Did you ask the director if there is grant money to hire an aide or assistant for an autistic child? WOW...thanks for the info...I just asked about this too and didn't get quite these responses...these are very helpful, thanks.
Many ASD kids have ADHD, but the difficulties I've seen in daycare for ASD kids have nothing to do with the ADHD symptoms. They mostly have to do with the "weirdness." Like the fact that so many of them violate the "no tattling" rule of childhood. Even the adults who are in charge can't stand kids who tattle. Or they constantly perserverate on a topic and the daycare provider has no idea how to deal with it. Or they don't follow directions -- an executive functioning disability that is often seen as noncompliance. Also, their strange ways are often seen by peers as "baiting," and the daycare provider comes to see the ASD child as the instigator, whereas the ASD child has no clue whatsoever what he did to instigate. The very environment of daycare plays directly into our kids' disability. It is typically unstructured, has lots of sensory issues, requires at least age-level social skills to negotiate, is supervised by untrained people who often mis-read ASD symptoms as non-compliance or negative social instigation. Simple ADHD, on the other hand, is understood. The symptoms of ADHD may cause trouble for the daycare provider but in ways the daycare provider understands. It's easy to understand hyperactivity in a young child. It's hard to understand a little child who drives you up a wall by asking you a thousand questions about the sprinker system or who whines and whines about childish behavior on the part of his childish peers. What is most heart-breaking to me is not the rejection they get from their peers (which is certainly heart-breaking enough) but the rejection they get from the adults who are in charge. I don't think that can easily be fixed.
Kindercare seems to be VERY accepting of my DS, 4, who is NT and/or ADHD ... and a huge discipline problem!
He has been at this center since late January, now, and really seems to be maturing and cleaning up his act!
I'm right here with you. I have ended up attending the afterschool program with my HFA son. They do watch him with out me all day on Mondays and for about an hour a day until I can get there. Fortunatly, they are willing to work with me and him and are not threatening to kick him out, but it the beginging, it was heading that way till I offered to go with him to make suggestions and to train the teachers how to work with him and to teach him what the rules were and to see if the program was appropriate for him.
I am interested in seeing what others have figured out for after school care.
My 6 yr old son was recently kicked out of his 6th daycare last week. We live in a small town and I just took him to regular daycare centers. She said what thay all say...he is too much work for the money. She would continue to watch him, but she would need to hire an asst. and charge me 10.00 an hr. What do other working parents do? He is a high functioning Aspergers kid.It doesn't surprise me that a daycare mom would need an assistant to take care of an ASD child. We often ask for one-on-one aides in school, and teachers are professionals who still need the extra pair of hands. I know countless kids, especially kids with Asperger Syndrome, who have been kicked out of daycare programs. They are LOTS of work (as we all know). Oftentimes daycare providers don't mind low functioning autistic kids who sit in the corner and rock, but they are driven totally up the wall by Asperger's kids who can't stop talking or who are incessant tattlers due to their hyperfocus on rules or who have sensory issues that make it difficult on the daycare providerand the other kids. We parents live and breathe this stuff, but the issues of an ASD child are pretty all-consuming, and group care often does not work well.
It's a dilemma. I solved it by quitting work and staying home. My husband and I tightened our belts and we are now facing a spare retirement because we haven't been able to save enough money. Having a child on the autism spectrum costs a lot. Not only in what we spend on them but in what we can't earn because we're hamstrung in terms of getting help with them. Some families have only one breadwinner or neither parent can make enough money alone to put a roof over the family's heads and food on the table. This is a serious issue, with no good solutions. I wish you well in your quest.