Right now, dh works a lot, and I have to take ds with me everywhere. I was just trying to decide if I should get a lot of things done while he was in preschool instead of dragging him on my erronds. His aba theripist is going to make him some picture charts of our outings, that way he will get the idea about the first second and finally thing. I'm really excited about it. If I don't have him with me, I miss him, but there are just days when it's really hard. Thanks for all the advice!I agree that community outings are very important. We have always taken
my son out to restaurants/shops/movies/theme parks/little zoos. How does
your son do in a token economy? Has he bought into that idea yet? When
my son was three and four, we used a sticker system. Every five minutes
that he did not wine/cry he got a sticker and a praise. After 6 stickers he got
to pick out a pre-determined treat . It took a while but he got it. We just
kept upping the time. We eventually faded out the stickers and he still does
fine. I think that they need to buy into what they are doing and they need to
be reinforced for their attempts to be good little by little.
Mines a whine too:)
At three years old Sarah didnt ever want to go places..not even toy stores or petstore, parks...we made her go and rewarded her constantly for tolerating this or that and now she loves to go there but it took many trips!
We would always try to make a big deal of it so she will feel it was somewhat fun and then come home and make story books about it and have her try to talk about her experience...this really got her into making books today:)
She loves the mall but hates to actually shop ...so I bring lots of snacks, apple juice and since she is so big for stroller I bring my 2 seated wagon..yep I am one of those moms!
Starting pre-school and potty training - very exciting! I'm sure Parker will do great. Good luck!
Take him, take him, take him! Short little trips to run errands followed by a stop at the ice cream shop or snowball stand are great to start with. If you want him to be fairly tolerant, well behaved, and him enjoy it when he is older, then introduce him to outings now.
Start using the phrase..."first, next, finally". FIRST we get gas in the car, NEXT we go to Walmart, and FINALLY we go get ice cream. You can teach your son patience this way, but you have to use the phrase a lot at first. FIRST we pour water into the tub, NEXT we take off your clothers, and FINALLY you hop in the tub! First we get a bowl, next we add the cereal, and finally, we pour on the milk.
When your son understands the simple sequence of things, he can generalize that knowledge to outings. He will know he is in for something fun when it "finally" is his turn. Just keep using the phrase to comfort him.
If need be, put a couple ziploc bags of crackers or raisins in your purse, along with a juice box. There will be days where the whining is just gawd awful, and you want to run away to Bora Bora by yourself (or with Fabio.... who ever).
Force yourself to go do one single simple thing on a rotten day. It helps you develop your stamina, it shows your kid that whining ain't gonna get him out of it, and it may distract him enough for the whining to evaporate. He may just surprise the daylights out of you!
Cole was once having the king of horrid days when he was around 3 (while he was in the phase of hating haircuts). I decided the day could not possibly get any worse, so I loaded up my then 1- and 3-year olds and headed to the hair salon. They were overdue for haircuts and I'd been dreading it. His behavior was impeccable! We immediately went and got Happy Meals at 4PM in the afternoon - to heck with the dinner schedule! - to reward him.
Cole's preschool intervention teacher (who has two very autistic sons herself) told me these little outings we did were incredibly good for Cole, and after keeping up with our adventure schedule for years now, I agree. We can take him on planes, a cruise ship to Mexico, evacuate for two weeks from Hurricane Katrina, Disney World twice, beach trips, zoo, aquarium, you name it - and he is absolutely fine. Most importantly, Cole now loves to go, go, go. We started small when he was 3, and he is just a wonderful little traveler today.
Eat your Wheaties and get out there!
Oh God, I can relate. Jessie WHINES ALL THE TIME. It's maddening really. Worse than nails on a chalkboard. Funny though, I'm getting the impression from others, like my parents, teachers, ect. that she doesn't whine nearly as much with them. Good news is - it must be more of a mom thing and maybe it won't be as bad when he's at school. Bad news - it's a MOM thing and we're the moms!
As far as taking her out....it definately is discretionary. If she's really miserable I either won't bother or just go somewhere quick, but there are actually times that once we get out she's a lot better. And I always go armed with snacks and toys/books for the car.
I think LeAnne was spot on with her suggestion to start introducing the concept of sequencing. Learning "First, Next, Last" or even "First & Then" really helped my youngest. He's actually a laid back guy and travels really well. However, knowing the order we were doing things helped.