Is it really... | Autism PDD

can it be true that this little yellow school bus is picking up my boy?

is it not for another, but for my own.

when i used to see the little bus i never thought

someday it would park in front of my house

and open its 'handicapped' doors

for the 'handicapped' child

that lives at my house.

is it really my son they have come to transport?

the doors close, the little yellow bus pulls away

my heart has sunk to my stomach

there are tears in my eyes

is it really for my own little boy?

 

Oh my God, what a touching poem....Very beautifully expressed and I know all of us have already/will shortly feel the sentiment and more when that yellow bus arrives..

I thought it was a touching poem.

My sentiments on my son's first day 3 years ago were exactly like John described . I hated doing it but I also knew that it was the best thing for my son.

Last year my son was always thrilled to see the bus. He had a wonderful bus driver and helper who sang songs with all the kids on the bus. It also was a brand new bus and was the envy of all the other kids in our neighborhood. I have to admitt it was a really cool bus.

BobBon,

Isn't that sad? We did too as children & teenagers. I cannot believe we were so ignorant. The thing is I think adults sometimes are the ones that are modeling ignorance for kids.

The thing is Ali has taught me more than any literature ever could about how special the kids are that ride on the little yellow buses....and how special the people are who learn to help and raise those children.

If Ali needs to ride that little yellow bus, if she ends up in a special ed. school, I will be just as proud...if not prouder of her than if she makes it in the private school....because I know how hard she works and how great her difficulties are.

 

Hope2: Your son is sooooo adorable! I love the bus pic.

Autumn: Thanks for the beautiful poem.

Can I just say to everyone, aren't our kids (and us ;) amazing?!!!

Anna110939276.2600810185I remember well the first day the "short" bus pulled up for my lilguy. I had been telling him for a few days it would come and then that morning dressed him for his first ride on the bus. We waited outside, backpack and all and waited. He was so excited and I was a nervous wreck. "Can I trust the driver?" "What if something happens, he can't even tell me?" Well, I followed the bis to school and waited and watched as he came down the bus steps smiling and took the hand of the paraprofessional for his room. Now he looks forward to the bus coming and when I tell him it's time, he grabs his backpack and puts it on HIMSELF and he's down the steps before I am to walk him to the end of the driveway. A happy boy just enjoying school. Glad I had courage to have him checked early when I noticed his delsay.Autumn, I thought it was quite good - poignant.  I don't think tzoya was reprimanding you as much as giving you a more positive spin to perhaps make you feel better - the poem is a bit sad :(

Thanks all

Kajoli I have not read that book, should I purchase it?

Sorry the poem is 'sad' - it jsut came out, i wrote it in one minute - did not think about it. i guess sometimes i feel sadder inside than i know and it comes out in writing.

gosh, don't apologize - poems are best poured straight out like that...Sometimes we need to be sad. I am sometimes in the summer, when all the kids are sleeping in and playing outside. I liked the poem. Thanks for sharing!

I remember how raw I felt when at the IEP meeting all the therapists and coordinators/ evaluaters were talking about Sarah's autism and her "special ed. needs" at the time~her deficits and such... 

 Your poem was touching and very real feelings. Thanks for sharing:)

[QUOTE=autumn]

Thanks all

Kajoli I have not read that book, should I purchase it?

[/QUOTE]
I have only read one poem from it but it reminded me a lot of what you wrote- maybe you could get it from your library



Finding out" from Seasons of Loss by Connie Post

Broken Sleep and Broken dreams
Surround the chaos
Of Diagnostic Evaluations and
Bran Scans
And the Silent Drives Home
Where is that far away place
Your big blue eyes go so often?
Can I follow you there ?
And maybe just once
We could read a Sesame Street book together
It took me so long to say it
Autism!
Autistic !
My little boy !
Who was supposed to be playing Baseball with Daddy
To be excited when the fire truck went by
And now
All I do
Is thirst for you to say
Mommy can I have some Juice ?

I think your poem was perfectly fine, autumn.  I think many people go through the same kinds of emotions (as demonstrated on this thread, too!), and it helps people to know they aren't alone in feeling that way.

