Immature? | Autism PDD

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Jasper is starting to seem much more "baby-ish" than his peers. Obviously,
developmental delays are just that, but I have noticed lately he seems much
more immature in general.
Is this common? Am I babying him too much in my parenting? He's almost
4.5. I am curious about your opinions.Sarah will be 7 and still seems more like a 3-4 year old in some things and a 7-8 year old in others..she would still love to watch baby shows like eebee and teletubbies or boobahs

As ShelleyR noted...as along as the gap closes.. surely and steadily as they get older. And listening to what woodsman25, stickboy26, bullet, gtto, Rhosyn, Dad2Luke&Alan have to say just makes the future look MUCH BRIGHTER !!! 

So is it Immature?... I say NO! Humbug!

Shelley, Sarah IS your baby!...call her that as long as you please. Jasper
likes to say, "I'm not A baby, but I'm YOUR baby!" aawww he's a
sweetie.....

boobear, I appreciate the humbug! I know I shouldn't worry so much
about things like this.
Sometimes, though, in addition to his enduring (and endearing)"lap-baby"
personality, I read posts here, and I can't imagine him doing some of the
most basic things like showering, or washing his own hair. He doesn't
dress himself, or cut his own food--etc. He seems determined to have it
all done for him. I don't know how to push through his resistance to
acquiring some new skills.
When he turned three, he cried everytime someone called him a big-boy.
He was adamant that he was a LITTLE boy, and was completely freaked
out. He's like that still. Content be in pull-ups, feign inability...etc.

MamaKat... what you're doing for Jasper is not too different with what we do for Daniel. We still cut his food for him and even heap it on his spoon. At least he puts the spoon to his mouth by HIMSELF !! BUT if it's his favourite food, like eggs, ham, bun and fries... he'll gladly eat them by himself. He still doesn't like to use the FORK & spoon though... only the spoon.

He used to cringe when we say he's a "big boy". He'll reply..."NO! NO! I'm still a small boy" . My wife will ask, "Don't you wanna grow up?"  He'll reply with an emphatic "NO!"

My wife still baths him, in his scraggy 8 yr old tall frame... When will he bath by himself?? Sigh!! I honestly don't know!!  Jeeze, i know nothing about parenting however i do know that when i became old enough to be able to do certain things such as shower alone, cut my own food, get dressed, brush my teeth and whatnot my parents basicly forced me to learn these things, stating "big boys do it." I cant imagine that your kids dont wanna be like the big boys, even stating that, i wanted to grow up and so they did not have to force me to much, i mean the training process was longer then most kids, it took forever to learn to tie my shoes, but the rest i did myself soon enough. If your kids dont wanna be "big boys or big girls" it im sure is much harder to teach them to do things for themselfs. I wonder if their is a way to motivate them to wanna be more like the bigger kids, if you can do that then their should be no problem teaching them how to do these things.

Oh, my, yes.  Tuhina would still be a complete lap-baby, if we let her.  We maintain the level of cuddling and babying, but try to teach her appropriate skills at the same time.  And I know the day is gonna come when she no longer wants to be a baby and we will miss it.

I do worry though, especially b/c girls can be SO mean, how her peers are going to view her ...

Sometimes, as different as our kids are, it astonishes me what they DO have in common.

ETA: we are watching a Dora right now, at T's request ... and I am surprised it is not a Teletubbies!

foxl39263.6175462963This is a tough one for all parents. I hate the thought that my little baby is
growing up. I read an interesting article in Taca a while back and it made
me change my mind.
   "Are you babying your special needs child"
http://tacanow.org/behavior/aba_babying.htm

After that I donated our barney videos/teletubbies/baby einstein and such.
HIs play toys and choices of video and games are more age appropriate now
and guess what he is just fine and happy.

Thanks for sharing that article, KathyK, which was written by a real mom.  I am of the "pick your battles" variety, but that article encourages parents to pick their battles a little more systematically -- for example identifying the most age-inappropriate aspect of your child and "moving your child along."

This is not necessarily an easy task, and not necessarily a mere matter of parental will.  I have been working on making my son more independent on getting himself dressed for years now.  He's no longer as overwhelmed by the task as he once was, and he's willing enough to do it, and even mastered jacket zippers this year (thanks to his assistant).  But he just lacks the focus to do the job correctly, so we just keep struggling to find strategies that will work.  It's hard to believe, but he'll put on his little brother's pants and not even notice that they're skin-tight and come only to his knees.  Yesterday after he made that mistake, I laid out his own jeans for him and told him to change, and he apparently took his brother's pants off and put them right back on again.

My son is also a lap baby, at 70 pounds and age 9.  This is tactile and proprioceptive sensory seeking behavior for him.  It helps him self-regulate, and yes, I'm enabling it for now, but I need to find an age-appropriate substitute for it, at least in public.

Good luck with everything.

 


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