This was put by me in another thread which may not have a relevant title. So I'm starting a new one here to relate the same horror story that happened on Friday 13th, 2007. (No, It wasn't Jason and the chainsaw but something "similar"...)
It was after school at 12 noon, when students and teachers were making their way home. I saw a 12 year old student, KP, at the corridor, bare-footed, wielding a recorder (a flute-like instrument made of plastic BUT VERY HARD). This poor boy KP is definitely a special needs child, I say it's ADHD. BUT sadly, the parents are in denial, fuelled by the Psychiatrist who could not pin a diagnosis.
So KP is a "normal" child, just temperamental, sits down on the floor occasionally in a temper tantrum. Known to be easily manipulated by "friends" to carry out "inappropriate" acts like kissing girl classmates or even to fondle his own genitals. And these are feedback I receive from teachers who have taught him !!!
So there he was on Friday the 13th, bare-footed, wielding his "baton", obviously provoked in class earlier on. And my poor Daniel, barely 10 foot away from him became his victim. It was an unprovoked attack. KP swung his "baton" like a boomerang... hitting Daniel at his left temple... thankfully escaping serious injury because of the frame of his spectacles... ( though I have another theory of his escape that I can't share here)
Point is.... undiagnosed cases of ADHD, what more with "blind" parents... and "play-safe" psychiatrists.... has unleashed a walking time-bomb in the school waiting to explode. And this is just primary school. What about High School with nastier bullies !!!
What say you
Do you have anything like IDEA in Malaysia? Oh, my God how sad for the child, and his victims. We have a boy with poor impulse control, similar coercions (I SUSPECT) have been perpetrated on him. However he is FOUR and we are watching him like HAWKS. He has mellowed considerably, but some stuff is still pointing toward ADHD/ODD and such. I wanted him to have preschool speech (hoping the SLP would make some relelvant observations and so on), and the PreK SLP REFUSED TO ASSESS HIM, based on his haivng begun speaking English "only" two years before! I shudder to think he would get all the way to age twelve without help, and what sort of incidents might result!!! The other thing that just infuriates me is that they have an annual assembly against bullying and put up posters. Like THAT is the end of social skills training??? Oh it burns me. I realize we live in an increasingly diverse society (espeically in the US), but does that REALLY preclude incorporating basic social skills teaching, throughout the school day??? Okay ... moving my soapbox to another corner of the park, now ... I'm sorry that happend to your son. My ds once ended up with a mild
Boobear, Wednesday at his birthday party, he threw a socket wrench and hit my grandson (age 15 months) in the head. I was so upset. Fortunately my grandson was not hurt but it couldn't have felt good. Yes, I try to keep things like that out of his reach, but my husband had been working on something in the yard and left it out there. I'm really at a loss about what to do about this behavior. I'm doing my best to keep on top of what he's doing, but a lot was going on at the party and I had basically no help. Sometimes, I think we're just going to have to stay at home alone for the rest of our lives! But then he hurts his siblings! Ugh!! Marilyn foxl wrote: "I am reading, "It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend," (title? author?) and it definitely indicates that the social impact of learning disabilities can be very tough. It DOES include ASD's by the way and is an interesting read!" Richard LaVoie is the author. I'm reading it too! Kristy recommended it and Norway Mom just put up a link for an excerpt in the last day or so. I've been using his strategies (social autopsy? - What could you have done instead of what should you have done.) with my oldest son. Good book! micki, and others, keep in mind, BooBear is in Malaysia, not subject to US laws like FERPA regarding students, also he is a TEACHER at the school which is why we might be privy to info on other teachers' kids! Please, don't underestimate the impact ADHD can have on a child, either! I think it can be far more difficult than most ASD parents (unless they also have a kid with "just ADHD") realize. While the impairments involve fewer developmental aspects, they can be VERY difficult for the child to handle, as well. I am reading, "It's So Much Work To Be Your Friend," (title? author?) and it definitely indicates that the social impact of learning disabilities can be very tough. It DOES include ASD's by the way and is an interesting read! THANK YOU all for your thoughts and suggestions.... SO MANY to clarify and further thoughts to share but here it goes... FIRST & FOREMOST... whatever incident report or complaint that I shall file with the Principal afterwards (in 4 hours time, it's 4 am Malaysian time now!!) has NO INTENTION of bringing punishment upon KP though an impending suspension might drive the parents to take proactive steps to conclusively get proper help. What I am cheesed off is that TEACHER/TEACHERS can allow KP's classmates to get away with teasing him in class, to provoke him into that state. So that will be up to the Principal to find out and investigate. To answer micki's reading