I do wonder if I am alone in feeling perfectly relieved by the idea of Jason being in a special ed program sometimes.  I was a little upset to hear the official diagnosis, and I worry about his future daily, but I haven't really cried or anything over it.  Maybe I am weird!

 

I am with you Evie - maybe I will feel sad when the day comes but for now I cannot help but feel relived that come Nov R will be going to school with special needs kids
Makes me feel like his teachers will be more aware of his needs

[QUOTE=KajoliT]I am with you Evie - maybe I will feel sad when the day comes but for now I cannot help but feel relived that come Nov R will be going to school with special needs kids
Makes me feel like his teachers will be more aware of his needs
[/QUOTE]

YES!  That's it, exactly.  I've heard of some of the struggles many parents have had here (particularily with high functioning kiddos) who seem to fall through the cracks and seem to be really misunderstood.  That's scary to me, too.  It's already hard enough to convince people on the street you aren't a bad parent, let alone teachers and a school district.

A sped. placement to me acknowleges he has difficulties, and that he'll be helped, and hopefully, understood and accepted.

OK, I'm sorry, I sort of hijacked your thread, autumn!  Sorry!

Autumn - I totally appreciate the sentiment of the poem.  The little bus coming to pick up my son was yet another reminder that all was not well with my little man.  It's not how any of us pictured our child's first day of school to be.  I am grateful for the kind bus drivers and the service, but it still sucks. Autumn that was a lovely poem !Very poignant
Have you read Seasons of Loss by Connie Post
KajoliT39275.7878472222I know I will be there someday and had a tear in my eye as I read it.  THank you.Here's my little guy starting his SECOND year of SPED preschool.


He was barely bigger than the steps! I felt exactly the same way you do in your poem. In fact I wanted to drive him to and from school myself but I had to be at a class that year and he had to take the bus to the daycare after preschool where I picked him up an hour later. I HATED doing that to him, but he always looked forward to his bus ride for some reason LOL
It was the most precious thing that happened I must tell you. Last year in the mornings he would meet his Paraeducator (his 2 to 1 teacher's aide) when I dropped him off at the front door, while she wheeled in a little girl from the handicapped bus. Well, Gage would put his little hands on one of the wheelchair handles and help his Paraeducator push the little girl inside! Isn't that so sweet?

Autumn -- I wasn't reprimanding.  Just pointing out that this IS going to be good.  And I didn't realize it was a poem. I thought they were random thoughts about your child going off.  Sorry for being so thick.

Yes, it's hard.  But the silver lining is that this is going to be SO good for him. Feel hope in your heart because there ARE options for our kids these days.  And these options are fairly new.  The earlier and more intense the intervention, the better.  Sorry that having your son go off to a special preschool on a special bus drove home to you that he is one of "those" kids.  Our kids are all "those" kids.  The moment we first realize that in our hearts is difficult.

Gosh - I wasn't expecting to be reprimanded for my little poem!

 

Yep. And be glad for it. There was a time in history, within the lifetime of most people on this board, when your son and my son would not have been permitted to go to school at all. Be glad that your son will get intervention young.  His life is going to be HUGELY better than if he had been born the year you were born.

Wow that brings me back a couple of years.

Nicholas was 3 and I remember it like was yesterday.

We were waiting at the front of our house. Nicky was rocking back and forth.

The little bus pulled up . My little man looks up and cries. I get him in his seat. He keeps saying . No No No No. I get off the bus, look at my dw , she is starting to cry too.

Is this happening? My little man . He is too young only 3. He should be home playing like other 3 year olds. I never imagined he would be off to school trying to catch up.

The bus drives off. I hug my wife , kiss her good bye. I tell her to be strong , it’s for the best. I get into my car, pull away. As soon as I’m out of dw’s sight . I start to loose it. I pull into a  parking lot and sit and cry . My boy my everything has just started school way to early.

 

Although I was a mess , I am now thankful for it. For now I see how far he has come , thanks to that bus picking him up at such a young age.

 

jeeez John, you're making ME cry! 

Jess has been going to school since Dec, but only for a few days a week.  She'll start preschool in Sept and I'll be a wreck all over again...

I used to make fun of the the little yellow bus.
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