Agression towards younger sibling | Autism PDD

It saddens me to have to admit this, but i had a sister 2 years younger then me and for years i would be mean, sometimes physically abusive, mostly i would say mean things or do mean things, often, it was because i was annoid by her presence, i did not want company i wanted to be alone. Also she had more oppertunities then i did to do things like join girlscouts (not that i was interested in joining cause im a male) or afterschool activities. Although i could have probably done something similar, my parents had their hands full just dealing with me, my sister was far easier (shes NT).

This translated into me assuming she got treated better and over the years, even in middle and high school we would fight, or i would be mean to her .

I think your son may be unhappy with her presence or maby feels threatened by her as she is obviously getting more attention, unless hes less functioning. Also the crying ans screaming coming from her is probably bothersom I was like that too I could not stand certain sounds and his anger is manifested towards the baby who obviously cant help it. Maby if possible and he understands well enough u can sit down and discuss this with him, if u have not already, and set aside fun time for u and just him.

Im willing to bet this will continue for many more years to come, so be ready unfortunatly.YES YES YES!
My son Gage still is getting into trouble nearly daily because he pushes, shoves, hits, ect. his little 4 year old sister. He uses his full strength on her too - I tell him all the time you are BIGGER than her and you just can't do that, but it doesn't seem to kick in.
Also, their history in a nutshell: He hated her as a baby. He didn't touch her until she was about 18 months old unless he was bribed with M&Ms to do so. He broke her arm when she was 9 months old he used to say "Kill her, mommy" "Let's kill her". This is from a child who was only allowed to watch VeggieTales & The Wiggles and had no access to that kind of language except possibly at his part-time daycare! At about 14 months he fractured her elbow It still dislocates spontaneously because of the original "nursemaid" fracture. It was very sad, but again he thought she was a rag doll. A few months later she had woken up early from nap and I was in the shower (with the door open) - I came out of the shower to find Gage had wrapped a cord around her neck and she was turning purple! He was 3 years old. Again, this is a child who was never exposed to violence, I don't even watch prime time TV until they are asleep. It wasn't until she was about 3 years old that he began to communicate with her and understand that she was a person and not some kind of "pet" of mommys. He also had weekly therapy for a whole year with his sister in the session where he learned how to give her hugs (therapist rewarded him with small toys), and she also got them both on the floor and worked on how he should play with her. Weekly. FOR A YEAR.
I was terrified that they were not allowed to be in the same room alone for a LONG time. Even when she was a baby I worried that he would hurt her because he hated her so much. And we had a home visit a few times a week from a SPED teacher in our home, and she would work on touching the baby, tickle the baby - Gage was totally uninterested. He covered his ears everytime she cried and he would cry too! And scream! The first week we brought her home he was absolutely histerical, crying and screaming even more than my newborn.
My advice would be to take their threats seriously and make sure you are able to monitor closely the aggression toward the 2 year old. I also set aside Gage nights where Arwen went to her grandparents house so that he got individual attention once every week or two. He already recieved tons of attention so it wasn't a jealousy thing. He just couldn't stand having to be around a baby. He still doesn't like babies but it is MUCH better. He will actually get pretty close to them and touch their head, but still refuses to hold them and does not want them around him for very long.

Hi,

I'm the mother of a five year old autistic boy. He has a twin who also has delays. They also have a two year old sister. My question is this: Is it common for an autistic child to push around his younger siblings. It seems that when he hears his sister complaining or crying, he cannot help but to push or scratch her. He does not do this with his brother anymore, I guess because his brother will usually push him back. What should I do?

Also, does anyone know of Florida public school districts which have it together when it comes to educating autistic children. Planning a move to a warmer climate in the future and putting together research.

Thank you.

Yes...Adam is still being mean to his little brother but mostly when Addison is touching or holding something of interest to Adam. We are working on the sharing thing with a timer....set it for 3 mins for each child etc...but it's not really working.

Karrie

Thank you for all your comments. They were truly helpful.

Autistic or not, many kids will be jelous on their younger sibilings.

I had two (NT or NOT? I am suspicious of one and he DID have speech delays and a stim involving string) brothers who were VICIOUS toward me. I DO think it is normal.

However, from what I see in my family, the communication delays and the sensory stuff make ASD kids more apt to become irritated by a younger sib, and more apt to act out than to use words against them, when they do.

The worst for us is, of course the victim then reciprocates in kind ...