My boys were EXACTLY the same way with the EI therapists. I am not sure what method they were using, but they were very controlling. Like Nikolas would want to take all of their toys out of their bag and he wasn't allowed to. He had to pick one toy, then put that one away before taking out another. Normal stuff really, but boy did it bring a tantrum! Like Shelley I did not realize how many things I did or allowed to avoid a tantrum or to keep them happy. Then wanting to put the puzzle pieces in a pile and hold them, she wouldn't let him do this. They had to play with the toys. So he would take the pieces and try to turn away from her, and she would follow, and he would get mad. There were sessions when they cried from the moment she walked in the door until the moment she left. They would take her her coat and tell her bye after she walked in the door. LOL! She did state to me that they were not going to like her, especially at first, because she was taking control away from them. Boy was that true! They had 2 therapists, she was a little harder, but she got the best results too. The funniest part was when they would sneak away to practice what they learned from her after she left, from pointing to pictures and naming them to stacking blocks and doing puzzles. I would say the screaming is pretty normal and it will eventually get better.
I wanted to add too(after reading some of the replies), the therapist was very unfazed by it too, she expected it. It isn't spirit breaking, its teaching them they aren't going to get what they want by screaming. Her boss and another therapist used my boys to teach those same therapists a few techniques, they were PHDs and had over 20 years experience under their belts. And the first thing she told me was not to be concerned or put off by the screaming, they were not being mean, breaking their spirit etc, but the kids were not always going to like therapy because it was taking the control they were use to having away from them. They do now though, therapy is playtime now, and they discovered the rewards and power that comes from asking for things instead of screaming for them and while there is still screaming it is less and less all the time. I'm not sure if the anger is at the therapist or you are just sick of the screaming (lord knows I understand that) but try to tune it out. I have gotten so good at tuning out screaming I forget others aren't use to doing that and it always suprises me when someone makes a comment about the boy's screaming.
Thanks guys - Just got done with an hour session... She cried so much that she is yawning and will probbaly take a nap now! And she has another session starting in 1/2 hr!!
The therapists have tried everything - bringing GOOD toys, NO toys, her own toys... playing with water.. taking a walk. ..... the works. My dd was VERY fond of her therapist - she even gave her GIANT smiles!!
I have a BAAAAAAAD feeling that it IS increased hrs and I AM TO BLAME FOR THESE!! I fought with EI to get all these hrs and my daughter is not doing well.. infact she is stmming, spinning, tantrumming.... I am so sick of this... No matter what I do it seems to be a foot in the wrong direction.
If I am present in the session - dd will respond to ME and only ME.. not the therapist. If I leave, there is persistant crying.. But now she doesnt want the therapist atall - whether I am present or not.
I KNOW this is the behavior I want to stop bec thisis not condusive to learning... BUT my dd is already a shy/reserves/anti social person - will this push her over the edge??
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Hang in there...I am with you on not knowing what to do. Do I let him open and close doors, do I acknowledge that he is mentioning the fan or light for the 100th time. If I do not than he keeps saying light light light...you increased the hours because you want what is best...however, day by day I am learning that they are in control and that is the hardest thing for me to deal with. You know your daughter best. I took a few weeks off from therapy and re introduced it back and it was a good break for my son.
Do what you feel is best for your child. Good luck on your next visit.
Your daughter must need the increased hours. It is the therapists' and school distrrict's job to make it work. I'd call an IEP meeting and ask that a BCBA be brought in to watch what happens and do an FBA. Based on the results of the FBA, a positive Behavior Intervention Plan should be developed. You should get parent training written into the IEP with the goal of having you learn to implement the BIP at home, both during therapy and at other times.My son is a screamer and Rita, I'm with you....it drives me to insanity. I would go to the opposite end of the house and let him wail it out with the therapist. Can't remember how long it took exactly, but we all pushed through it. No breaks. He no longer screams for any therapist. He actually seems to prefer them over me these days! But you know your kid best. I found out early on that both my kids are terrific manipulators - I could see right through them.
I hope things improve!
It's me again... lamenting AGAIN! But I have noone else to turn to for advice!
I am getting really concerned abt my daughter;s recation to her therapists when they "enter" the house. She looks away, screaming and crying and RUNS towards me .... she will cry thru the sessions...Yesterday the therapist met me at Gymboree (just to observe what goes on there)... well, my daughter was FINE till she saw Sue (by fine I mean, she was OK with all the kids running around while she looked here and there) but as soon as she saw Sue, the "looking around happily" was replaced with crying/screaming!!
The therapists keep telling me "to work thru this" and I will but.. is this normal????SHE WAS GREAT WITH THE SAME THERAPISTS and the crying is RECENT (after her HOURS INCREASED!).
My son can be the same way. Our play therapist started to not come in the house without anything in her hands and that seamed to help. I think Carter new he was going to be forced to do something he did not want to do. (She brought her own toys.) This started when the therapist started to push Carter to do more things. She has now backed off alittle and started to let him lead the way. He is starting to warm up to her again.
Okay...I am no expert, and my son did/does not have the same therapy as your child, but what I do know is that all behavior is a form of communication. I would recommend a short break, followed by returning to the old hours, and then slowly increasing the schedule (even if only by one hour every few days).
Others may totally disagree with me, but each child is an individual, and they do not read the books, the rules, the recommendations, etc. of various therapies. Something isn't right here, so step back, deep breath, spend some time observing your daughter, and see what happens.
