another child? newbie | Autism PDD

This is such a personal decision.  My 9 year-old is also high functioning.  The bottom line for us was I did not want him to be an only child.  Both my DH and I have siblings, so that is what we are accustomed to.  In our case, our youngest son is also on the spectrum.  The up side is I knew what to do and where to go and he will be fine.  He and his brother get along really well and they will always have each other.  Most of the families I personally know only have one child affected, and one is a girl.  No child is perfect and there will always be something to be worried about.  That's part of being a parent.  Follow your heart and do what's best for your family.     my 8 yr.old son is high functioning pdd, but i still worry about the next being worse off, i don't think i could go throught speech, ot,pt, and iep's again, i know there is no guarentee, but maybe we should just pray for a girl, the clock is ticking and the gyno is pushing for a decision, i went to babies r- us store and took a look around and wow,
hardest decision i ever had to make any words of wisdom?

You can search this topic on the board, it has been discussed several times in the past.  There are some very insightfull responses. 

I had both my 2nd and 3rd child before Adam was dx'd, so it wasn't really an issue for me.  I am not sure what I would do if I had known.  Of course now that I have them all.  I wouldn't have done it any other way.  But hindsight is 20/20.   

I am the oldest of 8 and the only child on the spectrum.

I just recently went through this myself. I guess it all started at my son's diagnosis in '01-'02. The neuroligist told me my son was on the spectrum, and in almost the same sentence told me my husband and I should talk about a more permenent birth control solution. He said even the pill is only 99% effective. I had never heard of autism, and I felt like I was hit by a bus. What could be so bad that I shouldn't even consider having more kids?

Anyway, the next couple of years were difficult, but I have come to some sort of peace with my son's diagnosis. He is who he is, and it isn't half as bad as that doctor made it sound.

We started talking about more kids. I thought would is the worst case senerio? There really isn't one. Nothing would turn out as I suspect. Even if I had another child on the spectrum, I'd be better prepared, but he/she would be a completely different person. There are also so many things out there that affect us. Maybe my child would be fine, but what if they died in a car accident and I'd have to deal with that? There is no way to put a protective bubble around our lives. I also thought about my answer when someone asked me if I was done having kids. How would my son on the spectrum feel if he thought I altered my whole life plan because I had to deal with him. It's not like we as parents come out and say those things, but KIDS KNOW.

The answer then became easy. My husband and I now have a seven month old son, and it has been wonderful! I didn't find out the sex of the baby and tried to stay as stress free as possible. He is a great gift in our lives, and it has made my son on the spectrum a little less dependant on me. He now is not the baby, and he is taking on his new role beautifully. This is one of the happiest times of my life, and I am glad I didn't miss out because of all the what ifs.

I will pray for you, and God will provide the answer!

I have two children.  My son was not diagnosed yet when I got pregnant with my second.  I always had my suspicions, but had not received it officially yet.  Our second is a girl and I was so happy not only to have a girl, but I thought my chances were even more slim that she would be on the spectrum.  Well, today we're in the process of getting my daughter diagnosed.  She's similar to my son, which is high-functioning, but she has the same speech delays as my son.  I'm pretty sure she's on the spectrum.  She's not as affected sensory-wise as my son.  I, of course, wouldn't changed a thing.  But I have to admit that we wanted a third, but now I think we're done.  Having two on the spectrum is enough on my plate.  Even if we had a NT child, I really don't have the time or energy for a third.  Good luck with your decision.  I have 2 NT kids, an 11 year old and a 5 year old. Our last child falls on the mod-severe side of the spectrum. We're done!
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