Update for those that want to hear =) | Autism PDD

Karrie,

I, too am scared to death of letting TJ go to school in 3 weeks. He is only going 4 day a week for 2 1/2 hours a day. I have put some items in his IEP that I know will help him work thru a meltdown-he loves to hav ehis hands massaged so that is in there and a few other quick fixes. TJ is riding the bus too. I had the choice and the case conference team told me that it will be harder to leave him at school or stay in the classroom because of separation issues. They are hoping he will actually find the bus soothing- he loves car rides. I was told if I was worried-duh who wouldn't be- I can follow the bus for a few days as long as we are out of his veiw. I talked to his teacher before his iep and we made decisions that we both wanted included on his iep. If it is on the iep then the school has to comply. I have 2 starting preschool this year and I totallylost it when my oldest started school and I got to go with her 1 day a week to help out. This is going to be difficult for everyone and it is a very difficult decision but it on only you and your family can decide. I know he is aging out of EI and will be losing he st, ot and dt the day before school starts. So this was the right choice for us- he will be getting 120 minutes of st and ot a month.

Congrats on the new baby. I have thought about taking TJ to Brookfeild Zoo but just havent made it yet-dh works midnights so I am thinking taking the kids on their birthday too. You are right it is a great zoo. My oldest 2- (16 and 4) love the dolphins and the coral reef exhibit(I think that is what it is called) you actuallly feel like you are at a ocean comlplete with waves crashing(very loud and somewhat unexpected so it scares so kids) to walls that have water running down them.

Kathy

Hey everyone thanks for the responses and glad i'm not the only one worried...

But my question is this... we have already HAD the IEP meeting... except my husband and i have changed our mind on a few of the issues. The child psycholoist for the school wrote out everythin from the IEP meeting that we had on July 12th and mailed it just this past Tues. (August 2nd).... so i'm supposed to go over and either sign it saying yes i want the schools services or no i don't.... but isn't there a middle ground ?? Can i change things in the IEP if i need to before i sign it and how do i go about that???

No i'm not sending Zach on the bus because everywhere in kenosha is only a 10-15 minute drive. Zach has a severe adversion to strangers... even some of our relatives whom he's know all his life, but doesn't see very often freak him out badly. There's no way in hell i'd get him on a bus... it wouldn't happen. When we go to my cousins house (who he knows as other grandparents because they are in their late 50's) he won't even enter in the house... i try to get him to step into the house and he drops all his weight and starts to freak... so the bus is deffinatly a no go... the IEP team agreed with that.

Basically the only thing i want to change is cutting his school days down from 4 days a week 3 hours a day ... to 2 days a week... and to be able to sit outside the classroom untill he eventually understands that it's ok for me to leave... which i don't know if that will happen. Zach has an issue with me leavin him at my moms house sometimes which is right across the hall and he see's them EVERYDAY.

Hey Sarah! Great to hear how well Zach is doing and the progress he is making!

As far as Zach and school......... Been there done that and know its no fun. I too freaked about sending Tyler on a 20+ mile one way trip to school and then him being there with a bunch of strangers who didn't know him, wouldn't know why he was upset, wouldnt know what to do to calm him down or comfort him, who he wouldn't let touch him, who he couldn't communicate with. It was awful! But I knew he needed it........ so I drove him everyday and since it was so far away I volunteered in the classroom with his baby sister with me. Believe it or not they eventually adjust and adapt to it.... it becomes the new routine. Now Tyler had to take along whatever toy he was currently attached to and obsessed with and he didn't interact with the other kids, and he screamed and flipped out so much during music they had to take him for a walk,... but the point is the school is for special needs kids.... Our kids aren't the first ones they have ever had and although our kids each have their own circumstances,.... for the most part they know what to do for our kids.

I would meet with the teacher and voice specific concerns.... Another thing I would suggest is writing down a list (for his teacher and aides) of things you know Zach gets upset over and how you know hes starting to get stressed out (BEFORE a meltdown) and what you do to calm him. That way he has consistency and predictability.

