My son Blake is four, and he is aggressive. He hits, kicks and pinches. Mostly he does these things to me. I have tried timeout with him. He will sit in timeout, and as soon as I tell him he can get up, he comes over and hits me. I have tried spanking, but not only is that ineffective, it doesn't make sense to spank him and say, "Don't hit". I have repeated, "Don't hit" so many times I say it in my sleep. And I praise him for being gentle when he is.
My IL's think I am a terrible parent because I "allow" him to hit me. I just don't know how to stop this behavior. He has been aggressive since he was less than a year old.
Has anyone had any success in stopping aggressive behaviors? And how?
Punishment usually backfires with kids on the spectrum, especially little ones, especially those who are not yet able to effectively communicate. Behavior IS communcation. Your child hits you because he is frustrated over his inability to fully communicate and engage effectively with others. Improving his communication ability will help a lot. Of course, this takes time. Speak to someone who can give you parent training in positive behavioral supports. Ask for a Functional Behavioral Assessment and a resulting Behavior Intervention Plan. Follow the plan. Do NOT react to hitting except to stop it (by holding the child's hands, preferably from the back so he gets no eye contact with you. This works when a child is young, but not as he gets larger, so getting a very intense positive behavior plan in place asap and having all the adults in his life follow it is KEY. And soon. He's not getting smaller. If at all possible, make sure the advice comes from a BCBA or at least someone with lots of formal training in autism.
Have you tried ignoring it and removing yourself from him when he does that. My son had a FBA and this is what the BCBA reccommeded. I did not think it would work but it has. It took a little more than a month but it has worked for the biting and scratching.
With my son he went through this also would hit everyone it has slowed down alot.. I would just be on top of him all the time and when i thought he was going to hit someone or something i would take him out of the situation and show him some thing else.. It worked for him.. He has stopped hitting people he does not know when we go out.. He still will give me a crack here and there especailly if he is mad or something. When he hits i say no hitting and up to his room he goes when he has calmed down i sit thee and talk to him about hitting and it usually doesn't happen again for a while.. Have you talked to the dr about the aggrssivness with your son. I know my friend has a really hard time and they decied to try medicine.. [QUOTE=tzoya]Punishment usually backfires with kids on the spectrum, [/QUOTE]