Hey Nita just found another site that has a message board.... http://www.togetherforautism.org/archive/index.php/
View Full Version: Autism & Autistic Talk
Hope this helps
Did anyone else see the show about sibshops? I belive it was on 20/20. I think this is a really good idea. I checked out the website and unfortunatly there are none in my area. My oldest daughter is 11 and is really interested in her brother and she is even starting to look at other kids and how they act and telling me " mom I think so and so is autistic"makes me laugh. I know she really enjoys sitting with me and reading posts she even reminds me of stories about Nick to post, does anyone know of a message board for siblings her age group? I checked on the one that michelle posted but it is disabled. I found one on yahoogroups but it is more for older sibs like 17 and 18 yr olds. I am thinking about trying to start a sibshop in my area if I can handle it with college and kids and being the girlscout leader plus all of the afterschool activities my kids are involved in I don't know if I could put more on my plate!! Thanks
Nita
We were active with the Sibshop with the ARC of Austin several years ago. My older DS had difficulty dealing with his younger brother's autism. He'd fight to not have to go to their meetings, but would absolutely love the activities once he got there.
He asked us not to enroll him in the Dallas chapter after we moved. Figured he was old enough to know if he needed the extra support, so we supported his decision.
Sibshops have planned activities with group counseling sessions.
Kim
Nita have you checked with your local special needs school about them offering a sibs shop? Maybe you could even request one? Might be worth checking into.
Sorry the message board is down for sibs I will try to look for others....
Nita I hope maybe this might be helpful for your girls....
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/autism_sibs/
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This list is designed to be a place where siblings of autistic adults and children can come to to talk about experiences, thoughts, and feelings about our brothers and sisters. This is a safe haven for discussing issues that only other siblings can relate to. No one else really understands some of the things we go through, but here we can try to understand each other. |
http://www.angelfire.com/bc/autism/index.html
Hi! This is a page for all sisters and brothers of kids with special needs. My name is Jamie. I am 15 years old and my brother Gary is 12. He has autism. Gary is my only sibling aside from my baby sister, so autism really is what I've grown up with and all I know how to live with. So many times I've wanted someone to talk to about it, but as you probably know, autism is not the most common problem and there were very few kids my age who knew what I lived with. My parents were great about this and they still are...but, they haven't been a sibling of someone like Gary, and a parent isn't quite the same thing. Recently I've been looking on the net for websites about autism but most were full of facts and information. Not that that wasn't helpful, it was great, but it lacked what I was looking for. Some websites were made by parents and that was better, more personal, and to hear their stories was nice. But still I couldn't really find one for a sibling, by a sibling. That's what I'm trying to do now and I hope this page helps you. Thanks for visiting and please check out all this stuff...it may help a lot. Forever a friend,
Jamie
Resentment is also a natural reaction when another child in the family takes more attention and more financial resources than you do. Problems faced by the siblings of disabled children are beginning to get more attention. Books are available that discuss typical reactions. One of the best is Views from Our Shoes: Growing up with a Brother or Sister with Special Needs (Meyer, Woodbine House, 1997). It's an excellent guide to sibling issues, and it's written from the children's point of view. Chat groups and workshops can also help. You may be able to get your other children involved in SibShops, which are part of a Seattle-based sibling-support project. SibShops and similar workshops give siblings a chance to meet other kids their age who share their situation. With a little help from adult facilitators, these workshops can help siblings talk about their feelings and fears. Friendships are frequently a nice side effect. You can find an international directory of sibling support groups, including SibShops, at www.chmc.org/departmt/sibsupp/sibshopdirectory_map.htm. This site also has links to a variety of online and offline resources for siblings. The behaviors of people with ASD can be difficult for siblings to deal with. If your child has behaviors that are aggressive or assaultive, dealing with these is the first order of business. It's not fair for your other children to be at risk for actual harm. If you need this kind of help, call a behavioral professional immediately. You may need to take special steps to safeguard the personal property of your other children, and to ensure that they have a quiet place to get away from your disabled child's tantrums, loud noises, or intrusive behaviors. Some of the solutions are not things that most parents would normally want to do. Possibilities include putting a keyed lock on a child's door, situating children's bedrooms as far apart in your home as possible, and providing niceties like a telephone, television, computer, or stereo in the child's room (or in a lockable family room) to permit their uninterrupted use. You'll have to set rules for the use of these devices that prevents the sibling from withdrawing into couch-potato land, of course. It goes without saying that a fair share of your time is far more important than possessions, space, or even privacy. It's essential to make some special time for your other children. Some parents have a meal out, go to a movie, or enjoy an activity with their other children each week, and swear by the results. Ensure that your other children can find time to talk with you about school, friends, ideas, and concerns, without interruptions from your child with a PDD. You may need to be flexible about bedtimes one night each week, allowing another child to stay up just a bit later than usual to enjoy some one-on-one time with you. Another way to carve out time is to wake one child up a bit early once a week for a cup of cocoa and some quiet talk. Your extended family may be able to help by taking up some of the slack. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, or older cousins may be available to take on some minor duties, such as transporting another child to soccer practice twice a week. Some grandparents may even be willing to fund enrichment activities or excursions together. Many families have special friends or neighbors who might be willing to get more involved, if you ask--this system can work out very well if you can recruit the parents of a sibling's friends. Family friends, and other trusted adults in the community, can act as mentors and advisors, and help your other children pursue personal interests. Most siblings do have worries and questions about ASDs, and they may be afraid to talk to you about their fears. Children are exquisitely sensitive to family stress, and they don't want to burden you with more. It's essential for their well-being that these issues be put on the table, though. Common fears include wondering if their sibling is going to die from his illness, worries about possibly dangerous medication, feeling different from other children who don't have a disabled sibling, being teased because of their sibling's odd behaviors, and fear that their parents are unconcerned with their needs because of the other child's demands. Quality information is the key. There are some films available that can help you start the conversation. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, starring Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio, is a particularly good one, as is the Dustin Hoffman-Tom Cruise film Rain Man, although both portray individuals with more severe forms of autism. Short videos for siblings may be available through disability advocacy organizations as well. There are quite a few children's books on autism. For siblings of severely affected children, these can be great. For those with brothers and sisters who have milder forms of autism, these can be more frightening than reassuring. They may fear that their sibling will become "worse," like the child in the story, or they may not identify their sibling with the more severely autistic child at all. Teens often find books by high-functioning autistic writers like Donna Williams or Temple Grandin interesting and informative. Adolescent and adult siblings may resent the very real impact on their future of having a brother or sister with a disability. As Joe's quote in the section "Financial problems," later in this article, illustrates, siblings may lose out on a lot, including opportunities for higher education, participation in community sports leagues, music and dance lessons, having a car, or (as explored to tragi-comic effect in Rain Man) receiving an inheritance. They may also fear that as their parents age, they will be expected to take on increasing responsibilities for their sibling--and this is not an unreasonable worry. You may indeed need to pass on guardianship at some point. Your expectations should be discussed as early as possible. As siblings approach the teen years, where family conflicts can get especially difficult, parents will need to ensure that each child has activities that give him a chance to shine on his own. School activities, religious youth groups, and volunteer organizations can be good choices if money is tight due to medical bills. http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/stress_family.html #SiblingsOur child's siblings are wonderful with him, however, they do sometimes feel that he gets away with more. But so far we have been able to talk this out with them.
--Julie, mother of four-year-old Sean (diagnosed PDD-NOS)
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