I am pondering something recently.
Tuhina seemed to take almost the entire school year to "get back to her old self." She was tired, she was tense, she was disjointed, there was little communication of thoughts or feelings about school or anything that happened there.
She is in KinderCare summer camp for the summer. Okay, less-complex demands, maybe somewhat better sensory environs as well. And LOTS of fun stuff to do. But ... it took her more like three weeks to adjust there, and now, again we are seeing a confident little girl who is more functional and, at least, semi-friendly with peers.
So, maybe the change (instead of her school summer camp or ESY) is helping her get used to change, itself? I am hopeful. I suspect a lot of my hope will be blown away when school starts again though. She actually told me (gradually, over a couple weeks, in this order), "I miss Chandler," (a little boy who she SAYS teases her, but she talks about him a LOT
Thought or experiences, anyone? Do you think our kids, esp. the milder ones, benefit from exposure to more environments, more teachers, other kids ... ? Has anyone observed that it helped, or hurt?
Shelley, I was dreading her adjustment to a new place for the summer ... and feeling guilty b/c much of our choice was for our convenience!
It really threw me when her teacher told us she had come out of her shell after 3 weeks. Everything I read from parents and epxerts had me set up to expect this to be much tougher on her, along with the experience of Kindergarten! So I am just amazed!
I just hope school will not be TOO BORING this fall!
Initially, because of their rigidity and stickler to routine, it's always best do the usual things that we usually do with them, go to places that we usually go with them. Reason, of course, obviously to avoid meltdowns when the child "demands" back the usual routine/things that are carried out.
Having said that, there are emergency situations that prevent us from doing certain things that we usually do. For example, every Sunday after church, we all go to a particular shopping mall for lunch and we must park inside the basement car-park. So on days when we finish very late after Sunday School, things get jammed up going in to the carpark. What do we do? We divert... go to an alternative place for lunch.... BUT yet reassure that will still go through the lunch routine at the mall but this time during dinner.
As they learn to accept change, the reason behind the changes and yet feel reassured that nothing in a way changes (they still get their routine done eventually), they will be more open to future changes. It has worked for my boy... and I find that changes are easier to institute in crisis situations. Like the othher day, in the morning when going to school. I would usually walk him to his class. But there was a bad traffic gridlock outside the school due to roadworks. So, I told my boy to go to his class ON HIS OWN, so that "Papa can be a temporary traffic cop to untangle the traffic jam".... It worked, he dutifully walked to his class without any fuss.
So CHANGE is GOOD.... not just for our sake but definitely for their sake . But careful institution of change is important to avoid unnecessarry meltdown and stress...
Try to come up with as much new stuff as possible to perk her up and expose her to whatever she can handle and you ;~P My son definitely benefits from more teachers and more exposures to new things at this point in his life. Keeps him on his toes! It's when he gets too comfortable with people and routines that the bad behavior really emerges. I just started a home program with three new people and he's been GREAT for them. He made a liar out of me! The only negative I am noticing is that his attachments are not as strong to these new people. He could take 'em or leave 'em so to speak. Bumping... for sunflowers.... Change, no matter how painful.... is a necessity if we want to lead an enjoyable life with our ASD kid.. And to lessen the pain, as sunflowers put it, a lot of physical and verbal comfort is provided, explaining about the destination with a lot of warm fuzzy hugs !
T had a postively ROTTEN day, today, including hitting herself, throwing toys at the Y pool, and then melting down because her LITTLE, 3 y/o sister, "Was being mean to her." Ack. Now she is taking a lloooong nap ... but, guess what? This rotten today came after ... a NIGHT IN OUR BED. So it IS related to sleep disturbance, somehow (I know correlation is not necessarily causation!). Definitely going to look into this further ...
My son went through a phase with rigidity. If I had to take a detour, he freaked out. No meltdown but he was angry with me. If we were supposed to go to a particular grocery store, but then we didn't have time, he'd start whining and even crying sometimes.
I responded to this rigidity with lots of exposure to new, varied situations. He was put in soccer class, in an independent gym class, taken to different parks and playgrounds, different restaurants, different mall playareas, different toddler art classes, etc..etc...
Initially I think his head was spinning. He was enjoying it all immensely because he does crave stimulation and new things, but at the same time he has this rigidity for other things. But after three months of doing this, he turned into a more flexible, easy-going little guy. He loved the newness of things, the excitement of visiting a new place, and he doesn't cry or whine when there's a change of plans.
But we did provide alot of of physical and verbal comfort throughout it all though. We held him alot, talked to him alot to explain where we were going or why there had to be a change in plans, reassured him it'd be fine...
The layers of rigidity seem to be slowly disappearing.
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