between the lines, Loki's observation of unethical practice discussing confidential student info and to clarify foxl. I am a TEACHER but NOT in that school. But I am close to the teachers and they are open to me about KP.... being the only person who will help him wash up when he poops in his pants, who protects him when he is crowded round by bullies and who cares for him as I would do for my own Daniel.... WHY???? Because I know how it feels to be a father to a disabled child. And YES micki, IT IS HURTFUL to us as parents when there is a hint that we may be blind and neglectful. BUT micki, YOU HAVE NOT SEEN KP's FATHER IN ACTION IN SCHOOL.... He reprimands him in public and leaves him to cry and sulk sitting in the corridor...Quote, "LEAVE him there... HE has to LEARN HIS LESSON that HE cannot ALWAYS GET WHAT HE WANTS" Unquote. The physical beating comes later....Why, did I tell you, the mum was slapping his face and forcing him to say sorry to Daniel on Friday... but KP could only sob... Point is this, I'm not in any way implying any of us here are heartless. Being on this Board is enough indicator of how much we care for our kids. BUT it's those that are not at all diagnosed, worst still those who have no diagnosis, so are in denial but yet the signs show otherwise. And micki, trust me, I know this Psychiatrist.... he used to be my Psychiatrist before he specialized in Child Psychiatry. Hope his wife isn't reading this... I'm BIPOLAR in case some of you don't see it... On Epilim, Sodium Valproate 500mg bd for prophylaxis. And I thank God I haven't gone over to punch KP's father. I might have in the bad old manic days. OK... enough for now... 3 h 45 min and counting.... I'll be putting in my letter and we shall see how it goes from there... Will keep all of you posted of future developments... THANK YOU for letting me rant. P.S. marilyna... don't even think that your boy can't change. With help around here I'm sure you'll work out a way to curb your boy's aggressive behaviour and enjoy the GREAT SOCIAL OUTDOORS !! Update for everyone... On Monday morning (16 July 2007), I equipped myself with the necessary letters to give to the school Principal, the Senior Assistants and also to the PTA chairman. KP's mum was also there. The class teacher was also informed and he immediately investigated the matter even as the students were lined up for assembly. Finally after getting eye-witness accounts... it ALL STARTED FROM A 20 cent COIN !!! In that final period on Friday 13th, KP "lost" his 20 cent coin... told one of his classmates, SS, to empty his pockets... obviously a 20 cent coin appeared together with other monies owned by SS. Yet, KP persisted in accusing him of stealing. Then the bell rang and everyone ignored KP and made their way home, including SS. So that's why KP was mad, wielding his "baton" searching for SS.... with "dire consequences" to my own Daniel !!! Anyway, KP's mum apologized. The Principal recognized the problem and would check with the teacher for that final period. Later on too, I met KP's father and he too, extended his hand of apology which I graciously accepted. Regarding KP's condition... I was right. THAT Psychiatrist said "hyperactive" but cannot pin the diagnosis because KP's IQ was "too high" to warrant a diagnosis!!??? HELLO??? WHAT IS THIS ???? But since the matter with my boy was settled and closed, I didn't want to pursue the probing any further. That's all there is to the story...nicely rounded up. P.S. KP also said sorry and I extended my handshake of friendship to him. Oh, yeah AS IF ADHD cannot have a high IQ associated with it!!! How frustrating. Glad the kid apologized properly, but he still needs HELP!
concussion from an aggressive kid in preschool and 4 years later he still
talks about it.
You know, my ds has an asd dx and while he is not agressive he clearly
can be disruptive in his own way during classtime. We have gotten him a
diagnosis, working on an IEP (takes 9 month to set in place) and working
with him with private therapies. I sometimes get looks from parents who
have seen my son 'in action' in class. I can tell that they think that he
needs some help and assume I am neglectful at doing so. I do not always
explain my ds's dx and what we have done to everyone and the teacher
has no legal right to do so.
I really hope I wasn't reading between the lines that the class teacher
discussed another kids behavior and histroy with you. I'm also not sure
why you know that he has seen a psychiatrist who was too 'play-safe' to
make the dx of adhd? In other words - Kp might need some help but
whether or not he is getting it, you really don't know.
Unfortunatly our kids do act out whether they get treatment or not and I
find it very hurtful that the first assumption is that the parent is blind
and neglectful to this. I have yet to meet a parent of a kid with problems
who is not hurting over it. A parent might not want to discuss it and
might be defensive but they know. It's the hardest thing in the world to
see your kid struggle.
But in your place I file an incident report with the school and let them
take it from there.
I'm sorry this happened to your son!
In our case, I'm afraid it would have been my son doing the throwing. He's just turned 3 and we just found out about his ASD in May. He's aggressive and throws toys and things quite often.
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