I have a question. My son has a terrible time with seperation anxiety, he always has had this problem. I also would like to enlighten you to the fact that I adopted him. I got him when he was 5 mos. old. He was my great-nephew. I wasn't planning on adopting him. His mother never tried to help herself so I kept him for about 2 1/2 yrs. and then the state was going to adopt him out to strangers and I said "NO WAY". So, we adopted him about 1 1/2 yrs. ago. That is when I found out he had PDD-NOS. The first baby sitter I had broke his leg and then he was on visitation with his biological father and came home with the same leg broken again. It was accidental but I was furious.
I am going away this friday for 3 days and 2 nights and I don't know what to tell him or when I should tell him. I have had this planned for a few months. I am going to a wedding up north. Does anyone have any ideas of when or what I should say to him. My husband is staying here to be with him. He doesn't even let other people do things for him, except me. It has to be me all the time. I don't know whether I should give in to him or insist he lets his dad, or one of his siblings, ages 18 - 23 help him.
Someone please help me here.
Thanks a million for all the comments I have received so far.
As an adoptive mom myself, I am hoping you have read some books on attachment theory and attachment disorder.
There are some wonderful ones out there, such as attachment in adoption by Deborah Grey.
There also are some terrific websites, including attach-china.com (nevermind the China part, it provides excellent info for ALL adoptive parents!).
You might also consider, as our school autism coach did, the possibility that he does not have a spectrum disorder, but actually reactive attachment disorder, due to the trauma of separation from his birthmother. If you google that topic, or look at RADZEBRA.com, there is a ton of info. Some of the symptoms include poor eye contact and Sensory Integration Disorder ... so there is overlap with the PDDs.
I agree with autismnoob -- it is VERY important to prepare any child for your being away from them, and make it VERY CLEAR that you are coming back, and when.
One idea that has been used to great effect is to have a calendar with days to cross off, or a "present basket," from which he is permitted to open one (small) present per day, so he has a visual representation of how many days more you will be gone. And definitely, bring him a souvenir from your trip! You might also let him sleep in your bed the night before you leave -- and leave him a blanket or pajamas or stuffed toy, that smells like you (sorry if this sounds too direct or vulgar, but I have used it and IT WORKS!), to sleep with.
Also if your husband can also do a lot of fun stuff with him, outside the house, that will help pass the time, it would be good.
Sorry this is so wordy, and I hope all of this helps him, good luck to you both, and bless you for adopting him!