The whole potty thing.... | Autism PDD
My son 5 1/2 has been urine trained for almost 2 years...the BM's were and still are a whole different story...He was in underwear all day and night...no pee accidents, when he had to have a bowel movement, he would ask for a pull-up. I did that for ever and then just recently I started hiding the pull-ups. When he asked for one, I would say "Mommy has to find then, I need you to go sit on the potty and wait." Then I would fold some laundry, put it away, make beds...etc all the while keeping an eye on the time and go in the bathroom every minute or so and remind him that I was looking. I could tell the urges were getting hard to control, ("Mooooooommmmmmyyyyyy, I need a pull-up please" I would hear) in the beggining I gave in a little, but still made him wait. Then I waited just a bit longer....and then I heard him say "MOMMY I DID IT!!!!" Those were the best four words I had heard in a long time....He has gone one time, and a partial second time....so I am hoping we are on the right road. He pee trained in one day....This has been a rough road, but despite that, my son is my life and I love him (quirks and all) more than life itself!!!!
My son has been potty trained (#1) since 3.5, it was sooo hard and took a lot of patience, but no #2! He has to have his pull-up. Fortunately, he never does it in public or at school. He isn't comfortable enough. He is in undies most of the time so I'm thankful for that, but I can't help wondering if I should be pushing him more to go #2 on the toilet. He's 4 now, and I'm getting nervous.
Here's my list of potty resources, which you might find useful. Good luck with everything.
Good informational articles on potty training for autistics:
http://www.epinions.com/content_4025262212 - description of one autism mom's experience. She includes links to visual aids/PECS.
http://www.teacch.com/toilet.html - advice from TEACHH. Includes a checklist, which some kids find motivating (task completion).
http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=528&a=3366 - from the National Autistic Society in the UK
Sample social stories:
http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/resources/potty_story/potty_ story.pdf - with illustrations
http://www.polyxo.com/socialstories/ss0004.html -
http://www.autism-india.org/apr00.html
http://www.butterflyeffects.com/tips/toilet-training-tips-so cial-story-for-toilet-training.aspx
http://www.frsd.k12.nj.us/autistic/Social%20Stories/Pages/go ing_to_the_bathroom.htm
http://etd.lib.ttu.edu/theses/available/etd-10212006-124110/ unrestricted/Brown_Donna_Diss.pdf - page 183 in the document (page 193 according to the viewer), specifically about flushing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSznf5We2Jc - video social story about using the bathroom at school instead of peeing outside on the playground. With Tom and Jerry!
http://www.machkovich.com/CorysAutismRecovery/SocialStories/ GoingToTheRestroomInPublicPlaces.pdf - about using a public restroom (with pictures)
http://www.machkovich.com/CorysAutismRecovery/SocialStories/ OnceUponAPotty_2.pdf - about staying dry at night (with pictures)
http://sam26847.tripod.com/id5.html - potty story with pictures
http://sam26847.tripod.com/id23.html - poop story with pictures
http://www.fcps.edu/ss/its/howtos/socstor/Bathroom%20Book.pd f - bathroom story with pictures
http://www.fcps.edu/ss/its/howtos/socstor/In%20the%20Bathroo m.pdf - about leaving the classroom to use the bathroom.
http://www.fcps.edu/ss/its/howtos/socstor/My%20Potty%20Book. pdf - about potty training (peeing only)
Kid stuff:
http://www.lil-fingers.com/potty/index.html - online potty book. Look at it alone first, to see if you want to use the sound (a talking toilet!) or read it aloud yourself.
http://www.sesameworkshop.org/sesamestreet/games/pottytime/f lash.php?contentId=16805504 - Elmo online potty game
Other:
http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Individuals-Related-Di sorders/dp/1885477457/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-5219620-8195900?ie =UTF8&s=books&qid=1179811052&sr=8-1 - book by Maria Wheeler called "Toilet Training for Individuals with Autism and Related Disorders", soon to be released in a new edition. Given 4 out of 5 stars by 17 Amazon reviewers.
http://www.creativepottytraining.com/index.html: An idea for doing a game instead of a sticker chart.
