need some suggestions here | Autism PDD

Ok I took more video today. I was actually making video of Addison and Adam interupted...watch please.  This is a great example of what happens ALL DAY LONG with Adam.  THis is exactly what I have been talking about and posting about.  Please watch this and tell me what to do to stop this behavior.  I feel so bad for his little brother.  And Aiden will get the same stuff I'm sure once he gets bigger.  Please help me...I am desperate.  This video is not the worst of it either....just typical.

Thanks for watching.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=g78tsyymutY

 

Karrie

Actually it looks like typcial big brother behavior. But I say that knowing that Jacob did this stuff all the time! So I don't know what "normal" is!!

Jacob still does this kind of stuff at 7y. Some days it's worse then others. I write it off as a "bad" day. My son is unpredictable--so I never can prevent this behavior.

If you find an answer, I would like to know also!

One thing that has helped my son's issues with this is meds. He would be extremely violent towards the girls. I have to protect my other kids also!

I guess to some extent that typical children do things like this at times....but not nearly to the extent that Adam does.  Even my son with ADHD (and he was mean to his sister too) was not anything like Adam's is and his behavior was less to be desired also.  Yea...I'm almost to the point of inquiring about meds...Also need to get some things ruled out.  I had a nephew that acted like this toward his mother a lot and he grew out of it....He has a lot of aspie traits...go figure..

Here is the video taken afterwards....it's hard to stay angry when he does funny cute things like this.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZzcWesALcv0

 

 

 

karjab3039275.4521412037We get that all day long here as well... and I've been told its typical brotherly love

Karrie

OK, first being a male, we tend to be more aggressive. Meaning, the older boy watched how you were video taping the younger one, he probably had the thought pattern of how is this cute? I can do this in half the time.

Also keep in mind that boys tend to like to be the center of attention, good or bad, they will find a way to get that. If it means inadvertantly stomping in the younger one, so be it. I didn't see him trying to hurt your little guy, just stealing his thunder.

 

I don't think he understands that he is making your younger guy feel bad. but he is also NOT assaulting HIM in the video. Boys will be boys.

Wow--he will take a time-out? Jacob will first throw chairs, tables and anything else in his way first. And even then--he won't listen to a single word you say. He will kick, bite, punch, etc. He was so much worse at 4-6yo.

Yesterday he had a bad morning. We were going to go on some trail or see waterfalls or something--just to get out of the house. He wanted the camera--so he could try to take pictures. I couldn't find the camera. That was it. The world came to an end right there! He refused to get buckled, he kicked his little sister over and over again in the van. It was no ones fault, he just couldn't handle anything yesterday.

I see your son as pretty typical behavior. I guess it depends on how severe it gets.

During time out Adam usually throws a fit the whole time. screaming punching the chair or futon in the playroom. Today I got a little bit of footage of time out...before it was taken he had calmed down considerably. Knocking furniture over during.  I can't video tape moments like this if hubby is not home.  I don't know if you can hear in the background but I have a 2 month old also so I have to keep both little ones safe when he acts like that.  SOmetimes I can get him to stay in time out and sometimes I take the fact that he is just staying in the room even if he is destroying it in a rage.  I mean really...what do you do when a child gets to that point of anger where you nor they have any control?  Adam doesn't bite anyone (not yet anyway) but he punches and kicks people during his rages...which that would be me so i TRY and stay clear when it's happening. 

Karrie

 

edited to add:

LOL  No he doesn't just "take" a time out...don't I wish! 

karjab3039275.4686689815

tottot33: Thanks for the response...I agree...we are going to look into soccer in the fall.  We were going to start him in T-ball this past spring but with the baby coming it made it difficult.  I do believe with his love of baseball that he will really enjoy that sport.  Soccer will be really good for him because of the running..LOL  good for me too..lol

