ch..ch..ch..changes | Autism PDD

Luke has this new very irritating behavior. He has never before had a problem with transitions. He could be watching The Wiggles and eating a waffle and I could sweep in, turn off the tv, bring him out to the car, and drive him anywhere and he had no problem with it. For about a week now, however, anytime we leave the house, Luke throws a mini-tantrum, complete with feet stamping, whining and fake crying. He's fine again as soon as we're in the car, starts his act again as we're walking into whatever place we're going to, then is fine again once we reach our final destination (a table in a restaurant, the therapy room, whatever ...). I'm trying to decide if he's starting to have problems with transitions OR if he's jealous of the baby (who is being carried in his carseat while Luke must walk holding my hand) OR if he's mad be/c he wants to go to the playground, which we haven't taken him to for about a month be/c it's been too darn hot! He's almost 29 mos old and it scares me to think that he's "getting worse" especially since he wasn't TOO bad off to begin with. Could he just be acting out be/c of the new baby?? Any ideas???

Hi Kellie,

My little guy Riley is about the same age as Luke and I had a new baby in November. I did notice some jealous behavior in him but he is a twin so he has always had to share. Riley won't walk anywhere with me if I hold his hand he just drops all of his weight (47lbs) so I have to carry him every where. But we have noticed more mini tantrum with him lately too. So I wonder if it could not be the stage (2 years old) of life they are going through also that make it look as if things are getting worse. Just my thought

Thanks ... that's something else I didn't account for! Maybe you're right ... maybe this is how he's asserting his independence (since he's not talking yet). Glad to know we're not alone in this!

At right about 3 years old or soon before..Adam started having problems with transitioning. It comes and goes. With him he seems to get used to routine so easily so sometimes depending on his mood he has problems with changes. For instance...leaving the house. I found that it helps to prep him like an hour before we leave to let him know we are going somewhere that day. If I plan on shopping or taking him to therapy I will start that morning and talk about what we are going to do that day. I don't think he understands all of my language but he certainly knows what bye bye is and since I have been doing this, it has made things easier.

Karrie

I'm not sure. Aiden was the new baby so no idea about that. But he has acted like that every now and again. Some days he is ok, like you mentioned, w/ me just turning off tv or changing things in the schedule. But he has had his off times where he flips out when I try to get in the way of what he is doing to direct him to something else. Like if he is playing w/ something and he's very involved and I keep saying "come on lunch time" and I have his food ready. He keeps ignoring me so after repeating that 5 or 6 times w/ no reaction, I'll just pick him up and put him in his booster seat and sometimes he has freaked out and thrown food and all. Just one example. But sorry I am not sure if it is jealousy of new baby as I have no experience w/ that for Aiden. And I know my nt 4 yr old dd didn't have any issues w/ his birth. I hope it improves rather than continues or worsens.

Amber

Hi Kellie.

I'm in the same boat you are in. I have a newborn who is getting all of the attention that Noah used to. Noah started acting frustrated and angry too but after my mom took the baby for the weekend he turned back into a little sweetheart. I've made it a point to do things that he loves such as holding him while we listen to a few of his favorite songs and he hasn't acted out since. I know it is hard to find time to simply take a shower with kids our age so good luck! Hopefully it's just a little bit of new baby jelousy.

Transitioning problems can occour at any time for spectrum kids. Zach's didn't hit until over age 3, mentaly he is only 18 mo. hence a lot of things he does is more approprate for the 18 months age group. The toy's the tv shows the video's everything but video games there he is about 25 yrs old. The last 6 mo. everytime we go somewhere I've found that if I keep things almost the same things go more smoothly. It's turn off the tv, put on shoes and put on backpack. Hold hands now let's goooo..... and he's good with that. Now leaving him somewhere without myself is a whole other story. He will no longer go to the nursery during church service. And it's taken over three mo. with his current ST for me to let her take his hand and lead him out of the waiting room. This week he spent almost 40 min. with her before melting wanting mommy.

He start's pre-school in Sept. and we have decided since he loves cars and trucks and busses and trains that we are going to have him ride the bus even though we only live two blocks from the school, just to help with transition.

And as for the sibbling thing, OH yea is he jellous, and it will come out in all sort's of ways. But just remember babies are made of tougher stuff than we give them credit. Hang in there and in a few months things will calm down, he will get used to the new baby right up until the baby start's crawling and getting into his stuff! Then the war will start all over. Hang in there I have three kids 10,6,3 and baby sit my neice 2yrs since she was 3 mo. old. So she is just another kid in this house all day long. They now get along great she's potty training and so it is helping Zach with potty training some because every time she yells potty he runs for the potty too and will try! Which is great because he never want's to try. Yesterday he went all day without an accident until dh put a diaper on him last night while I was at the hospital (long story short my dad is sick)

All I can say is hang in there and keep moving forward, even if you have little set back's along the way, just keep moving forward. Have a lot of patience I'm glad I was over 30 when I had Zach I have a lot more patience with him than I did in my mid 20's when I had my oldest.

I, too, am over 30 (getting closer and closer to that big 4-0 ... UGH!) and I can't help but wonder how I would've handled this whole thing if I were in my 20s. I might have more patience now than I did then, but I give a lot of credit for that to my dh for bringing out the good in me. And he always gets me to laugh somehow -- no matter how bad my day (how does he DO that?!). Luke was always so easy-going before, so it's strange to me to see him being UN-easy going ... but everyone here is correct that I should expect him to be acting differently ... with the addition of an unrequested little brother and a mother who's half asleep all day! Now I'm not so sure it's a problem with transitioning be/c every other daily transition is still pretty good. Life would be a lot easier in this household if Luke would learn to TALK! Maybe if I tell him that he'll finally start.

hi kellie,

i also share the same problem with my 3yr old daren, and he also has a new born sister. he went from being the sweetest non tantrumming kid to the opposite in just a few months.anyway i brought this to the attenion of his ABA therapist who assured me there was no possiblity he is getting worse and said the most likely explanation is that daren is now becomming a 3 yr old with tipical 3 yr old behaviors. I beleive him because he is very experieince and has always been right so far, but i can't help but feel like he is getting worst somethimes cause the behavior is so like that of atpical pdd-nos kid as well which after all he is so, i too share your confusion. maybe someone has to come up with a way for them to be more prepared for siblings, but on the other hand NT kids also show jealousy and act out when put in this situation also.however we look at it there is probly no answer and it would definatly be alot easier if Daren also talk and communicate his views bout the whole thing

sonia