I don't want to scare you but Mason is still not fully trained...he was still in pull-ups when he started kindergarten...he is now day trained but still needs a pull-up for bedtime. He has NEVER woken up dry.
He had a lot of problems with his bowels and I think that was part of the problem and luckily he somehow regulated himself to go at night so that we can now let him wear regular underwear during the day....otherwise he might still be in pull-ups. I really thought he was going to train when I was training his younger sister...he showed a little interest there for a few days but then that completely went away. We still have to take him to the bathroom on a regular schedule because he has yet to just go by himself or even tell me that he has to go.
It has been a long long struggling battle, but I have seen slow progress, so I just have to be very patient and consistent with him...he has to go every hour...in the beginning I would make him sit for 5 minutes whether he went or not and as we got further into the training I would make him sit longer if I knew it should be coming...eventually he just started going whenever I took him in there rather than making both of us sit...he doesn't respond to me asking him if he has to go, i just have to take him...the school was very good with helping him too...and unfortunately the little rewards that worked with my other children didn't work with Mason...I guess it was really just a matter of when he comprehended it and when he was ready.
Good luck...there were times when I thought we would aways be in a pull-up too, but we have made progress!
Question for anyone who can answer it.. I am in no hurry these days to potty train my son because frankly our early intervention staff that worked and continue to work with Eddie, told us that it's okay and it will happen in time.. Now a few times my son went to the potty, however he lives in pull-ups and is quite comfortable in them.. My son is 4 and I am wondering if anyone has struggled with the whole worry thing on whether he will be trained completely by the time he reaches kindergarten which won't be for another 2 years yet.. (I plan to keep him back..) he starts preschool in the fall with a full time aide..
I kid around that he may be trained before college.. Any advice?
My oldest son was 3 and my youngest son was 5 when they were trained. We had both boys watch dad to help them get the idea. We also read stories about using the bathroom. With my youngest, I finally ended up having him go pantless (it was summer). He had a few accidents, but he did catch on pretty quick. Also, I knew he was finally ready.
I just want to say that with some of our kids (including mine) that they might never be "ready". I had to force the issue with ds around 3 1/2 and it was 5 months before he was trained. He didn't want to move from diapers to Pull-Ups - that was a 3 month battle even before we went to potty training. However, it wasn't really an option as he was pretty much growing out of size 6 diapers! There wasn't a size 7 at the time... Then, we decided to do sitting on the potty right after getting up, after lunch and before bed. We had been doing before bed since he was about 2 1/2 - little to no luck.
Anyway, he is trained - but I too thought he would just do it when he was ready. That is what everyone kept telling me. I honestly don't know if he would have been trained for another year if I hadn't pushed. He is still not night-trained and I'm not sure when that is going to happen, but we are working on it!
There are many posts on this very topic. I know because it may havebeen my very first post last fall. I have no advice, as my child (4 years 5
months) is still in pull-ups, too. We decided NOT to do the whole
underpants thing until he has USED the potty. His Dr. and therapist all
agree with me that letting him wet his pants would not be a motivator for
him.
I feel that he is close, and have high hopes for this summer. You are not
alone in this, and I have heard that average age for ASD kids is between 4
and 5 instead of 2 and 3 for more typical children,
Use the search feature and type in potty training--you will find a wealth
of info in posts on this over the past year or so. GOOD LUCK! I'll let you
know how it goes for us. Next year is our last before Kindergarten. So, I
know what your worries are.
I made adam train too. I don't think he would have done it either if I hadn't pushed a bit. Mostly because he was lacking the social awareness of "why" we go on the potty. He had to be taught that we put it in the potty because it's yucky and we don't want it on our bottoms making us dirty.