Karrie

Karrie, have you tried social stories? About six months ago, my son was constantly touching other people's belongings, other women's purses, diaper bags, other kid's shoes. One day I had a friend come over and she put her large bag on the floor. He came over and put his entire leg in her purse. I think he crushed her sunglasses and she was too polite to admit it. I told him we don't touch other people's stuff but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. I could not find a social story on this issue, at least not one with decent pictures. So I created a social story and drew the pictures myself. In one box I had a picture of my friend arriving with her huge bag. In the second box a picture of my son eyeing her purse. In the third box, a picture of my son's entire leg in her purse with mommie's and her friend's dismayed reaction. And in the last box, my son having taken his leg out from the bag. This finally did the trick and he doesn't do that anymore. He looks at people's bags but controls himself now.
     The pictures don't need to be fancy. The figures can even be stick figures so long as facial expressions are drawn and visible to him.
     In your social story, maybe you can draw the exaggerated expression of your baby looking scared because his brother's yelling and because of his abrupt movements.
      Another suggestion would be to immediately console Addison- pick him up, talk sweetly to him, snuggle him and let him know that what Adam did wasn't very nice, without giving Adam a single glance or word and letting Adam see the attention Addison is getting. Then after a couple minutes of giving Addison lots of warmth and affection, then turn to Adam and very nonchalantly tell him why his behavior was wrong. But I wouldn't spend too much time on getting this across to Adam as part of why some children (NT included) do things like this is to get attention from parents. And even negative attention (reprimand) is better than no attention! So the consolation and affection to Addison tells him right away he's not going to get what he might have sought.It doesn't quite look typical to me... but I'm sorry, I don't have any
experience with this type of thing so no advice.
Sharlet is a big bully with her lil sis but more pushing her over and
snatching from her, as she isn't anywhere near advanced enough to do
much else...We use time out for these things. It took a lot of effort and
consistency but it's starting to pay off.

But good luck with it.Allegra39275.9784490741 I would try and explain to Adam that Addison looks up to him (literally as well as figuratively  ) and that it's good to be a big brother that can teach Addison what to do, but that him going over and shouting at Addison would be like you (the mum) going over and shouting and ordering Adam around.I know how you feel. My kids fight all day long. It has gotten to the point where we have to be outside in the yard or I take them to the park, library, pool - anything to not be in the house with them because they just fight all the time. Gage gas always been very violent with his sister. He is much better now, but it can still get very bad. I have to constantly stay on top of the fighting because it cannot escalate past a certain point. Gage doesn't know his own strength and has hurt Arwen in the past. He also doesn't treat her like any other children I have been around. She, in turn, has picked up violent behaviors from HIM.
I guess it really hit home when I watched this video on an acquaintance's MySpace page of her son reading to his sister.
http://s105.photobucket.com/albums/m230/JacindaStar/?action= view¤t=01Mar07_TEAreads2Mira.flv
I wish my son treated his sister like this! But they do have a special bond, even if it isn't a typical one and he does not let her touch him or snuggle with him or anything. He also does not interact with her in a very "loving" manner, although they do laugh with each other quite a bit. I know I shouldn't compare their relationship to that of the "normal" kids, but it is hard not to, especially when you have the "gut" feeling that something just isn't right. But I try to remind myself that their relationship is just as special, only different than other siblings. And I have always had to watch them and have them in the same room with me, so that continues to this day, although I AM able to leave the room for short bits of time, like to take a shower or go get the mail, without having to worry that he will hurt her. It used to be that I couldn't leave them alone for even a second. Hang in there! ((((HUGS))))My little cuz that just got diagnosed with aspergers (he is 12 now) was alot like this when he was younger and got diagnosed back then for ODD~Oppositional Defience Disorder and his mom had him go to a psychologist weekly to work on coping with his emotions..he had great trouble with any demands and understanding his feelings..his is an angel now but he was a beast between 3-5 years old..got kicked out of several daycares

Shelly...Yes you have mentioned the ODD thing before and it is something that I need to get ruled out or in...hopfully OUT as you all know my opinion on that one. It' scares me because of the statistics. 

Sunflowers..Yea...we have tried social stories...positive behavior charts...His OT has made him a set of "SPIDERMAN RULES" etc  His OT says that we just have to be consistant...gosh it's so hard not to loose it when he is SOOO mean to his little brother.  That tape was NOTHING...just an example of the "Norm" around here.  I have not tried the thing about putting the attention on Addison though.  I'm going to start putting that in the mix of things as well.  I'm really hoping that all these things will just click one day and he will behave?  LOL

Allegra,  Thanks for the response...Yea...we use Time out too...Here lately it seems it is just making him more angry than anything but I feel I have to DO something you know? 

BUllet...thats' good advice...I will try that the very next time...thanks

Hope....Bless your heart. You situation sounds a lot like ours. I couldn't even go look at the video with the Brother reading to his sister...was afraid it would upset me that there are kids out there that are so nice..LMAO...JK  MY oldest is quite nice to his little sister too.  They fight a lot but more than anything they are close and stick together on everything.. They are 14 and 13.   I do know what you mean about a special bond though.  THere are brief moments where Adam and Addison will be rolling on the floor playing with each other...these moments are few and far in between though...when they happen I do praise the heck out of both of them.  Gosh ......all these boys over here...WHAT WAS I THINKING????????  LOL

Karrie

I think fromk watching that video your son should play soem team sportslike soccer,baseball,football,basketball and others he is very active
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