than the yearly IEP would not be the norm! I suspect he just said that to either discourage you and won't actually follow through on this (his staff would end up killing him!) or look for a reason to send your child elsewhere. It bothers me so much that this should be causing you worry - schools just can't do everything they or parents would like but to not even try to do SOMETHING for your child is just not acceptable IMHO. Please let us know you this plays out.
Definately write a letter of complaint about the principal, he has no right to say something like that. I had the special ed coordinator at my son's school come right out and state that my son needs to be medicated more. After I calmed down I wrote letters of complaint to the school principal, board of education and Albany special education dept.
By the way my son won't be going there next year and they can't figure out why