As far as the IEP......... I'm not a good one to ask LOL Had my own share of problems with that. I know you can sign that you agree to certain parts only and then come back for another meeting to talk about the rest. In all likely hood (depending on how significant or minor the changes are) you will probably have to have another meeting to discuss the changes because the TEAM needs to agree on them. DO NOT TRUST THE SCHOOL if they say the changes are minor and they can or will just do them and ask you to just sign the iep because its no big deal. REMEMBER UNLESS ITS IN WRITING AND SIGNED IN CONCRETE WORDS THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO IT... Lets us know what happens.

Kellie, Glad to hear Andrew is growing and doing well too and that Luke is also making progress and interacting with his peers! What Wonderful News!

Kellie i am glad to hear about Andrew and Luke as well what great news that he's interacting. How are YOU doing??

I was told by my parent advocate that you can change the iep. Just request a meeting to change what you need. If they give you a hard time the state of Indiana has a due process hearing- I am not sure if all states do but you can check it out. I was told I can request a meeting at anytime to discuss the iep. Call your state board of education and ask some one there.

Hope this helps

Kathy

Sarah,

SO glad to hear from you and about everything that is going on with the family.

Adam is going to start pre-school next week. I am a nervous wreck to say the least. I already know that we are going to have problems with him adjusting and he will probably have meltdowns etc. His IEP is this Thursday and I am looking forward to that because then I will have a better idea of what they will do IF he does meltdown at school or if he has behavior problems there. I already know that it is going to be extremly hard for him to adapt and I do feel bad for him in that respect...but....I feel that he NEEDS this. Sending your children to school with special needs is a personal thing though and everyone needs to make their own decisions as far as that is concerned. I know that there is no way that I can give him the structure that he desperatly needs here at home. At school he will get that structure AND be able to be in social situations with children his own age. I've never sent any of my children to school this young...and honestly with my other two i was mentally kicking and screaming when they had to go to kindergarden..LOL SO this is hard for me. Especially with his language delay. Everytime I start thinking that I want to keep him home with me I have to remind myself that he needs to be in preschool. I also fear that if I wait there is no guarantee that he won't have behavior problems still 2 years from now. I would personally rather it all get delt with now while he is still only 3 and for him to adjust well so that when it is time to start kindergarden he will be more prepared. Glad to hear from you!! Sounds like things are going great there!! Take care,

Karrie

Sarah,

Glad to hear that my 'birthing partner ... one day removed' is doing so well! Andrew, too, has lots of gas. :( Otherwise, he's doing well, too, and growing quickly. He's a real little pudgie now, which is funny be/c Luke was always just long and lean! You know, I wonder if having a sibling hasn't been a great blessing for our boys be/c Luke just started recently interacting with kids his onw age, too! He'll walk right up to them and smile and/or try to take their toy away!

He never was so bold before as to actually try to take possession of something someone else was holding! I'm getting a little squirrelly about having to do Luke's IEP, but he's not quite ready to begin that process yet (thank God!) so I have time to research and see how and what as far as that goes.

Good luck with the exercise!! Hope it continues to help you. :) I'd love to get my rump back into Jazzercise ... but I feel like I have NO TIME. Too busy carting everyone all over the place.

Kellie

sarah,

i am scared to death-in 4 weeks my ds 3 is going to preschool 4x week all day long in specail education also. my concerns about his meltdowns in socialization and frustration were all brought up at my iep meeting. they told me that they are trained and know how to handle it but yet i am scared to let him go. i know in my heart that he needs this now or else in 2 years he wont be ready for kindergarten also so i have to let him go. he is getting speech and ot thru the program i have not strted home therapy as of yet. so i feel for you as i am in the same boat. is your son riding a bus to school??

my son is and that is going to be a meltdown all in itself. leaving mommy.

