I think my friend’s child may be autistic | Autism PDD

Hello I personally think you should make mention of it to your friend, before I had my son diagnosed there were alot of friends and family who thought he was just a spoiled brat and I started feeling the same way about him also. It wasn't until a mother to one of my nt daughters friends who happens to be an OT pulled me aside at a school function where my son was having a meltdown by the way , and asked me if I had taken him to have an eval. I was kind of shocked at first but it was what I needed because infact I was in denial and was trying to make myself belive that he was gonna come around and be ok before school started. One of the things she said to me was to do an autism check list so I did and wow what a wake up call that was he fit all of the characteristics of an autistic child. So maybe you could mention that to your friend and just tell her that you are concerned for her and her son. You may find that she is in denial and just needed someone elses opinion to help her and the way she is feeling. I know after I had my son dx'd sooo many people were like I knew there was something wrong with him!!! That is a bigger slap in the face than someone who can come to you before hand and tell you they are concerned about your child. Also remind your friend that with autism the earlier the innervention the better....I wish I would have listened to myself and had my son evaluted at 2 or 3 instead of 4!!! Good luck just tell her you are concerned and that you want to see her son get the help he needs.

I think my friend's child may be Autistic. How would you tell a really good friend you think she should get her child checked. I don't want to hurt her feelings or anything. Her son is almost 4 years old, and he doesn't know when he has to use the restroom. Also he doesn't talk unless he is repeating something off of the television. He is such a sweet little boy. Should I say anything to her, should I just leave it alone? Please let me know what you all think I should do.

Thank you,

A concerned friend

I agree w/ everyone on here. I am glad my stepmom mentioned it to me. Maybe even just say that you saw on tv (so many things about it on tv lately that they've probably even seen things for it) about some signs of autism like echoing and what not (list things he is doing that you have heard could be signs of the disorder). Say that what you heard about asd made you think of their child and you thought you should tell them as a good friend because you would want someone to bring it up to you. This way you sound caring and even nonchalant about it (you know I saw on tv recently...) so as not to freak them out. A gentle approach is best. If he is fine, it won't hurt anything to check it out. I hope this goes well for you.

Amber

Hello,

I agree that you should say something. The most important thing here is that child and for that child to get evaluated and help if needed. I'm saying this because it is even more important than your friendship. Be prepared for your friend to be angry and hurt by you mentioning such a thing but if they are a true friend they will realize that you are also a true friend by saying something and they will eventually come around. If not....well at least you said something and did what you could to help that child and maybe they will get an evaluation anyway.

Karrie

I agree that you should find a gentle way to tell your friend your
concerns. The most frustrating thing for me is when people now tell
me "I always knew there was something wrong with Gavin" well, WHY
DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING THEN? I get that comment from my
parents and inlaws all the time. For 3 yrs I thought I was crazy for
thinking something was wrong. It would have been a relief to have
someone confirm my worries and get me started on early
intervention. As it was I never even mentioned it to my peds because
I thought I was being a paranoid first time mom. Good luck! You
seem like a great friend to be this concerned!I, too, think you should say something... perhaps something like, "Is your son's pediatrician aware of his difficulty with potty training and speech delay?" You don't want to come out and say "I think maybe your son is autistic" be/c that might put your friend into immediate denial or make her (possibly needlessly) upset. Still, you'd be a good friend to mention your concerns and to let her know that you're there to support her in anyway she needs.

Kellie

My son didn't use the bathroom on a regular basis until he was 5, and only would pee. He was afraid to sit on the thing until he was almost 6. He is still working on using the toilet. He never minded being in soiled pants and still doesn't.

I wish someone had said something to me earlier. I thought my son was having problems because his father and I separated a few weeks after his 3rd birthday. It wasn't until he was 4 that he was evaluated by the school system then privately at Children's Hospital in Boston.