Here we go again... | Autism PDD

I got a phone call from EI this past week and they are going to "railroad" Matthew through despite his developmental status.  They were supposed to come out and evaluate him last Monday but canceled on me.  The Service Coordinator called and told me that they were gonig to accept him despite the eval (which is rescheduled for next week).  We are just going to start therapies regardless of where he stands.  They recommended weekly ST and OT as well as twice monthly EI visits.  They also have groups that meet at the center that he's eligible for as well as funding that we can use for community classes (like gymnastics and music). On one hand this makes me happy to help him along a bit but on the other hand I am heartbroken at the thought of starting everything all over again.  Jason has just "graduated" out of most services (OT, ST, etc... he's still doing social skills groups and school) and here we go again with Matthew.

We are not going to persue a diagnosis for Matthew rigth now... I see no point if they'll give him services without one.   No one seems to be able to decide if Jason's on the spectrum (in my heart I know he is though) or not and Matthew does so many things better than him at this age so it seems futile.  Maybe when he's ready for kindy we'll look into it.

Honestly I see him as borderline.  He's got some issues.  Really for the longest time I thought it was okay but all of the sudden its caught up to me and smacked me in the face that he's not 100% NT.   I wouldn't say he's regressed more as I'd say he hasn't progressed as much as I think he should have... if that makes sense.   Maybe some of it is immitating his brother but I know not all of it is.

Here's a little bit about him so you can see what I mean...

* He started waving, doing so big, and blowing kisses around 10+ months and was pointing by his first birthday (days before, but it was before

* He had 15 signs by his first birthday but those faded away as he staretd talking.  He started talking at 12 months and had his first language explosion at 13.5 months... had over 30 words then.  By 18 months his vocab was in the hundreds and he was combining two words together easily and novily (not scripted)... both labeling and communicating.  Well here we are at 2 years almost 2 months and he's really at the same spot as he was at 18 months.  Large vocab still... still combines 2-4 words together and still labels and communicates but not conversational at all

* He's not very good at following directions but I know he understands and is chosing not to follow. 

* Play skills started out great.  Basic pretend play started right after first birthday but honestly it hasn't progressed much.  He'll still do one step pretend play schemes but not more than that.  He plays appropriately with toys now but does prefer puzzles, shape sorters, etc. 

* His eye contact is great with us but he is rather shy among strangers... burries his head in my shoulder and ignores them. 

* He's easily engaged... WAY more so than Jason ever was at this age.

* He never went though the light/fan obsession stage his brother did.  He could care less about both.  I've only seen him spin something once... he picked up a car his brother had been spinning the wheels on tried it once and quickly put it down like "what the heck was the fun in that?"  He never got into opening and closing doors or anything like that.  BUT I do see him liking to go up and down stairs... that is the only "repetitive" behavior I've seen and I am not sure if that counts????  But he did spend most of playgroup today on the steps

* I haven't noticed any sensory issues... no problems with loud noises, bright lights, textures, food, etc.

* He's very go with the flow and never had issues with transitions.  Only very mild temper tantrums... nothing more than normal for a 2 year old. 

* He answers to his name 90+% of the time UNLESS I have a camera out... he HATES having his picture taken and will purposely look in the other direction.... stinker!!  But the rest of the time he immidiately responds to his name.

* He's alwasy seemed VERY aware of whats going on around him and VERY curious about his envirnment.   He monitors what people are doing and very much notices our enterance and exit from rooms.  BUT he definitely ignores adults he doesn't know... ignoring others has been a major issue I've seen lately

* He's very strongly attached to me and shows very clear seperation anxiety... something his brother never did.

* My biggest concern is he could care less about other kids

So that's where he stands.  Lots of pink flags (so to speak) so I figure its time to start treating "just in case" and not screw around with "wait and see" any longer.  I am heartbroken but hopeful.  Jason's come a long way in the past 2 years and I know Matthew will do the same.

I would say he probably is as well. I agree with you on not worrying about the dx until it affects his services.

We have some pink flags with Stephen as well, but none of the social problems you're seeing though. Like you, we've had issues with following directions and some general copying his brother.

I have a feeling that Stephen's speech delay is because of peer modelling from his brother. Now that Daniel is saying more words, Stephen has gained words.

I know Stephen has some sensory problems. He gets hyperactive when there's a lot of people around. He has to stop for a second between tasks to do a relay race or bounce.

We too are getting EI services for Stephen. Teacher once a week for 90 min, ST for 1 hr every two weeks, OT  for 1 hr once a month (but looking to increase because of the sensory issues), and a behavoiral therapist once every month or two (to keep an eye for autistic behaviors).

We have his regular well-child check up in 2 weeks, so I will get his doctors take on it then. If the doctor says we should see someone, then we probably will, but I'm not making a point to go seek anything. Especially since we're already getting more services than Daniel had at this point.

I wish you luck! I definitely see how rough it is to have these thoughts and opinions to be popped into your head..
He's a couple weeks older than Ember and Ember does alot of those things, the strong attachement and seperation anxiety, burrying his head in your shoulder when strange adults are around, she answers to her name when she feels like it, usually I get a "what do you want now can't you see I'm busy getting into things I'm not suppose to" look. She is shy around strangers too, but she does warm up to them. And she will totally ignore whoever she feels like ignoring, but will get in your face if she wants attention. She is definitely NT though, I don't have a doubt about that. I know everytime I see Ember doing something on the red flag list I think Oh, ok. The parallel play but not interacting might be perfectly normal at this age. Speech wise she has many words, but does not have much of a conversation with me other than to ask for things, point out things of interest, copy what I'm saying with a question mark.  Most of her sentences are me fall down, or me this or that. I agree with doing the just in case and not waiting to see, but remain optimistic. Some of that stuff we are so use to looking for as symptoms  can be perfectly normal too and his speech may not be that far off, it sounds a lot like hers.Thanks ladies.  I am interested in seeing what EI has to say.  Jason's specialists all say that he's perfectly fine but I just can't shake that gut feeling.  I've never really felt like he was delayed in any areas but I still feel like something is off overall.  Its just so hard once you've had one on the spectrum you are too intuned to this stuff I think.  I don't even know what normal is any more. 
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