Cyndie,

You know about the bus thing...I had planned on driving him but I'm not so sure anymore because I am due in 2 weeks with my 4th child. I think I'm going to have to put him on the bus and that scares me too!! See I got to thinking that my husband is only able to get 2 weeks of leave when the baby comes so after 2 weeks there is the possiblility that I won't be able to drive or carry the carseat around...so I don't think i'm going to have a choice here. I would like to drive him for the first week or two at least just to get him used to the school first before I go and make him jump on a bus. That is something that I am going to ask at the meeting. Adam will get speech and OT at school but he is also in private speech and OT right now. We hope to continue with the private along with the school so that he can get as much therapy as possible. Adam will be put in an autism preschool class that is 5 days a week and all day long too.

Karrie

karrie,

they did not give me a choice to take him to school since he is in the program he has to ride the bus. he has such separation anxiety they said this would be the only way. i dont know how is is going to be i am so worried he is going to have an anxiety attack and pass out then what? he sometimes still has attacks when i am just going to the store-even when my mom and husband are here with him. he is so attatched to me and i think that makes it so much worse i dont want to let him go. but i cant do everthing for him i know he needs to go to school. i am still fighting my county for a autism class. he has an official dx of autism with adhd. but his school says they dont see it in him on an educational stand point. so i have an advocate thru childrens hospital helping me out now who cant believe they wont label him till he is 7 here. she is just floored by the stuff i told her. so right now he startes school in special education with all the other specail ed students. what to do?

Hi Everyone...

Things are going alright... Jaydin has grown bunches and is actually fitting into her 0-3 month clother now *laughs* and even some 3-6 month stuff (that shrank after being washed). Problem is she has really bad gas.... ALL the time... i give her milacon drops which seem to help some. Yes i'm sleeping... but my husband is not *laughs* He feels that since He's not working right now, but will eventually have to go back to work and i'll be here alone with the kids... He should do it while He can.

Zach is doing great....We took him to the Brookfield zoo on his actual birthday and He loved it. He was laughing and clapping and dancing at the music during the dolphin show. He loved the primate house (this zoo's is pretty cool)... and one of the females just had a baby in May, so Chris got some pretty great picutes of the baby and the mom. Actually He got some great pictures everywhere, our digital camera is pretty nice which i didn't know *laughs*. The elephants... Ahhh the elephants.... Zach was completly enthralled with them and when it came time to leave them... MELTDOWN city. But we got through it..... all in all good day and we had fun.... since the Zoo..... Zach seems to have opened up more and is trying to talk more.... He relates to animals... So i'm thinking We might save and buy a membership to the Milwaukee zoo and make the zoo a regular trip.

I'm doing ok all in all... I'm on somewhat of an emotional roller coaster with what to do as far as what to do with Zach. And on days when He's having a hard time... I wonder if He'll stop progressing.... it's scarey to see Him regress. My aunt was generous and paid for a membership to a Curves gym for me, because i suffered from post partum depression with Zach... seeing as she is a nurse practicioner she believes that the exersise will help.... So far it does seem to be... i leave feeling more energized and awake.... and i'm less frustrated.... i've only been working out a week... but i started at the right time because i could feel the sadness and nervousness coming on pretty strong, so we'll see what happends. OH other good news... yesterday we went to a restraunt here to have burgers... it was buy one get one free night

I do have a question about zach's IEP that the school is sending... if there were things I wanted to change in it before signing it... do i need to have another IEP meeting or can I just talk with the school about the changes?? Right now they have Zach going to school 4 times a week.... My husband and i don't really want Zach going to school yet as He has no coping skills to deal with it. But Chris said He'd be willing to let Him go just to get the speech and OT ... IF He only goes 2 times a week... and IF one of us could sit in the background of the class. This is just untill Zach starts getting some behavioral therapy to gain some coping skills to deal with school on his own. Zach's in home therapy won't start untill He is offically declared disabled from SSI and He gets approved for the waiver we need for the funding. This means no ST or OT right now... although I was just informed that title 19 (which he gets now because he's recieving SSI payments) will pay for Zach to get in home ST and there is a new company here in town that does in home OT. I'm not sure what to do actually... i think the socialization of school could be great... but what if He has a meltdown and hurts himself or one of the other kids???