Karrie
I also responded to a post about this last year. It may be helpful for you to do a search.I treated my son as he was NT because at that time I didn't know that he had autism. I knew something may be amiss, but I didn't know about the autism. He was potty trained around 3.5 yo. We had many issues with pooping on the floor and mishaps, but we made it. I had to be very persistent and sneaky. I caught him going to the bathroom when he was about to get in the tub. Since he already had his diaper off, I just rushed him to the toilet (not even a foot away) and that's how we started pt'ing. #1 was easy, but for some reason he wouldn't #2 on the pot for a couple of months. I made a progress chart with stickers on the wall and acted really silly when he made progress. In the end he did very well. We rarely ever have accidents now.
Don't fret, it will happen. You may have to use different techniques until you find what piques his interest. Cheerios or fruit loops in the toilet may work for aiming practice. My son does that now, but his aim is NOT always that good....
I just had to add that I was told to have ds sit on the potty until he was good at going both pee and poop. I was told not to have him stand because sometimes kids (this includes NT kids as well) will confuse the feelings of peeing and pooping. You obviously don't want this to happen when he is standing up! Sitting backwards on the toilet to hang on can help. Putting a stepstool under his feet if he is on the big potty can help as well. Sitting for hours reading books to him that are solely reserved for "potty time" helped a LOT with ds. I took his favorite books and also bought some new ones with characters he loved - and those became "potty books". We would sit there for a LONG time (sometimes as much as an hour and a half and he wouldn't want to get up (wanted to keep reading!). One day, it worked for pooping. I could tell he was going to poop and I think he could too as he tried to get up. I told him, no, we aren't done with the book. He kept saying he felt funny. I told him that is fine that if he needed to have something come out of his bottom - the best place to put it was in the potty. Finally, he did! He was poop-trained about 2-3 weeks after that. Pee training took much longer!
Immediate rewards, long-term rewards with sticker charts, books about going on the potty (What to Expect when you use the potty is a good one for high-functioning kids who have to understand how everything works) are all helpful. I posted a LOT on this topic a few years ago when ds was going through it. I've also posted since several times as well.
Good luck - I guess I wouldn't hold off on it even if people are telling you to. Summer is a good time as you can let him run around naked and if you don't want to do that - at least there are fewer clothes to take off when it's time to go! I waited until ds was having SOME bladder control before we went solely to underwear. Most people advise against this, but it has worked for both my kids. When we first start potty training, I put them in underwear for half a day (if I could make it that long). Yes, there were numerous accidents - but they didn't like that wet feeling. Then I would do it the next day for a half day. Then I might wait a week or two and do it again for a day or so. They both eventually wanted to wear the "cool" underwear we had picked out, so they started to get excited about it. We're still working on dd, but she has developed a good deal of bladder control and even has had a few dry nights already! She is also starting to tell me she needs to pee occasionally.
I think it's harder to train once they are in pre-school unless the pre-school is willing to work with you on it as well - ours was a mainstream pre-school and they couldn't do much...
I *just* posted about potty training (Look for a post labelled Good News!). My ds turned 4 in the beginning of May and I told him for 2 months that when school was over (he started going to the preschool as soon as he turned 3), we'd be done with diapers and he'd wear undies. He kept telling me "NO!". So I knew I'd be in for a fight. And by day 4, I was ready to throw in the towel. He wasn't even ATTEMPTING to get to the bathroom, he'd just wait until I left the room to pee on the floor. FINALLY, after watching him VERY closely (seriously, did NOT let him out of my sight), I saw the signs that he had to go and would continually ask him if he had to go potty. He finally went on the potty for the first time after 6 days. And it just clicked. He hasn't had an accident since. I really believe that he thought it was wrong to go on potty. And once he got all the praise (and McDonalds since we'd promised him), that was all it took. Now he'll even initiate having to go by saying "potty!" and heading to the bathroom.
I really think it's easier to have them sit rather than having them stand (for boys that is). I know that for the first few times that ds actually went on the potty, he had to sit there for at least a minute or so before he went. Standing would've NEVER worked for us.
Anyway, good luck!! :)
Thank you Thank you Thank you!
