Our BAD evening at the baseball game | Autism PDD

First of all, thanks to everyone for your supportive words and advice.

It turns out, that my husband did tell him about the fireworks the other day so he did have a couple of days knowing about it.  We didn't do any social stories, they never seem to help.  Nick loves to go, oh ok, that's fine, just so he doesn't have to talk about it anymore.  Nick is 11-years-old.  He is in a regular classroom, very small size Catholic school.  He has an IEP.  He does very poorly in math.  We're not sure if he is lazy or really can't grasp it.  His teacher next year has taught special education before, so I'm hoping she'll be a positive force for him. 

Nick was talking at 8 months and by 1.5 years, he was able to go through a dinosaur book and name most of them from A to Z.  It was amazing!  He never liked loud places, like amusement parks.  The social issues started in first grade when his teachers commented on how he would, play alone, and "walk the perimitter" of the playground and they were the ones who suggested we get him tested for Aspergers.  He came in at highly likely by them and not too likely by our assessment.  I will admit, that was partially due to denial.  I did it again in fourth grade and it was more likely at that time. 

He's a happy kid who is just fine the way he is.  He has a friend up the street who has interests like he does in Legos and they do them together.  He does try to hang out with the boys at the swim club, but it never lasts that long.  He'd just rather be by himself.  He's very funny and witty.  His new thing is to come up with puns.  Some are pretty good!  He is also fascinated with Byberry and other asylums.  I have no clue where this interest came from or why, it kind of worries me. 

 Right now he is on 15mg of Celexa for anxiety and I am in the process of finding a new therapist or another form of therapy that'll do some good.  We've had a problem with that in the past.  All these doctors seem like they themselves have a disorder.  I think I want to look into ABA.

I'm glad I found this forum and thanks for any help or advice.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I'll bump this up, and hope someone else can chime in with something useful!

 

Thanks.  I just want to start over fresh.  I would like more info on ABA and how that works for AS kids.  The hardest part is finding someone who has expertise in this.  I live near Philadelphia, you wouldn't think it be so hard.I think with asperger's it's best to give your kid as much info ahead of time
as possible, so they know what to expect. even if it causes anxiety. Waiting
until the last minute to mention things is usually a recipie for disaster in our
house. Social stories are great. J hates loud noises, so fireworks would
probably scare the bejeezus out of him. We'll find out tonight, as the local
fireworks are being shot off 2 blocks from our house ! I have his
headphones ready, and have talked at length about what to expect.

I know what it's like to have a Dad who just doesn't get it, and takes
everything personally...no fun. Sending you a hug on that one!

I believe ALL of us had our fair share of PUBLIC MELT-DOWNS whether at a shopping mall, at a zoo, at a dinner function or at a concert.... At least we did.... Finger-pointing and arguments also raise spousal temperatures... We ALL went through it...some are STILL going through it...

Why, if you bring up fireworks then I'll remember those times when I held my shivering-scared-stiff boy during Chineses New Year a few years back. Or the toilet stuff...repeated journeys to the washroom just to get away from some stressors... If he wants to get away from it, let him be, just follow him, hug him to assure that it's just the loud sound of fireworks...

NOW, my boy loves fireworks !! Loves to see them through the window...even wants to go get a close-up view... Zoo and animals, well we just made one outing to a zoo recently and it went smoothly... Toilet preoccupation is still there though and he'll "CHECK OUT" the toilets at any new places that we go to...

POINT is...it will pass...it did for my boy...hope it will one day for you... RIDE through the current storm...and see the new clear skyline in the horizon beckoning... Plan new trips...but this time you might want to throw in feelers to your boy bit by bit...

boobear39263.5329166667Obviously, I can't help with something that's already happened. But may I ask what there was done to help calm your child? How old is he? Has he been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder on top of his ASD?

Obviously, preparing yourselves for this happening is the first step. Once you've done that, try to find HELPFUL calming techniques. (I don't care what anyone says, just breathing in and out won't always help.) Try not to avoid the situation because of the anxiety as this can sometimes cause even more anxiety. Try to help your child not create anxiety from the idea of getting anxiety.

If he has these moments frequently, but still wants to participate, perhaps finding a psychiatrist that can find a low-dose solution to help regulate the anxiety. .25 mg Xanax as needed for instance really helps me with stressful social situations if taken before.

These are all techniques for anxiety and of course will need to be adjusted because of the AS. But hopefully it gives you some place to start.

Tonight we took a family outing to the Phillies game.  First night with FIREWORKS.  As soon as my husband told me this, I thought to myself what the hell are you thinking.  Nick who has Asperger Syndrome doesn't even like firecrackers. 

So we don't mention the fireworks until right before and I could see the anxiety mounting the whole time.  After the fourth inning, they let off a couple and Nick starts what I think may have been an anxiety attack.  I calmed him down and it went downhill from there.  He kept going to the bathroom and was very upset thinking about the finale.  It was a mess and wound up with everyone mad at one another.  Actually my husband all pissed off and causing me to get mad at him and now he's in one of his moods, that'll last all weekend.  Yea!

I don't know what to do anymore.  He's been in different types of therapy over the years and none seem to work on these problems with change.

I just want to start fresh and be able to provide him with opportunities so he doesn't live in a hole his entire life.  Please someone help me.
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