Again, this is instinctive advice and I may not know what I'm talking about
PS You are NOT bothering anyone, so PUT THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD...And even if you were, it's for your child, AND...The squeaky wheel DOES get the oil!!! bump - earlier post! Thanks guys - Just got done with an hour session... She cried so much that she is yawning and will probbaly take a nap now! And she has another session starting in 1/2 hr!! The therapists have tried everything - bringing GOOD toys, NO toys, her own toys... playing with water.. taking a walk. ..... the works. My dd was VERY fond of her therapist - she even gave her GIANT smiles!! I have a BAAAAAAAD feeling that it IS increased hrs and I AM TO BLAME FOR THESE!! I fought with EI to get all these hrs and my daughter is not doing well.. infact she is stmming, spinning, tantrumming.... I am so sick of this... No matter what I do it seems to be a foot in the wrong direction. If I am present in the session - dd will respond to ME and only ME.. not the therapist. If I leave, there is persistant crying.. But now she doesnt want the therapist atall - whether I am present or not. I KNOW this is the behavior I want to stop bec thisis not condusive to learning... BUT my dd is already a shy/reserves/anti social person - will this push her over the edge?? Thanks guys - Just got done with an hour session... She cried so much that she is yawning and will probbaly take a nap now! And she has another session starting in 1/2 hr!! The therapists have tried everything - bringing GOOD toys, NO toys, her own toys... playing with water.. taking a walk. ..... the works. My dd was VERY fond of her therapist - she even gave her GIANT smiles!! I have a BAAAAAAAD feeling that it IS increased hrs and I AM TO BLAME FOR THESE!! I fought with EI to get all these hrs and my daughter is not doing well.. infact she is stmming, spinning, tantrumming.... I am so sick of this... No matter what I do it seems to be a foot in the wrong direction. If I am present in the session - dd will respond to ME and only ME.. not the therapist. If I leave, there is persistant crying.. But now she doesnt want the therapist atall - whether I am present or not. I KNOW this is the behavior I want to stop bec thisis not condusive to learning... BUT my dd is already a shy/reserves/anti social person - will this push her over the edge?? My son did this for the longest. Once he started learning therpist=work it was bad. Then it became a routine and now when his therapist doesn't show it ruins his day. (((hugs))) it's hard!!! Fred/Shelley - to answer your question, the ABA therapists (did I mention neither are Board certified but are EXCELLENT) remain unfazed by the screaming... I am ANGRY! I am not saddenned by her cried but just plain ANGRY bec her screaming makes me VERYYYY irritatable! It is SOOOOO freakin annoying! And then like Shelley said, I keep thinking - is this in some way breaking her spirit? As it is, she is a complacent child who can sit in her crib for hours staring at the ceiling.. will this push her "there" further! You guys on this board ROCK.. I feel better ! We had no idea how much we coddled Sarah and enabled her ability to control her environment till later on after ABA started and got enlightened:) ..we turned the sound low on radio or tv to stop her screaming..turned off lights or dimmed because she cried...stop talking at dinner time because she cried..stop going out to eat, church or relatives home because she cried...let her sleep with us ect... I would try going back to the original hours and see if she is more comfortable with that. Then I would start adding the additional time very slowly. My ds tires easily and when he went from PT to FT school it took months to get him up to FT. I completely agree with Kathy...she is avoiding demands the only way she knows...SCREAMING and if she gets away with it then the behavior will only get louder and longer the next time, Sarah had major issues with doing any demands at all and would scream for hours because she didnt want to touch her nose....the demand stayed no matter what till she touched her nose! She had to learn to follow through a simple task before she could be taught bigger ones...it was heartwrenching and tooks weeks sometimes but the payoff is she learned she couldnt scream to get out of things and that she couldnt control everything. It was the hardest lesson for her to learn but then the real progress began:) Hang in there my friend! I would NOT lesson her hours as much as you want to...you are only prolonging her learning to break this habit..she cant do this behavior forever:) They know how to deal with this behavior as it is VERY common! Earplugs come in handy!
Ours kids are extremely smart and strong willed...we have to be stronger! Best of luck! True! Our therapists were cool as cucumbers and poker faced during Sarah's tantrums...I swear they must all take a course in how not to react! They showed no reaction whatsoever to Sarah's avoidance tactics and it worked! If any of them reacted in the slightest then Sarah would of jumped all over it! Watch the therapist during these episodes..sometimes me being there made it much worse on the therapists trying to work with her..so fade yourself out as soon as possible:)
compliance issue right now. You, my dear, are in the middle of a big storm.
The only other suggestion that I can make is to videotape her sessions and
ask a very qualified BCBA for some advice as to running the sessions
differently. As you stated though, your therapist can not even run the
sessions right? First she needs to get a grip on the anti-learning behaviors.
My son had big anti-learning issues, he was older and more verbal but it did
get in the way of his progress. We put his behaviors in extinction. At your
daughters age, I do think that the therapist is using the right methods. Just
keep posting.
My BCBA is of the idea that you need to work through these anti-learning
behaviors. Changing therapists will lesson the problem at first but she will
again continue to use what works. Has all the sessions been really been a
bust? Has the crying lessoned in any way? If you want to be sure it is your
daughters will and not an aversion to your therapist, you can try a new
therapist and see if she does any better. A little boy I know from our last
agency would cry throughout one therapists sessions. There was something
about her that set him off. He had three therapists so it was very evident.
This may make things worse, but at least you will know.Same here my Nick did that for the first couple of months. Then all of a sudden he loved it. hang in there. And please its no bother. That is why we are all here , to get answers so please keep asking.
I would stay to stick with it. I know it sucks to watch your child scream and cry, but with time she will learn that this is part of her day. ABA should be fun for children.
My son also would scream his head off, especially during those days crammed with all three therapies. It would break my heart. Eventually he realized that it wasn't so bad, and he did what was expected.
Do your therapists have a consultant that they work under? It may be a good idea to have her come and observe, so a functional behavioral analysis, and give them a plan to implement to lessen her stress.
Best of luck
nakama
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