YOu should definitely search this site for all "potty" posts and you'll get plenty of experience and advice. My son trained in two days when he was 5, the last spring of preschool. I simply got sick and tired of him being in diapers (no pull-ups, for the most part). He was clearly "ready," but had simply gotten used to using his diaper and resisted using the potty. I came to the point where I realized that HE was in charge of choosing to use the potty or not. But I was in charge of whether to buy diapers or not. I chose to stop buying diapers. I put him in cotton underpants 24/7 (of course, I invested in lots of rubber pads for the bed) and let him experience the natural consequences of peeing in his pants with the ONLY solution for the terrible feeling being to use the potty. My son HATED the sensation of having wet pants and peepee dripping down his legs. I took him out of diapers on a Friday afternoon and he was completely "trained" going into school on Monday. Of course, it was clear to me that he was ready and I also knew that he had sensory defensiveness, so I chose to use that fact to help me train him. It worked for me and I don't think any other tactic would have.
Cole is 6 1/2 and still not ready. We take him to the potty on schedule every 1 1/2 hours, when I see him lie down and assume the pooping position, I haul him into the bathroom. If he protests, however, I let him go do what he wants...is that wrong? I'm afraid to make the potty thing a power struggle, but I am SOOOO ready to stop changing pullups.
By the way, he will do small BMs throughout the day - like 2 or 3, sometimes 6. I don't feel like he senses the full colon and then eliminates a regular sized BM. Anyone else have this issue?
That's one reason its hard to just put him in underpants and let him rip. One poopie accident a day on the floor, whatever, is acceptable, but imagine getting six small piles of poop in the underpants daily.
Will go check the threads. Thanks. THe multiple BMs make this our biggest issue. We do the books and movies, too.
My ds is 8 and still not potty trained. It is not an issue in school unless you have him mainstreamed, as most of the special needs classes have their own bathrooms in them. GOOD LUCK whatever you do, and remember some our our special angels do not train until 6,8,even 10! As logn as we hit them before puberty I hear....LeAnne - Our youngest used to have several small bms a day before he was potty trained. One of our therapists questioned whether or not he was able to fully sense what was happening in his body. She recommended wearing tight bicycle shorts. She showed me a catalog with sensory products and they actually sold bike shorts for kids for this purpose. We didn't end up doing this, but I would have given it a shot. Oh I forgot to mention something. This is for when he has the concept but you still have booboos. After we left the diapers and pullups alone, i got those nylon panties from Kmart. They are Phase 3 I think. I would put those on over some regular underwear. Keep your eye on when you give him liquids. Give him many many liquids and let him go nude. Within the next hour or so, he should be going to the pot. I kept my eye on CJ to make sure that he wasn't trying to get out of my eye to go poop in his pants....or the floor.LeAnne--Mason too had this problem...his problem was that he had constipation problems...he couldn't go for days and days and then when he finally could go he would go many times a day...the doctor prescribed a laxative that Mason was on for more than a year...and all that did was soften up the poop and make it easier for him to push it out but he was still going many times a day...I was getting so frustrated...I was talking to a Mom one day when she told me her daughter was like that too when she was younger and the doctors had put her on a laxative, etc...and after a long year she finally took her off the laxative and tried just a fiber supplement and within weeks her daughter was regular and only going once a day...so I figured I would give it a shot...and sure enough, with Mason too, within a few weeks he was only going once a day...he actually goes at night, but it is still only 1 time.
I'm not saying this is what's happening with your son, but it might be something you would want to try or ask his ped. about...with Mason we used 1/2 tsp. of benefiber...it's a clear powder you can put in any drink...Mason never knew it was there...and within a couple of months he was so regular I slowly weaned him off of it and he has not had any problems since...I wonder sometimes if I would have just started there if it would have helped way back when, but am just glad it's finally over!
Good luck LeAnne, Allison, Autumn and the rest of us Mom's still struggling with this...we just have to stay strong. I'm positive that we will get there eventually!
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