I understand how you feel. With my son, I also had him in 2 preschools and felt like I was throwing a lot of hours at him, but not targeting the deficits as well as I could. Having said that, preschool is really where they should be helping your son with social skills. That is good practice ground. You could always try the social skills playgroup and see how it goes--I assume you don't have to plop down 00 or commit to it all at once? Maybe go and observe and see what you think. They vary in quality. You might be better off just having playdates with typical peers and moderating them yourself. That might be quite difficult. I think you can do RDI for around 00--or at least a good dose of it. What does your son do with peers? what are his main issues? rigidity? frustration? lack of interest? talking over them?
Nowwhat
For the most part my son ignores his peers. I am not sure if its lack of interest in them or lack of having much in common with them or what. He will interact but not consistantly and often for short(ish) spurts. When in school he stays with the classroom activities no problem without any extra redirection.... he'll sit and follow along with story time and participate, he'll do crafts without any extra help, etc.... but when it comes to free play time he'll either seek out the teacher or play by himself. I've noticed at playgroup when another child has something he wants or is doing somethign he doesn't like he'll immediately come to me (or another adult) for intervention or instruction.
We've never had issues with ridigity. Some mild perfectionism but only of himself not projected on others. He plays board games well with other kids. Like my cousin's 6 year old boy and him played Trouble fantastically together this past weekend. But that is very structured and predictible... take that away and he often freezes socially with peers. He's never had problems with loosing or other kids not playing by the rules though.
He does talk over other child to some extent too. He LOVES numbers and math and could talk about that all day long. Well obviously a typical 4.5 year old doesn't want to hear about math equations
Jason is high functioning but still has deficiets interacting with peers. He does great with adults and can fool any adult into believing he's not on the spectrum but put him into a room with other 4 year olds and he can't hold his own. Most of the rest of his "spectrumy" traits have dissipated other than his major number fascination
He's in two preschool programs (for fall anyway). One integrated special needs through the school district that meets 4 afternoons a week. Then also a typical church based preschool that meets 3 mornings a week. He's currently in a speech social skills group but they are switching the time to one we can't do any more because of my work schedule so that is going to end which is sad because I do think it has helped him. He's also in a typical gymnastics class and Sunday school at our church for socialization. Is school and a gymnastics class really going to be enough??
We've looked into a social skills playgroup led by a local pyschologist that has FANTASTIC reputation ... but I'd have to pull him out of the integrated school one day a week to do it and it woudl cost us a fortune (about 00 out of pocket a year... this on top of what the county and our insurance company would already be paying). AND I read things about how ineffective those types of groups are BUT I am confused because everyone I've talked to around here raves and raves about how helpful its been??
I just don't know what to do for him at this point. We can't afford a formalized RDI program as much as I'd love to do it. Dh and I have read the books and try to incorporate the principles the best that we can in our daily lives but that can only go so far. I feel terrible I hate to not do anything but I just don't know where to go from here. Do I just keep putitng him in social situations and hope he gets it eventually (but will he??)??? I don't know how to teach him to interact with his peers and thats really what he needs right now.
Any suggestions??
no other opinions??The one thing I'm learning is there is NO quick fix to this particular deficit. We've tackled in numerous ways; ABA facilitated playdates at our house (at least 1 per week for the entire year), the private preschool, enrolled him in T-Ball, Sunday School every week, spontaneous play with neighborhood kids or at the park, etc. He's made some great progress in this area, but still has a long way to go. AND on top of that I have the added benefit of an NT twin at home 24/7 to act as a peer model. I have to admit he's probably learned the most and made the most advances due to her.
Needless to say, I think you just have to keep chipping away at this. My son does do better in smaller groups, and I've noticed that he seems to be most engaged when the playdate is at our house. So, even though this means I have to be involved, I do feel that this is where we're currently getting the greatest benefit (and it's free
My personal belief is that some of the social growth comes with age and while I'd like to have it all fixed NOW, and think simple maturity will help in this area. In the meantime, keep exposing him to other kids in whatever fashion works with you and your family, but be sure to be there to mentor him through it.
Check out the posts on RDI here. Yes, it's expensive, but it can also be done using their book, if the parents are dedicated. It gets at the social piece, which is what holds most ASD kids back. Not their lack of academic skills.